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Thread: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

  1. #1
    Adz91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    hi, this is my first post so go easy.

    I met this girl through one of my friends and managed to get her number. we've been texting most days for the past week and been meeting a couple times aswell.

    here's the thing... she was hinting for me to either see her on her break at work which i have done twice but whenever she asks me or i ask her at night to hang out shes always got some1 else with her like a friend or whatever? one night we had a good time so i text her asking to arrange something for tomorrow night just us 2. she replied ' my ex has just text me and he's comin round to sort a few things out bla bla' . she lives on her own so wether its bils or the relationship itself i dont know? i replied with ' oh ok thats fine no worries' . she then tried to draw me in by replying with ' aww i am so confused'.

    its been a couple days since he was ment to come round and weve meet a couple more times. she knows i like her and i think she likes me but she told me she just wants to get things sorted out with him first? i dont know who finished with who but am trying not to get involed or listen to her stories.

    ive tried going cold n go NC but she stills texts me first and quite a few times. she will flirt etc, and at the weekend she asked me round for drinks and then head uptown. so i brought some friends then we had a good night n went up town then ended up stayin at hers but again her friend was there so 3 of us slept in the same bed so nothing happened. we still havent kissed or anything? she said last night ' u can come round n stay but no kissing yet or sex' haha jokingly. guess i lost my balls and didnt make a move becoz she kept tellin me those things.

    so after that night we hung out again but again her friends were involved. when i got home we never contacted each other so the following morning i decided to shoot her this text ' you now ur wasting my time by fooking around with your ex so when u want to play with th big kids u can talk to me then'. wanted to try get across th fact i wasnt going to sit around and wait. Havent heard back from her after that text but its only been a day.

    On that night out from the weeknd i opened up towards her and she opened up to but she said' just let me get things sorted with him first'.

    is it possible shes still got feelings for the ex and hes furking her around n pullin th strings?

    Should i just keep NC with her now? Dont know why but i have strong feelings for her. Have i been friendzoned now and its so late?

    thanks

  2. #2
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adz91 View Post
    hi, this is my first post so go easy.

    I met this girl through one of my friends and managed to get her number. we've been texting most days for the past week and been meeting a couple times aswell.

    here's the thing... she was hinting for me to either see her on her break at work which i have done twice but whenever she asks me or i ask her at night to hang out shes always got some1 else with her like a friend or whatever? one night we had a good time so i text her asking to arrange something for tomorrow night just us 2. she replied ' my ex has just text me and he's comin round to sort a few things out bla bla' . she lives on her own so wether its bils or the relationship itself i dont know? i replied with ' oh ok thats fine no worries' . she then tried to draw me in by replying with ' aww i am so confused'.

    its been a couple days since he was ment to come round and weve meet a couple more times. she knows i like her and i think she likes me but she told me she just wants to get things sorted out with him first? i dont know who finished with who but am trying not to get involed or listen to her stories.

    ive tried going cold n go NC but she stills texts me first and quite a few times. she will flirt etc, and at the weekend she asked me round for drinks and then head uptown. so i brought some friends then we had a good night n went up town then ended up stayin at hers but again her friend was there so 3 of us slept in the same bed so nothing happened. we still havent kissed or anything? she said last night ' u can come round n stay but no kissing yet or sex' haha jokingly. DUDE THIS WAS AN INVITATION, SHE WANTED TO YOU TO TAKE CONTROL AND GO FOR IT guess i lost my balls and didnt make a move becoz she kept tellin me those things.

    so after that night we hung out again but again her friends were involved. when i got home we never contacted each other so the following morning i decided to shoot her this text ' you now ur wasting my time by fooking around with your ex so when u want to play with th big kids u can talk to me then'. Showed that you cared too much...This might have turned her off for good. The last thing she needs right now is another dude looking for a relationship. Hence sort things out.wanted to try get across th fact i wasnt going to sit around and wait. Havent heard back from her after that text but its only been a day.

    On that night out from the weeknd i opened up towards her and she opened up to but she said' just let me get things sorted with him first'.

    is it possible shes still got feelings for the ex and hes furking her around n pullin th strings?

    Should i just keep NC with her now? Dont know why but i have strong feelings for her. Have i been friendzoned now and its so late?

    thanks
    Overall I think you came off as slightly too needy. Especially with that last text. In fact, I think you played your cards really well up to that point. As I said before I think that joke about no kissing or sex was a direct invitation man, she was thinking about it. So you were good until then. I think the attraction is there but you need to step back and continue to push pull and show DHV. Keep this in mind this girl does NOT WANT A BOYFRIEND! She is more than likely going to respond well to a more casual fling. I think you telegraphed your feelings as wanting something serious. Go back to it and when she flirts with you k-close.

  3. #3
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Also, don't text her again right away. If she replies, tell us what she says/

  4. #4
    Adz91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    thanks for the reply . ok so i was thinkin about that text and after i sent it and got no reply i regretted it but i havent text her since..not sure if she will reply.

    yeah i can see what ur saying about not wanting another relationship right now, thats not really what i was lookg for yet eiher, future yes .

    i wont text her until she texts me again. this the bestplan from here?

    yeh will let you know if she replies, its not likei was nasty in the text or anything

  5. #5
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Yea wait another day. Then re-evaluate. Don't think it over right now. Go and make some approaches so you have even more confidence.

  6. #6
    Adz91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuser View Post
    Yea wait another day. Then re-evaluate. Don't think it over right now. Go and make some approaches so you have even more confidence.
    What if theres nothing after that? think i am over thinking coz we hit it off really well. can only see her comin back if things dont work out with th ex. think he finished it with her but she still has feelings.

    i've got a date set up for next week

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    If there is nothing from her, maybe reopen. But it better be good. because you kind of went AFC on her. lol

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Yea I agree with Fuser. That last text presented an ultimatum, which shows that you are outcome dependent.

    To not be put in the friend zone, this is what you do. When you are alone with her or with friends, touch her. Start slow, and just touch her arm and shoulder. Then move to putting your arm around her and grab her and hold her hand. That's probably all she is comfortable with for the time being. If you have the know how and experience, kiss her when you sense she is ready.

    Say this to kiss her, when she gives you IOIs. You: "Would you like to kiss me?" Her: "No" You calmly say "I didn't say I wanted you to, I just thought you had something on your mind".

    She probably won't say that. She will probably say either maybe, yes or even I'm not ready. Demonstrate that you are able to walk away and not push her. If she says yes or maybe, you say "Ok" then just go over and kiss her full on the lips, and no tongue.

    The reason guys get put in the friend zone, is because they are afraid to telegraph interest. Too show interest correctly, I like this analogy. When you go to the store to buy a TV, You have the money in your pocket to buy a new TV. But you are not sure which TV is RIGHT for you. You demonstrate that you have standards by using dis-qualifiers. A dis-qualifier is an awesome way too demonstrate to the woman, that you are not needy, and that you will walk away if she does not meet up to your standards.

    An example of a dis-qualifier would be, "Are you an adventurous woman? I prefer my woman to be adventurous and independent thinkers" If she jumps through this "Hoop" if you will, by saying "Oh yes I am I have done this and that and I am very adventurous, blah blah blah" Then you know she is into you. When she does this, DON'T jump on her and accept her. Let her chase you a bit.

    If she doesn't then you need to disqualify yourself, by saying you don't know if she is your type and then DHV.

    You could even think over whether or not, her being not completely over her ex as a disqualifier. Do you want someone so fresh from a break up and obviously still not over their ex? Think about that for a second.

  9. #9
    Adz91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Fuser,

    What kind of thing could i say to re open , could u give an example?

    The reason i sent that last text to her is becoz it was suggested by some1 else trying to get th point across that i wasnt going to sit around. Sounded good at the time.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Think i got friendzoned by this girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adz91 View Post
    Fuser,

    What kind of thing could i say to re open , could u give an example?

    The reason i sent that last text to her is becoz it was suggested by some1 else trying to get th point across that i wasnt going to sit around. Sounded good at the time.


    Well man you need to go to this person and slap him/her. They gave you the wrong advise. The right idea was there but the method in carrying out is wrong. She obviously will have feelings for this guy especially if he broke it off. Maybe try a bf destroyer, even though it is her ex, it will disqualify him. One thing I have learned from break ups is that no matter how bad you want it to work there was a reason it happened and that reason will always creep back up in the long run.

    Give this girl space, don't come across as needy and don't invest too much. If she doesn't respond in a day or so then reopen. When you reopen you need to act as though you forgot about the last message you sent her. Meaning don't bring it up but if she does bring it up then you need to show her you are man enough to talk about it but that you don't lose sleep over it. DHV as much as you can from now because you AFC'ed man

    When she invites you over or out for drinks don't just accept straight away. Say I've got something planned then suggest another time to meet up or say that you have plans but you have an hour or so to spare. If you do that make sure you only stay that hour then leave. You need to get this girl chasing you instead of you chasing her. Just be outrageous and fun because that is exactly what she needs coming out of a relationship

    Good luck man and keep us updated


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