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  • 2 Post By Blistex

Thread: Need help with opening, why am I afraid?

  1. #1
    The Annihilator is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Need help with opening, why am I afraid?

    How can i overcome my approach anxiety? I get really afraid when i think about opening though i know that nothing humiliating is gonna happen. Also, I study in university and need openers that really work in that environment. I really need help with some openers.

  2. #2
    icedude2010 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with opening, why am I afraid?

    Hey, I used to be really nervous approaching girls, and still sometimes get nervous. But what helps me is to have a little bit of a buzz (one or two beers type thing to raise your spirits a bit). Then just remember that there's literally nothing to lose, like if you're approaching someone and they shut you down, it's their loss. Plus you'll prolly never run into that person again.

    Have self confidence-- not just in your looks, it helps to look good and feel confident in your looks, but be confident in your personality, your sense of humor, who you are, etc. If I feel good about myself (which I do) and I approach someone and they reject me, then I assume I wouldn't have liked them anyway.

    It can help to just think positively but not to dwell on it too much mentally. As far as openers, there are several on this site that would work for you, you'll just have to find one that suits you!

    Best of luck!

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with opening, why am I afraid?

    One thing I have noticed in the last year, that I have not really seen much of on this site, is my personal philosophy.

    Why do you want to approach and meet women?

    To have fun of course. Be it getting emotionally fulfilled, validation, sex, regardless it is all fun and it all makes you happy.

    It is a lot of work to get the attitude firmly set in your mind, but take the attitude that this is all for you to have fun. When I approach, get numbers, escalate in any way, I am having a good time doing it. That is all.

    Just remember, the whole reason you are doing any of this is just to have more fun, so don't worry about the outcome. You will get your fair share of lays and more than your fair share of rejections. JUST HAVE FUN and enjoy going out doing pickup, don't put quite so much weight on how you did or what you did wrong. Your answers will come to you in time. Just enjoy the moment and what opportunities it may hold. To sum it up....

    Enjoy yourself man, have fun that is the whole point of any of this. Rejected or accepted, it's all about having a good time.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need help with opening, why am I afraid?

    That is some good advise. I also get AA badly and I've been reading up on methods to get rid of it, which I will be trying myself. One way the toughest but is said to bring the best results. Just go out and approach as many people as possible. They don't all have to be HB's and in fact they don't all have to be women. Set a target for yourself, such as the next time you go out make it your mission to approach 10 people. You could also take a friend with and make a bet with him. Be it money, a valuable possession, something you don't want to lose, then tell him that if you don't approach 10 women that night then what ever the item is he gets to keep it. Could work as a great motivator to go out and approach. Even if you crash and burn on every approach, eventually you will notice your AA will start disappearing

  5. #5
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with opening, why am I afraid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blistex View Post
    One thing I have noticed in the last year, that I have not really seen much of on this site, is my personal philosophy.

    Why do you want to approach and meet women?

    To have fun of course. Be it getting emotionally fulfilled, validation, sex, regardless it is all fun and it all makes you happy.

    It is a lot of work to get the attitude firmly set in your mind, but take the attitude that this is all for you to have fun. When I approach, get numbers, escalate in any way, I am having a good time doing it. That is all.

    Just remember, the whole reason you are doing any of this is just to have more fun, so don't worry about the outcome. You will get your fair share of lays and more than your fair share of rejections. JUST HAVE FUN and enjoy going out doing pickup, don't put quite so much weight on how you did or what you did wrong. Your answers will come to you in time. Just enjoy the moment and what opportunities it may hold. To sum it up....

    Enjoy yourself man, have fun that is the whole point of any of this. Rejected or accepted, it's all about having a good time.
    Quoting this for emphasis. Hell ya dude! Live in the moment man, make that your one and only goal. That means shutting off your mind and being completely present. If you can fully embrace the moment you will never have to worry about rejection because that's for the future. And if you do get rejected that's in the past. Easier said than done, but see how awesome that attitude is? Meditation can help you learn to shut off your mind. Try it sometime.

    Girls intrinsically live in the moment, that's why they're at the whim of their emotions. They don't overthink things. if it feels right they'll do it. They hate guys who are goal oriented and its easy for them to spot. They love guys who live in the moment. And hey don't just live in the moment cus you wanna get laid... that would be counterproductive. We can reflect on the past and plan for the future, but life will always happen in the NOW. If you don't want life to pass you by you gotta live in the now. Enjoy the ride dudes.

    Blistex I feel like we have the same philosophy and I agree I don't see nearly enough of it on here. It's a shame cus it's a whole life philosophy not just a get laid philosophy, funnily enough it seems to work for both. Good stuff though man glad to see others feel the same way.


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