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  • 1 Post By ryuzaki21
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Thread: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

  1. #1
    ctc0201 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    Sorry for the long post/story, just not sure where to go from here.

    So I met this girl at the bar last weekend. We talked for a while, she seemed really interested in me. Put her number in my phone (I didn't ask), told me that we would hang out soon. Text her later on the next evening to establish contact. She texts me the following day and invites me to go out with her and her friends to the bar (This was Tuesday). Good start I suppose? Anyways, her friends end up leaving and she stays with me for the rest of the night at the bar. We have a great time. Lots of playful touching, dancing, and flirting. I end up going back to her place, we make out a bit and I end up leaving (She didn't want to escalate past kissing and had to work early the next morning).

    Continue texting a bit, but I try not to text every day and look needy (Is this a mistake?). Sent her a text yesterday with no response (It was just a "Hey, whats up? text, so maybe it was just too boring), and haven't heard since. I figured I would give it a day or two before trying again, but I am new at this and don't know how to proceed from here. We are friends on FB and she is updating statuses etc, so I just don't know if I am being ignored, or she is playing hard to get, or just isn't interested. It is a holiday week/weekend and she told me she was going away, so that could also be the case. Just confused, but at the same time, I don't want to look like I am not interested and have her lose interest in me (if she hasn't already)

    Also, I want to ask her on a real date (without alcohol involved), should my next text just try to initiate that or should I try to make conversation instead first. I don't want to do something stupid and miss out on this, I like this girl quite a bit (similar interests, beliefs etc). I also don't want to be friend zoned. Thanks

  2. #2
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    If you would like to gauge interest then the rules for texting are that you shouldn't send across texts like "hey, what's up" or "how r u doing" or whatever since there isn't any proper way that you could respond to something of that sort and it also makes for a very hackneyed conversation.

    Show her that you're an interesting bloke and . Hence your texts should be interesting, funny or intriguing too and the rule of thumb is to send in an awesome text that doesn't necessarily warrant a response or simply jump right into the crux of the conversation . It's all about the emotional state that she is in. You have to send a text that hooks her back to the emotional state and makes her think about you.

    Just because she doesn't get back to you does not mean that she is NOT INTERESTED....she may be busy, out or whatever. Regardless, give it a week or so. Call her and ask her out. That would show that you're a confident guy and more importantly you would get an immediate response.

  3. #3
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    If you would like to gauge interest then the rules for texting are that you shouldn't send across texts like "hey, what's up" or "how r u doing" or whatever since there isn't any proper way that you could respond to something of that sort and it also makes for a very hackneyed conversation.

    The texts you should be interesting, funny or intriguing too and the rule of thumb is to send in an awesome text that doesn't necessarily warrant a response and ideally you should jump right into the crux of the conversation...send her a joke, a subtle flirty text but something that doesn't necessarily warrant a response or sound needy .They should convey your personality and get her thinking about you. It's all about the emotional state that she is in. You have to send a text that hooks her back to the 'specific' emotional state of attraction and makes her think about you. like say

    1)"I just saw someone that reminded me of you. Hope you ain't stalking me, girl!!!"

    2)An opinion that connects her to the sort of work she does
    -I never use this generally but a situational opener works too

    3)Something that you can send immediately after you make out - "I found a place that you can take me too"

    4)"You know I can tell you're a naughty girl. You always have this mischievous twinkle in your eyes.'





    Just because she doesn't get back to you does not mean that she is NOT INTERESTED....she may be busy, out or whatever. Regardless, give it a week or so. Call her and ask her out. That would show that you're a confident guy and more importantly you would get an immediate response.

  4. #4
    sosa is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    from what you wrote it sounds like she the one dominating the relationship so far. any ideas on how to fix this anyone?

  5. #5
    ctc0201 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    So I figured I would update this thread. I ended up asking her if she wanted to go to the Bar last night (Its a college town), in which she replied "Hell Yeah!". So I ended up going down there with her and her friends and had a great time. Once again, lots of Kino (Had my arm around her frequently as well as dancing). Also took some pictures together, had some IOIs (She even bought me a couple drinks because she remembered me buying some of her's last time). I think the comfort is there, because she has been letting me in on her and her friends inside jokes. Ended up walking her home again, to which she said "goodnight, text me!" Try to text her today with one of the flirtier text's in the texting thread, and she avoided it, but I ended up talking to her later on tonight. Am I just getting to that point where I need to straight up ask her what she is looking for (if anything?) I haven't asked her on a "formal" date, but if she avoided the flirty text that I sent, then I figure it might not be a good idea. Does this sound like a LJBF relationship?

  6. #6
    ryuzaki21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    Disengage for a bit. You're making it too apparent that you're interested. There is no fun in that and eventually you might just end up killing whatever attraction she might have had for you.

    When you come across a situation where your hanging out with her friends...do not give her too much attention. Instead flirt with her peers and observe her reaction. It's the best way to know if she is into you or not. Women are driven by their emotions....The idea is to tilt the balance of power in your favor and get her chasing you.Take charge of the situation since it sounds to me that this is like being a dog on a leash.

  7. #7
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    she calls, you come running, she calls, you come running (there's a pattern)

    don't get me wrong if you like just making out with a chick keep at it, but you're going to want to show her you're not a pushover, sure we all like to make out with this one chick from time to time, but if you want anything more, take charge, you set the date and time, don't give her a choice (if you do you have to do it in an abstract way which is fun) they respond well to this a man taking charge (y)

  8. #8
    ctc0201 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Playing hard to get or just not interested?

    Thanks for the advice guys. I'm going to lay low for a bit, or at least until I run into her Friday night when I'm at the party.


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