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  • 1 Post By bmr_id
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Thread: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

  1. #1
    Vicodin24's Avatar
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    Unhappy Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    Lately, I've been enjoying stepping out of my comfort zone and interacting with a lot of different women and n-closing, but there's always one that stands out and I think I'm catching feelings (or will shortly) and it's messing a lot with my inner game, I guess.

    Met her a few months ago and got cockblocked (the phrase was, "Oh, is he seducing you, too?") by a girl who got jealous (never tried gaming her). I got her name, but that was it. Hung out in a group with her a few weeks ago, but didn't recognize her. Played it off well. Kind of had a fresh start.

    We were in the same area around campus for a few hours a couple of days ago, but I pretended I didn't notice her and all. N-closed that day. Waited until today to text her, met up for lunch. Noticed a lot of IOIs, but kept it down on the kino (random high fives and a hug goodbye) because, well, I'm not sure. I'm probably focused too much on impressing her (she's applying to med school, whereas I dropped the premed stuff for the NYPD) because I'm actually interested, and that's not cool. I tried DHVing a bit with some EMT stories, which wasn't bad at all. I'm not at my best around her, but I'm not bad, either.

    Texted her a bit, and came off sounding like a fool. This happens when I'm really into someone. I prefer face to face in situations like this. I already have her on a pedestal in my mind, so I'm not really sure how to knock her down.

    Also, here's some of the text convo:

    Me - Hey =]
    Her - Hey just got home. What's up?
    Me - Typical school night. How's the party without you?
    Her - I don't know but I wish I was there
    Me - Probably not a party without you =p If you're feeling like a badass, show up and demand cake.
    Her - Lol
    Me - What are you up to?


    Could have said most of it differently, but this is how bad my text game gets when I'm...whatever the hell this is lol.

    Any ideas, thoughts, etc? Thanks!

  2. #2
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  3. #3
    bmr_id's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    texting should be like a story for her something that amuses her, not a police report

  4. #4
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    There is a reason why policemen hate writing reports...they are boring!!! Reading them is probably just as bad.

    Kudos bmr_id

    Your texting is bland and logical, you want exciting and emotional!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    Kind of hard to work out much from such a small snippit of text convo. Its not bad man. You didnt say anything foolish really.

    I think perhaps you're just loosing confidence in your head and so maybe a little afraid to add spice and be dramatic. You gotta be fearless and take risks even with girls you start falling for.

    Easy ways to solve it
    - date more than one women, as soon as you get onitis, use another girl to take the heat off - plus texting other girls might give you some good lines and banter to copy over to her. Say what you say to other lesser girls to her so your not overthinking things. You can use other girls to test lines or reactions to see what role playing, humor and banter generally works.
    - you can be a little vain with women. Instead of asking her a question of how she is, say what interesting things you are up to. Frame it so she is asking you the questions.
    - Focus on emotional conversations that inspire dreams, philosphy, compatibility, humor etc. Get her laughing. When you write something be brave and ascert the humor. Whats up? 'typical school night, read 340 books, drank 600 cups of coffee, jogged 30km as a study break, caught up with several friends at pubs to gain critique on my report, ended up at a nightclub - they asked me to guest DJ for a set, now I'm back home on the bear rug in front of a log fire with a hot chocolate - you know I'm fairly quiet guy haha'. What's up? 'Wait let me look....wow....I see a rainbow of stars across the milky way, hey Ive got a rug and bottle of wine, come and join me outside on my roof and we can make wishes as shooting stars wizz by above us! haha'.

    Be entertaining, exciting, stimulating and dramatic whilst subliminally showing off your virtues and high values.

  6. #6
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    Dude,

    Read up on these forums!!!! I peronally believe txting should only be used to build a little report and then to plant a meet up!!!!

    You have to win a girl IN PERSON. Tons of guys txts girls and girls will carry on txt condos cause they like the attention and it makes them feel wanted/important. Your txts werent at all bad but they didn't do anything for you. Don't listen to the first two comments on your post. Its impossible for them to decipher such a short txt convo, and come to a conclusion that it hurt your chances with her. Thats BS...

    Let me ask you this; "what were you trying to get from her by initiating that txt?? (what was your objective?).... Was there a party that night that you wanted to get her out to? Were you trying to set up a lunch date? My point is,you hand no "OBJECTIVE" . You were just txting her cause you like her, and you were thinking about her so you needed a connection with her and you txtd her. Stop doing that! TXT a girl only when you have an objective. BUild a little report with her if you want but not much, Do it in person. most importantly only use txt to plan meet ups... Some people on here will disagree. This is for pickup, relationships are different though, just keep that in mind

    Oh ya, and lastly try to have sex with her before your 2nd or 3rd date. First date is even better. Then faster you move with her, the more she'll like you. SOunds weird, but its true.


    Damn, I haven't posted on here for a while. Sometimes all this info from so many different directions can screw your head up and make fuck things up with girls. So its always good for a little break...haha

    CHeers boys

  7. #7
    Vicodin24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Losing Confidence With One Girl - Help?

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Kind of hard to work out much from such a small snippit of text convo. Its not bad man. You didnt say anything foolish really.

    I think perhaps you're just loosing confidence in your head and so maybe a little afraid to add spice and be dramatic. You gotta be fearless and take risks even with girls you start falling for.

    Easy ways to solve it
    - date more than one women, as soon as you get onitis, use another girl to take the heat off - plus texting other girls might give you some good lines and banter to copy over to her. Say what you say to other lesser girls to her so your not overthinking things. You can use other girls to test lines or reactions to see what role playing, humor and banter generally works.
    - you can be a little vain with women. Instead of asking her a question of how she is, say what interesting things you are up to. Frame it so she is asking you the questions.
    - Focus on emotional conversations that inspire dreams, philosphy, compatibility, humor etc. Get her laughing. When you write something be brave and ascert the humor. Whats up? 'typical school night, read 340 books, drank 600 cups of coffee, jogged 30km as a study break, caught up with several friends at pubs to gain critique on my report, ended up at a nightclub - they asked me to guest DJ for a set, now I'm back home on the bear rug in front of a log fire with a hot chocolate - you know I'm fairly quiet guy haha'. What's up? 'Wait let me look....wow....I see a rainbow of stars across the milky way, hey Ive got a rug and bottle of wine, come and join me outside on my roof and we can make wishes as shooting stars wizz by above us! haha'.

    Be entertaining, exciting, stimulating and dramatic whilst subliminally showing off your virtues and high values.
    I usually send texts like that, except I'm not feeling confident enough with her to send anything like that yet. She stopped replying after I felt like I was kinda getting some confidence back. This was Friday night. Don't wanna seem needy, so I haven't texted her. I'm working on others in the meantime, though. I think I'm gonna get oneitis or something about this one, though. Not gonna lie, I'm a bit intimidated haha.

    I'm gonna skip texting unless it's only to meet up, which should be fine since we're around campus at similar times. I'm much better with her in person...gonna get some light flirting done with kino and hopefully she'll reciprocate.


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