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  1. #1
    Angler Bill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Out of game 25 years and here we go again. Everything has changed and I'm out of the dating game loop. When the subject of my topic happens what advice is there? Never thought I would have to deal w/ a female at my age doing this. I just had the last minute cancellation and in the text "can we do this tomorrow" in which I replied sure I understand....tomorr ow comes and no reply from my text...nor the next day...and as of this post she has yet to respond....what is confusing is up to this point every single text between us was positive...had flirting....sexual tension..then boom!!!....she flakes....WTF???.... what are your recommendations on this??....F it and move on or do a follow up text to see WTF....???

  2. #2
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Hey there..give us the context.. ie how you met, how long ago, and some examples of the last texts leading up to it.

  3. #3
    Angler Bill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    We met on POF 2 weeks ago....exchanged text thru POF for a week and I number close...we exchange text thru this week...all were positive...she and I agreed on a date for this Friday night. She was flirting and telling me what a "fun" date she would be via cell phone all this week. Replies were in depth not the one or two word responses...like ok or cool...at the last minute work makes her cancel (so she says)...we exchanged text via cell phones that night while she is at "work" with her wanting to change to the next night...(my text to her were I was concerned for her safety being in a downtown location by herself into the night)...I follow up via cell phone the next day asking what time does she want to meet up and then she flakes...

  4. #4
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Hmmm, I think maybe you got too comfortable with her too fast. I am no expert but even though it is nice for you to worry about her it came off as needy/clingy? Perhaps you let her stop qualifying and lost the cocky/funny tone in the texts?

    Either way she is clearly interested. So don't contact her anymore and wait for her to approach again. She more than likely will explain herself. Just brush her off and tell her she better bring her A game to your next date. Stay confident and don't over text her. I think you are like me, sometimes we go too LONG into responses and kill the mystery. We give ourselves away AFC style in the texts and there is no need for them to meet us.

    Hope it helps man.

  5. #5
    Angler Bill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    I did not plan on contacting her again at all....I didn't put up w/ this when I was in my teens....ain't doing it again...

    Not sure on the clingy aspect....you might be right...I was not being that prior....I was spacing out my responses and not replying back to her in minutes....would go hours between responses....it just confuses me why she would cancel and then in the same text suggest meeting the next night....then flakes....

    You state she is clearly interested in me....how??...if she cancels...then ignores me.....I see that as a ditch...which does confuse me...and I do not expect a follow up from her...based on my "past"....there has never been a follow up...just good bye.....

  6. #6
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Yeah, I think there must have been some interest due to the fact she agreed to the date. I think now all attraction might be lost and she is gone. You could be right. The fact she suggested "tomorrow" could just be her way of putting you down nicely (Mystery said some girls did that, like giving you a fake IOI when they ditch)

    I guess time will tell. For now if she does come back, act cool and give her the I DONT NEED YOU vibe you did in the start.

  7. #7
    Angler Bill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Just for fun I texted her Happy Thanksgiving. She texted right back w/ "Hey you, Happy Thanksgiving".....re plied back to her about what a nice day and looking forward to the food....and that was it. How should I play it from here...I think if I ask her back out soon I will come off needy. How does one attempt a date close w/out looking needy after she flaked on me??

  8. #8
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    Supremo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Well I would of suggested not replying for a few days but seeing as you did, that's not gonna help ha ha. Im not pro but you want this women to think that you have better things to do besides go after her. You more then likely will come off needy if you try for the date again too soon so maybe give it a few days before chatting to her at all. It's possible that you didn't build enough comfort during texting to warrant a date, even though she agreed to it, it might of been something she didn't think about properly.

    There are ways to try get a date without coming across as needy. Firstly you mustn't let her know that her flaking bothered you. Don't bring it up and if she tries to apologize for it, just brush it aside. I personally won't text her again but instead call her. When you call her you can hear in her voice if she is interested, she doesn't have all the time in the world to respond and if you use cocky funny it can be delivered better then over text. To me texting should only be used once you have built enough comfort and attraction otherwise try only using it to set up future dates. Provided you manage to finally get that elusive date with the lady.

  9. #9
    Angler Bill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Good idea....I think I will wait another few days and follow up w/ her. That was the first time I texted back to her after she cancelled (6 days)....Based on the past flakes I think she still has to be interested because the past ones never responded. I will work on the Comfort Zone w/ her and then try again....if the same results happen then I just move on.....oh and yes, I will not and have not mentioned anything about cancelling and had planned on not talking about it even if she mentions it....

    I just started reading The Mystery Method and the Comfort Zone is something I have to work on. For anyone that has not read this I highly suggest you do right now!!!....I'm not plugging it but telling you it is something that will open your eyes about dating and how it works....

    Thanks for the reply!!!

  10. #10
    souzea is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Re: Last minute cancels or being stood up

    Guys,
    Good advice- try this one on for size...

    I met this girl at a music festival about 3-4 years ago and we had a great time one of the nights (only made out). I woke up in the morning in my tent realizing that she was next to me (we were drinking a little too much the night before. I was shocked to see her because I did not remember closing the night before but I was MORE shocked to see my buddy in the tent as well. After a few awkward minutes where I open and closed my eyes about 40 times to see if I was dreaming, I exited the tent without her, or my buddy, noticing. I find out later that they shagged in my tent while I was passed out. I high-fived my buddy and never spoke of it again. Three weeks ago I see her in my home town (she was going to school somewhere else) and we chatted for a while. We went out on a dinner date the following week and it went awesome. I was playing the 'older guy card' and seeing what she is interested in pursuing, career-wise, as she had told me previousley that this thought is freaking her out. I am 4 years her senior and pretty settled in my career and wanted to figure her out under the guise of 'career counsellor'. Anyway, the date ended with me walking her back to her car and I asked her, right before saying good-bye, and knowing that she did kick-boxing, how she would defend herself if a guy grabbed her at a bar. She showed me by through a straight right, I deked, and came around behind her and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. She was totally digging it. I proceeded to twirling her around to face me and grabbed both of her arms and started to kiss her. She wanted me to come into her car but I said that I could'nt because I had to leave. She got a little upset but told me that my excuses wouldnt work next time. The next couple of days we text back and forth until I finally ask her to come down to my MMA gym for a muay thai class (pure cardio) and that she could show me some of her moves. She sounded all for it and when the day came to meet me at the gym @ 6pm, I didnt get a text until 5:15 saying " how are you". I replied with " good, you?" and "you coming?" she said that she would see me there and that she was just making sure that we were still on.

    I went a little early to spar with a buddy and when 6pm rolled around, she didnt show. I was busy with trying to avoid face shots all class so I did not fret too much. Got back to the change room at 7:30pm and i have three texts from her saying, " Traffic is horrible on the bridge" and "I am going to have to make it up to you" followed by "text me later."

    My thoughts:
    1. she is gorgeous and a pretty cool chick
    2. she had AN excuse (not saying that it was good)
    3. give her the benefit of the doubt

    My Questions:
    1. Should I text her
    2. if so, what should I say
    3. should I just give her the ol' bye bye


    OK Masters, I await your reply.


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