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  • 3 Post By Anuks
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Thread: I keep striking out.

  1. #1
    CarlosBoid is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I keep striking out.

    Ok in the last year i have dated 4 girls. I have struck out on 3 of them and I'm currently striking out on the fourth. That is why I'm here, I'm tired of only getting tail once in a blue moon.

    This is what is going on. I have been seeing this girl for the last 3 weeks. We have really only had about 3 dates. For the last date we watched a movie at her apartment. We watched it in her bed but only because she doesn't have a couch, and she made sure we used it like a couch too... So i was all exited about this date because it was finally my opportunity to k-close her. Of course I got all excited about this and blew it up in my mind since I'm a chump.Once the movie was done I went for it and she was waiting for it! We kissed for a while and I felt no spark or passion which was weird and unattractive(for both of us I assume). So we stop and talk a bit. She brings something negative about her looks and I respond like a dumb ass "I think you are beautiful." She gets upset and says she does't like compliments, and that I barely know her. I open my fat mouth again by saying that i meant physically (which i think was the wrong thing to say).We start talking about other things again and she brings up past guys she has dated that all have been losers and then compares me to one... Then we change the subject again and I notice shes keeps on looking down at my lips so I take this as "oh she wants to kiss me." So I roll her on her back and make out a little. When we are done she gets up and says it's time for u to go. So i head for the door collect my stuff and then go in for the kiss goodbye. She makes sure its only a quick kiss and then patted me on my lower back and said "ok" (which to me felt like a get the hell out). I then said good way to make things awkward and then imitated her by patting her back. She kind gave of a self conscious laugh and I left.

    Ok so since then i txted her once "just used the word faux pas in a convo!" (a word she taught me the night we kissed). She responds 19min later with "congratulations ! Ill make an english major out of you yet!" to which i replied 15 min later "and I dont have to pay 8k a semester!" to which she has given no response.

    It now has been two days since the date and one day since the txt. I know there is probably no hope of recovering from this so at the moment I'm thinking fark it and will try anything to see what results i get and then start with a new girl until I get better at this.

    Any advice how I could recover? And advice on what I did wrong and why? What could I have done differently?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Anuks's Avatar
    Anuks is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I keep striking out.

    Actually it doesn't sound that bad to me. I am seeing a girl right now and she barely ever texts me. The only thing I think is wrong is your lack of confidence. She obviously likes you and you don't even notice it. For example, she said something negative about her looks. That generally means that she is trying to qualify herself to you. And that is a good sign. Also she invited you over to her place. Again another big sign. And this kiss close? Well you got a kiss close man!!

    It sounds like you are outcome dependent. Meaning, unless you have sex you strike out. Well, the way to get good with woman is experience and tonnes of it! And be outcome independent until you sleep with them.

    You've dated 4 girls in the last year?? Sounds like you are doing way better than you think you are.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I keep striking out.

    Anuks is right.

    Value the progress u are making and keep improving. Dont get so hung up on failed experiences. Each one is training to get better. And maybe u are being to harsh on yourself. I mean u kissed and there was no passion??? Who's fault is that? Its your job to make sure its there lol.

    To build passion in kissing, do alot of foreplay before the actual kissing. Smell her hair, kiss her cheek softly, rub her neck without kissing. Women like that stuff and it makes it look like your still unsure if u like her.

    Oh and when she calls herself unattractive... say well at least your a good cook (or something). U kind of agree with her statement but follow it up with some physical touch that hints at attraction. Mixed signal is always good.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #4
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    Default Re: I keep striking out.

    I agree with these guys about the confidence. But I also think we it is about you being comfortable getting sexual with a woman. It's common since it's been a while for you so you may be out of practice. Have in your mind to never apologize for being a man with needs. That sex is common and natural and not taboo.

    I think you could've done better with this woman, but you could have also done much much worse. You are progressing and don't think there's anything majorly wrong with what you did. Keep learning and pushing my friend.

    P.S. A little tip. Don't let it get to date 3 before you kiss her. Have a goal that you will kiss the first date or definitely on the 2nd.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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