Okay, I have a MASSIVE problem. Been suffering from HUGE depression since around July. 1 of those situations where all goes wrong at once, where you feel helpless and just wish something nice would happen. In late August that nice thing happened. I was at a wrestling show and on this show was a ring girl, the moment I laid eyes on her I was hypnotized, I turned to my female friend and said "that's the sexiest girl I've EVER seen". I meant what I said and I still mean it now. I found out later that night that she is also a lapdancer and would be working at the after party. So off I went, got my lapdance and left a bit happier, cheap thrill I know. I don't usually do lapdances as I think they make a man lazy but in this case I really had to. When it was over I asked her how often she dances at this club and she said the last Saturday of every month.
The next day I couldn't get her off my mind, found some pics on Facebook and showed a few friends, they too were amazed by her. since then my life got worse and worse but I still had this girl on my mind, Victoria is her name btw. Me and 1 of my mates decided that we'd go and see her on the last Saturday of that month and both bring £100 each to spoil her, it's something we both enjoy, spoiling girls, but he ended up pulling out on me so I went alone. I got another dance from her and spent the full £100 on her which she loved, we had a good chat about the wrestling show I'd first saw her on and got along well, of course it was my money she really was after but still I enjoyed it, at the end I asked her to add me on Facebook then off I went. 2 days later I got the friend request from her on Facebook, I accepted it and messaged her asking when shed next be dancing, she told me it would be the following Friday in another club so I told her I'd be there. I had no plans on trying to pull her I just wanted to spoil her. But the next day she messaged to tell me the club had shut down and now she would be out of work. I decided that she made my heart race whether she danced for me or not so I offered to give her the £200 I was planning to spend that Friday anyway.
To cut a long story short she liked this idea and gave me her number. We texted a bit and she invited me out for a drink. Sadly I couldn't make it but offered to take her out for a drink/meal at the Hilton Hotel the next day. She complained that she couldn't go because she was driving and couldn't drink so I came up with the idea that we could also stay at the hotel and make a night of it and be spoiled rotten and that I'd behave and not ask her for sex. Low and behold she accepted but we had to wait another 2 weeks for it.
Eventually it happened, we had a great night, she even told me she was attracted to me but was confused about what she wanted, I spent a ton of cash on making her feel like a princess and when we went to bed we cuddled all night, she did infact offer me sex in a round about way but she was drunk and I didn't wanna take advantage. Now here's the problem, when I got home the next day I realised I now had proper feelings for this girl. I'm a selfish guy when it comes to girls, I'm not interested in relationships or love I just want sex but with Victoria it was different. I'd never felt this way EVER!
2 days later I told her that I too was confused about my feelings now but she didn't like the sound of this and thought I was pressuring her, we agreed to take things as they came. The following week I asked her out for a drink but she was too busy, I then remembered how much she likes being spoiled so I went for broke and asked her to spend the weekend with me at another 5 star hotel, she told me she would but only as a friend. Bummer! I just told her that we were friends and that if she needed me I'd be there.
After that I didn't contact her which made her contact me and asked me if I wanted to go out again, I offered to take her on a big night out again and do the hotel thing and she accepted so we did. Now I must point out that she'd asked me to help her with her bills/rent a few times since we met and I had and on this night she asked again so I said I would. During the night she spotted a guy and left me to dance with him, I was furious! She knew it too but I decided not to confront her in public so I did it the next morning.
Basically I told her how disrespectful shed been to me by dancing with another guy when I was spoiling her rotten and told her what is obvious, that she was clearly using me for my money. She went BALLISTIC and told me never to talk to her again and delete her number. I then felt guilty that I'd accused her even though I know I'm right, what if in her mind she's inncoent? Eventually we talked on the phone and she told me she wasn't attracted to me and that I wasn't her type at all which contradicted what she'd said to me in the past as she'd told me she IS attracted to me but didn't want a boyfriend on at least 4 occasions to which I asked her why she'd said that and she just said she was trying to be polite! She also said she'd never share a hotel with me again as she thought it was giving me the wrong impression AND cause she was seeing someone else. But she still wanted me to help her with her bills, to which I refused and we fell out again. I then told her what I had planned to do with her next, a big spoil which would include a present she really wants, this made her want to be friends again and we are now talking again.
Now, I know I should just move on as she's a using bitch that doesnt care about me whatsoever but I just cannot let her go, I want her BAD! She wants my money and the life I give her BAD! I've broken all the laws of PUA as I never set out to make her mine but now she's ALL I want. If I walk away I know it wont take long for her to get back in touch either sucking up for cash help or another night out plus she wants her present which is a very expensive pair of shoes. I feel trapped because if I walk away she'll find a way back in and if I don't I'll only get hurt.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?