This weekend I broke every rule of the opening and it appeared to work. It breaks so many rules, but we all know that depending on context, it’s the correct approach.
There was a very pretty girl who was working at Target. She had very colorful hair, half dark, half blond. It was clear she spent some time on this, and she didn’t do it because she didn’t want anyone to notice. Somehow context seemed to suggest that a compliment would be better than a traditional neg. So walking by, over my shoulder I said “I like your hair!”
Her face lit up like a Christmas tree, and she said “Thanks! You’re like, the only one who noticed!” She was clearly happy.
Somehow I don’t think that it conveyed that I was hitting on her (Although it may have and she didn’t mind.) I was basically walking past and away from her the entire time (this was calculated, as a IOD, and to be non-threatening, I was “busy” and just “noticed” as I was passing.)
I figured she was at work, during the day, and the context didn’t call for the usual Bitch Shield. (Usually only seen during evenings in club/bar settings due to the frame, the context that most men are clearly out to pick them up), or coming off as creepy (usually due less to content and instead a non-congruent delivery of material)
Unfortunately I didn’t have the cojones to go back and close this particular one, and I wasn’t sure how to stack forward on her after this opener. But, it’s so much easier to open with something like this than a usual opener.
What sort of frame could I create that makes this opener work more often? Why does it work when it does, or why doesn’t it?
When can you compliment without the corresponding DHV, Negs, and iois that usually precede such a gambit?