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  • 1 Post By mth185

Thread: Quesiton about my friend zone story

  1. #1
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Quesiton about my friend zone story

    So I met this girl through a mutual friend about 2 months ago. We hit it off instantly, exchanged numbers and started texting back and forth. She and her roommate threw a party 2 weeks later, and we made out (drunkenly) that night. Over the next month or so we made out probably 5-6 times, some drunk some not, but nothing serious. She kinda helped me get over my ex (just by making me realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea), and I started to like her.

    We'd been texting/talking back and forth a lot over that month, even went camping together with a group of friends but it was pretty much me and her together all weekend. This past weekend she invited me to a party with a bunch of her college friends, knowing that I would know only a few people there...then proceeded to pretty much ignore me. Now I'm a pretty social guy, so that itself wasn't a big problem, I have little problem talking to strangers. The problem came when I saw her very openly and aggressively flirting with another guy. I was under the assumption that I was there WITH her. I didn't make a scene or anything, just pulled her aside when I got the chance and flat out asked her what was going on, didn't get angry or anything though, I was just honestly confused. She says "I don't know where this is coming from, we're just friends...just because we made out a few times doesn't mean anything" For the first time in my life I was actually speechless haha. Not really that big of a deal, but I just couldn't believe I had misread the situation so badly. I said "You're right it doesn't mean anything, but I was kind of hoping we could see where things go. You don't agree, that's your decision and that's fine, I respect it. Not a big deal." The party was starting to die down at this point, so I finish my drink and head out.

    She said that she didn't want things to be weird between us ect, ect. I of course answer "no, not at all" but in my head I'm thinking "we're already past that point toots haha." Not that I'm hung up on this girl, but I do want the chance to close her, so I'm doing an experiment with the tactics I've read about getting out of the friend zone.

    Last night I set up a date with a girl I worked with over the summer - she's a solid 9, and there was lots of flirting going on back and forth all summer but neither of us wanted to get involved with someone from work. Been there, always ends badly. Plus at the time I was still hung up on my ex, so that didn't help matters. We're going out tomorrow night for sushi at a place near me (she's pescatarian and loves sushi). It didn't occur to me at the time, but my roommate pointed out that the girl who friend zoned me often goes to this same place with her girlfriends on tuesdays for sushi night. I honestly didn't (consciously) even think of that before.

    My question is if it would seem too soon and too obvious that I was trying to make her jealous if she were to see us? Seems like it could come off a bit desperate. I DO want to make her a little green, but wasn't planning on it yet. I wanted to freeze her out for a few weeks first and see how she responds to that, if she responds at all.

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    Just greet her like you would any friend, guy or girl. Don't like rush over especially for her, and don't avoid saying hello especially for her. Make like it's no big deal and it won't be, and the jealousy will work.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    I know how to handle it if I do run into her, I was just wondering if it was too soon to play the jealousy angle since this all just went down a few days ago? I just want to avoid coming off as too obvious or desperate.

  4. #4
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    Nah, as long as you have the inner frame of being a high-value male who enjoys the company of women/has abundance, and as long as you're going out with this chock because she seems cool and not just to make the other chick jealous, then it should be fine.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    Good to know. I do like this other girl, I'm not just using her. Kind of lost contact with her after the summer except for a wedding we went to together last month and we just randomly started talking on Facebook last night so I figured why not just ask her out?

    Thanks for the reply.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    But as far as when she gave me the "we're just friends" spiel, I handled that the right way didn't I?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    You didn't do poorly, like most guys do worse, however you did accept her frame however saying you were ok and understood her decision. You should have reframed the question to say more like "friends don't put friends in boxes". You want it at least open ended, you're intention was right but ultimately you let her set the tone and didn't effectively pull her in to your preferences. This is not easy tho, so Like I said you didn't do bad, you can recover

    Personal I think the date is wierd if she thinks it's intentional that you showed up there when she is there, so you'll have a bit of frame control, ie staying cool and alpha and fun regardless of her presence
    But a 9 that is hotter is a good plan all together

    Here's my post on general friend zone rules for reference, I think I discuss those situations a bit (where she gave you the just friends bit)
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...html#post66071
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  8. #8
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    You didn't do poorly, like most guys do worse, however you did accept her frame however saying you were ok and understood her decision. You should have reframed the question to say more like "friends don't put friends in boxes". You want it at least open ended, you're intention was right but ultimately you let her set the tone and didn't effectively pull her in to your preferences. This is not easy tho, so Like I said you didn't do bad, you can recover

    Personal I think the date is wierd if she thinks it's intentional that you showed up there when she is there, so you'll have a bit of frame control, ie staying cool and alpha and fun regardless of her presence
    But a 9 that is hotter is a good plan all together

    Here's my post on general friend zone rules for reference, I think I discuss those situations a bit (where she gave you the just friends bit)
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...html#post66071
    Yeah, I guess I could've handled it a little differently and not accepted her position so readily. Honestly, I was just totally taken aback by it though, I didn't know exactly what to do but I knew what I DIDN'T want to do - get angry, come off as needy or clingy. I just wanted to keep my cool. A few of her friends have even since contacted me saying that they have no idea what that was all about and that they thought she was really into me ect. Maybe she's just a looney tune, who knows?

    Like I said before, I would like the chance to close with this girl, but if it doesn't happen I certainly won't be losing any sleep over it. I'm kind of rethinking taking this other girl there for dinner, I don't want to make it seem too obvious...unfortunat ely she's really excited about it haha. And there's no guarantee that I'll see her and her friends there, just the chance.

  9. #9
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Quesiton about my friend zone story

    Date went well...really well, and fortunately didn't see the other girl or her friends. She did most of the talking (she's a chatterbox), but I think I did a pretty good job directing the conversation, used a few playful negs and DQs, didn't overdo it though. By the time either one of us looked at the clock it was past midnight, time really flew. Our schedules kind of clash at the moment, but we're gonna go out again next week.


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