Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 44
Like Tree61Likes

Thread: RB - Frame control

  1. #21
    The Elitist's Avatar
    The Elitist is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,324, Level: 20
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 76
    Overall activity: 12.0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Augusta, GA
    Posts
    252
    Points
    1,324
    Level
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    71

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Yo rb! I only read like half this so far and i already want to say thank you! Lol.

    Edit: just read the rest and i was looking for a dummy proof article on frame control cuz i didnt quite get it, but now i understand.

  2. #22
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    All gravy suave

    To you and everyone else giving me props for this, huge thank you to all of you, total ego boost, and the validation I tell you not to rely on other people for ;-)

    Cire - the idea behind frame control -
    Imagine you're looking at a painting, its in a frame. now imagine every set you walk in to as a certain painting in a frame. Someone controls that frame. Someone controls the underlying assumptions about the conversation at any given point. The things we don't talk about but accept naturally.

    Let me give you a non-pickup example. I was at work earlier, my neighbor has a tendancy to start almost yelling on the phone (its friendly, she just talks loud, you can hear her 5 cubes away and she sits next to me). I went over and asked her to chill it down a bit. She coulda been a bitch about it and said no, i'll be done in a minut, or otherwise challenged my request (and introduced a new frame), but my frame was that there are certain customs and norms to be respectful of other people that she was violating. She accepted immediately and apologized.

    There was no struggle of the frames during the discussion, but my friend told me he always admired that ability to speak out, because he would never say anything to her. It took confidence to confront that (even tho it was minor), that confidence comes down to frame control.

    Frame control is also about being alpha and leading a group at any given time. You don't always need to be the one who's talking, or introducing the topic to talk about, but its about being in a position where no one can successfully challenge you, or if they do, you win or dismiss the challenge somehow.

    Others try to take the frame from you by teasing you, challenging you, AMOGING, trying to take over the conversation, etc. If you try to defend yourself, you accept their leadership of the group. If you're really leading and confident, you don't need to defend yourself.

    Suppose someone else comes in and tries to interrupt with a new topic. If you really are leading the frame, they will ignore it and stay on your topic. If they change the topic and engage the new person, you've lost the frame.

    Did you read the frame control part 2 post? I linked it in one of the comments earlier today, it might clarify a little bit more as well
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #23
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 7,026, Level: 55
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 124
    Overall activity: 17.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    873
    Points
    7,026
    Level
    55
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    332

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Quote Originally Posted by cire113 View Post
    I'm still really confused as to what frame is..


    IS it basically just being calm and cool and collected? When they try to break your confidence you react by laughing joking or diverting?

    they are trying to bring you down?


    Or frame means you do what you want and talk about what u want?

    just really confused
    Imagine a picture that is Framed. It is of you. You are standing tall, dressed great, looking young, 10 pounds lighter, riding a horse or something... looking ALPHA. People look at this pic and say, "Whoa! This guy is rugged, cool..." or whatever.

    The picture is giving off strong ALPHA vibes.

    This is your frame... you ARE a strong man's man. The picture speaks for itself.

    Now a woman comes by. She starts saying, "who does he think he is?" Look at that... riding a horse. He's never ridden a horse in his life! And look at the lighting... its not good. And the color... blech! And lets not start with how much he REALLY weighs. "

    People start to see what she's saying and that it makes sense to them. They now dont think of the man in the painting as ALPHA.

    That woman has stolen your frame. She has changed the meaning of the picture. The same picture is there, it did not change. But because of her attitude, people's perception of it has changed. It no longer depicts what it did 5 minutes ago.

    Now the point... when you are out displaying Alpha qualities, and keep doing well... you are giving people a picture of yourself being ALPHA.

    Women will test the image you have set up by questioning anything they perceive you may be hiding, sensitive about etc. Once you let them do this... you now take on a defensive stance, trying to defend the ALPHA image you started with. Its sort of like an arguement and playing defense in an arguement is NEVER a great position to be in.

    What defending does is it basically proves to them that the image you gave was not what it appeared to be (after all, why would you get defensive unless you have something to hide?). As in the illustration, the picture (you) is the same ... you are ALPHA... but the reaction you gave has changed their perception. All thats prominent now is that you are not all that your cracked up to be.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #24
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 7,026, Level: 55
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 124
    Overall activity: 17.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    873
    Points
    7,026
    Level
    55
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    332

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    RB Dude! You stole my post man lolololol!

    Crazy!!!

    Edit: Actually, they're not too similar. Sorry!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  5. #25
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    RB Dude! You stole my post man lolololol!

    Crazy!!!

    Edit: Actually, they're not too similar. Sorry!

    LOL, beat ya to it man! Good post too! hopefully everyone should have no doubt what frame control is or what it entails by now.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  6. #26
    cire113 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 279, Level: 5
    Level completed: 58%, Points required for next Level: 21
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    47
    Points
    279
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Great guys now i know exactly what your talking about..

    So how do you naturally not defend when people challenge you? this is difficult but makes sense totally..

    People always bring up new topics and my topics get buried with ppl i just met; pfftt

    I wish I knew how to control and dominate like u guys speak

  7. #27
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 7,026, Level: 55
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 124
    Overall activity: 17.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    873
    Points
    7,026
    Level
    55
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    332

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Had a situation that relates to frame control. Its interesting because i think the best solution is to do nothing in order to keep my frame.

    Let me explain... HB8 has an HB2 friend. I have an AFC friend. HB2 tells us that HB8 thinks im a jerk and AFC is fascinating. I have no problem being the jerk. I know its better than being friendzoned like the AFC. The reason i am considered the jerk is because i call out HB8's behavior (and she resents that). I know i am as fascinating and smart as my friend, its just that the HB8 doesnt earn any good behavior from me.

    I was thinking that making this fact known to HB8 would help but then realized that simply continuing the way i act speaks more powerfully. The HB2 knows that i call out HB8 so as david d says, "do not tell women why u dont pay attention to them. Or else You destroy the effect."

    Of course if HB8 confronts me directly, i will tell her that she must behave herself better lol
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #28
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Yea I would definitely not react to that

    Like I said, you should never have to explain yourself, otherwise that's accepting her frame

    I would have responded like "well maybe she should clean up her act" or whatever

    But yea, keep doing what you're doing. Maybe you are being a bit harsh I don't know, but keep your frame regardless
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  9. #29
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 7,026, Level: 55
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 124
    Overall activity: 17.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    873
    Points
    7,026
    Level
    55
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    332

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    Actually i told HB2 that HB8 is very intelligent but very immature. Intelligence does not equal maturity. And i have said this directly to HB8 anyway lol. So maybe i am harsh haha
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  10. #30
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 14,800, Level: 78
    Level completed: 88%, Points required for next Level: 50
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    west virginia
    Posts
    1,667
    Points
    14,800
    Level
    78
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 20 Times in 17 Posts
    Rep Power
    685

    Default Re: RB - Frame control

    @ lockdown if she calls you a jerk, be honest, something like "yeah i know i'm a jerk you don't have to remind me to try and make me feel special or something..." will leave her powerless and keep the ball in your court. act like she is trying to win your affection, and you could care less about her because she hasn't earned it yet.


Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Inner frame
    By acepace in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 11-13-2012, 01:40 AM
  2. Need some help with re-frame
    By Hotel Yorba in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 10-19-2012, 03:55 PM
  3. Trapped In a Frame
    By Bandit in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Thread: 07-03-2012, 05:46 AM
  4. Frame change help
    By tapatio97 in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-29-2012, 02:47 PM
  5. Inner Game & Frame Control
    By savoy in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 09-19-2011, 09:40 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com