Hello,

First of all, this is rather embarrassing, and the only reason I'm talking about the following is because I can remain anonymous.

I am a 19 year old guy, university student, and all my sexual experiences were with prostitutes in bordellos (which are legal in my country btw).

I am a bit overweight, and I'm working on it, in order to gain more self esteem. I have very low self confidence, even though I pretend to be otherwise all the time, because I hate to be "the desperate guy"...

From a very young age I was trying to get a girlfriend, but it seems that no girl was ever interested in me (at least not a girl I liked). So, tired of waiting for that "romantic and ideal first time", I started visiting bordellos at weekly basis, thinking that the more experienced I got, the less I would be shy to express my feelings. Spend a lot of money in this, but zero result.

Yes, now I can have a casual conversation with a girl, even be a little flirty, but it did not give me the self confidence boost I was expecting...

Right now, what I want is to experience some emotions and share them with a girl that will like me for who I am, not because I paid her... I want to get a girlfriend. But, every time I like some girl, I feel like she's judging me, and that she sees right away how desperate for some love I am.

Last thursday, I was with a girl I liked at a university party... I acted cool, talked to other girls, and finally, I got her number (which I thought was impossible). Thing is, I keep making scenarios in my head that she gave me her number either to get rid of me, or that she sees me as a friend (not a mating material) etc...

We also got a picture together. After a wile, when she was about to leave, I wanted to kiss her so badly, and I almost did... I caught her from behind the neck, looked at her in the eyes... except, a moment before I went for the kiss, I thought that she was probably not interested in me, so I changed my mind, and kissed her on the cheeks to say goodnight (nothing special about it, it's very common here in Europe).

I think she might be the right girl for me, but I don't know what to do to get her... I really need some advice from someone who knows what he's doing...

PS: I also never had a girlfriend, and my only kiss with a non-paied girl was in the kindergarten -_-

PS2: I know my case might seem stupid, hilarious and probably is, but I just needed to get this off my chest. To all my friends I have been lieing about being the exact opposite of who I am, and that I have had many girlfriends. I don't want to be the "desperate guy" anymore, so please give me advice instead of mocking me...