One thing I’ve pulled together from years of gaming, is that game fundamentally comes down to frame control.
Frame control is about leading the interaction, whose in control of the set at a given time. If you stay in control you can get away with anything.
Think of it like this, A girl asks you your age, you answer, she asks what you do, you answer. She’s leading.
A girl asks your age, you tell her to guess (make her jump through your hoop first). If she says no, now you’ve got a battle of the frames. If she guesses, you’ve taken the frame back. You can reward her by telling her at that point.
Lets give a good friend zone example – girl says I just want to be friends. Right now, she introduced the frame and she controls it. You can say, sure that’s cool, (you accept her frame). You can say, no I don’t want to just be friends (again – you accepted her frame, you’re working in her world view and fighting it). Or you can change the nature discussion all together, “we are friends, but friends don’t put each other in boxes”. Here you changed the discussion, she wanted rules, she wanted it to be A or B, and you disregarded her rules entirely. You introduced a new frame to the discussion, generally she will accept it.
Once you know your value 100%, this becomes natural. You stop appealing and supplicating to everyone else. Frame control is about being alpha. That doesn’t mean you have to be mean, it just means you’re in control.
I’ll give another example – just last night I was out with some Minneapolis friends. As I was leaving a bar this girl stopped me, “Hey, you need to tell us how old you are”. I could answer directly, I’m 27. No, instead this was an odd question, and they picked me to ask.
So I turned, “ok you’re going to have to give me some back story first”. Turns out they had a bet going on, (I tend to stand out a little bit), and there was literally money on the table. “RB - Ok, so what did everyone guess?” HB 8.5 – “Noooo!! You have to just tell us then we’ll tell you, give me your ID, I need to see your ID”
Here – we have a battle of frames. She wants to be in control, if I let her, I’m beta. My chance of getting with her would go down to 0. A confident girl like that knows how to lead an interaction and likes to be in control, she will only respect you if you can hold your own. If you accept her frame, you supplicate and lose.
RB – “No that easy, you’ve got money on the table here so you have to tell me what you’re thinking”
HB – “You’re just throwing us off, I mean the hat (beret) and your candy cane (Its holiday time I had a candy cane I was sucking on, turned out to be fun little peacock at the bars)…. We just cant figure you out!
RB – “Wait wait, so the candy cane is too much for you? Where’s your holiday spirit guys?”
And the conversation continues. Note that I stayed in control of the interaction. Eventually, I let them see my ID, because they complied with my tests. It was a mixed set, 2 guys, 2 girls, they were all actually pretty cool, had a lot of fun in that conversation.
A lot of what we take away from indirect game, like mystery method / style life, comes down to tricks we can use to stay in control. It’s meant to reprogram us from the guys who go up to a girl and say, hey – you’re hot. When you do, she’s got you pegged like every other guy hitting on her, and you’re accepting her frame by playing that role. You want to be someone different who can stay in control. You go in with an opinion opener, if she rejects your opener entirely, shes rejected your frame. If you open naturally however and they become responsive, you’re coming up as a genuinely social and confident guy.
Eventually tho, once you master frame control, you can get away with that. That’s when you start going more direct. You can walk in to a set and say you girls are just too pretty not to talk to (although this is still not always the best option). Only once your frame is strong. Direct game works because its focused on inner game first. You walk in knowing your value. If you have any doubt that you’re the shit, you’re gonna lose. You’re going to get shut out.
Hot girls are going to shit test you. Giving disqualifiers, giving them hooks, running proper IODs, etc, are all meant to help you control the frame.
So where do you start? Master inner game. First – body language. Your body language must imbue confidence (http://www.puaforums.com/how-flirt/1...html#post71940). Your body language should not betray any insecurities. You need to stay alpha all the time.
The rest of it I think comes hand in hand with the rest of your game. As your game gets stronger and better, you’ll begin to wonder why you ever doubted yourself to begin with.
Just remember, you’re the prize, not her. There are hundreds of girls out on any given night, if she’s a bitch, move on to the next one because she’s not worth your time.
This is a small post about inner confidence I put up a while ago, related to all of this
Good luck everyone, I hope this will help you on your path to stronger frame control