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  • 1 Post By cnose

Thread: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me again

  1. #1
    cmcniff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me again

    OK here's the Story.

    Basically from June - August, I dated this girl, who was really really into me, wanted a relationship out of it, however two months prior I was just out of a 3 year relationship. It didn't end badly between this current girl and me we just left it at that because she thought I wasn't taking it seriously which is true as my head was all over the place.

    So at Halloween, I noticed she was in a relationship with some guy which is fair enough not my problem. But to weeks later I seen her out after two months after no contact, and realised what a mistake I had made. We didn't speak that night but it initiated us texting again.

    I basically from then proclaimed what a mistake I had made being an idiot, not taking her seriously and completely opened up to her about my feelings about her, how much I liked her and she was shocked. She said "I cannot believe your telling me this now, if you told me all this two months ago I would turn the clocks back, I didn't know you felt like this"

    Now the next day after seeing her out I asked her to meet up, but she wouldn't as she said she had a boyfriend, and me texting her put her head all over the place, because she still has feelings for me but she can't do anything now she has a boyfriend etc.

    Now we have text everyday since, and in last two weeks, she flirts everyday, talks about when we had sex and even said right now there is sexual tension between us, and she said the more she thinks the more she hates and regrets that she ended it so to speak. She said she likes my and comments on how she likes my fb photos im hot etc. Not only that but we know we get on really well together. Also she says she thinks about me every day, but NEVER EVER has mentioned anything about her boyfriend since like when she just said she had one that was it.

    Also she tells me, she tells me more than she does to her friends, again not mentioning her BF once. I also pretended I was in the uni library, and she said was I because she said it would be nice to see me the other day. Also she said recently we have got alot closer since I have opened up to her.

    Basically I think, she is afraid to break up with him because I know genuinely she really, really does like me, and its we be texting as when we were seeing before, and as she says she really appreciates i do care for her?

    What's my next move? Issue an ultimatum? Keep being friends? As I have been afraid to ask to meet up again casually in case of rejection, and I had fallen for this girl since we met each other on that night out.

    Cheers for all the advice

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    seeing as you dumped this in a pm i'll respond here

    there's obvious chemistry and she's into you, maybe she's not one to cheat so she's trying to keep you around for the validation that you give her vice versa, i would give her a subtle ultimatum too direct would raise her defense and lapse to her bf only if you believe you should be her bf, it really comes down to what you want...if you want friends, continue as is

  3. #3
    cmcniff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    Yeah Sorry about that.

    That's the thing, she said if she could turn the clocks back she would in a flash, but it wouldn't be fair on her current bf (That was at the very beginning of us texting, we have got alot closer now).

    I know at the back of our minds we should be in a relationship and we both want it but she has a bf.

    Surely if she liked me enough she would but she did say if she did and we didn't work out she would be left with nothing, but not recently.

    I without doubt want to be more than friends, as its to hard being friendly knowing I want her.

    What sort of subtle ultimatum would you give, and should I ask her to meet casually again. Basically it feels like we are a relationship waiting to happen, however she may never break up with her bf.

  4. #4
    Alejo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    Very interesting situation amigo,

    My position regarding this kind of situation is that if she really likes you and want to be with you, she will.

    Sorry man, but if she is not breaking with her boyfriend to be with you there are few chance to make her do it.

    I would say that you should keep dating other girls since you are focusing way too much attention in to this one, not for make her notice you are getting over her, but for yourself and stop thinking so much about her.

    I know is very hard, but you have to carry on with all the other amazing girls in your tow and forget about this one.

    Think about this, would you like to be the boyfriend of a girl who actually, tells another guys how she like them when she is with his boyfriend?

    Carry on my friend.

  5. #5
    cmcniff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    Fair point, thats what I'm starting to think right now.

    If she liked me enough she would be with me regardless.

    Even though other people say try and get her keep in contact etc etc, no point if its going to affect me in a bad way this much.

  6. #6
    Alejo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    Don't try to keep contact my friend, that would be showing her too much importance and that would make you look needy.

    Date other girls, always evaluating if they are good enough for you, not the opposite.

    If you can date a friend of her, that would be even better! She will be so jelous that she will kick her boyfriend out very soon, but unfurtanely for her, she will be very late because you will be over that old crush long time ago.

    I think the best is to date 3-4 girls keeping your chances open, always evaluating them and if the things go right, you will know which is the one. The important thing about dating 3-4 girls is that you will not be able to give too much attention to any of them, and my friend, girls just love that.

    If you show how hungry you are, you will have poor chances to eat...

    Go out and have fun with your girls amigo!!!!!

  7. #7
    cmcniff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    That's what I have been doing the last month, always texting first the next day, and she knows how much I want her.

    I know genuinely she really still likes me and basically said if she didn't have a current bf and i told her all this 2 months ago we would be together.

    She hasn't text since Thursday evening, so this will be the longest period of us not texting as we have been every day, but I will not text her first as I have gotten so close to her, and it really feels like we are in a relationship, without the sexual contact and meeting up.

    If she genuinely will not leave her boyfriend which I don't think she will, I should start distancing myself for my own sanity, and maybe she will start to see she is losing me, instead of me being a puppy dog.

  8. #8
    Alejo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    So sad to give you bad news amigo but things are like things are...

    People in real life actually are with the people they want to be, not otherwise.

    What I want you to notice is that this girl wants to be with her boyfriend, not with you.

    Try to relax about it, wear your best shirt and go out to explore the world. It is full of pretty sexy girls that want to have fun!

    I don't know what the other guys here think, but I would say is time to say next my friend.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    Sounds like a pretty straight forward situation to me. You both want each other, but can't. Very Romeo and Juliet lol. Now why can't you be together? Good question.

    You gotta understand, the average woman cares alot about her social status. If she were to dump her current bf and go to you after only two weeks, then it would be very embarrassing for her. It may not seem like a big deal, but to alot of women it is. Just give it time and go on a few dates to hold you over. You're in a good position and if you were meant to end up together then there's no need rushing it. I don't know the girl so take this assumption with a grain of salt.

    As for being her friend, simple answer is .......no. She doesn't get to have her cake and eat it to. If she wants 100% of you, then she needs to put 100% of her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #10
    cnose is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl I used to Date for two Months now has BF, but interested in me aga

    Hey cmcniff,

    You are being a total AFC! The girl has got everything she wants, nice bf of a few months and then the guy who let her get away is constantly saying how much he likes her. Her self-esteem couldn't be higher right now.

    Cut your losses mate and stop talking to her. Also you didn't think it was weird that you suddenly liked her just when you saw she was unavailable
    Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars


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