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  1. #1
    Nizel90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Friendzone trouble, I took to long

    Hey guys!

    About three months ago I met this girl and everything went well for the first 3 weeks. It started from texting which turned quickly into phone calls and time spent together. The time spent together included cuddling, kissing, hugging etc. Then one day I made the mistake of asking her what she wanted from me. It caused her to freak out and she stated out that she can't start a new relationship now because she had ended her last relationship couple of months earlier.

    I stayed in touch with her because she had told me that she was attracted to me and in different time things would have ended differently. Time went by and we kept seeing each other often (3-4 evenings/week). During this time we became extremely close. She has told me stuff not even her best friends know about her. As time went by I slowly started to add more kino and she has responded to it positively. I can hold my hand on her legs, hug her, have my arms around her etc.

    The moment one is about to leave the others place she just stands close to me and just gazes into my eyes. This is when I tried to kiss her couple of days ago and she pulled her head away and told me she doesn't feel that way about me anymore.

    However she hasn't said it directly that she just wants to be friends with me.

    Now she is afraid of losing me. She told me that losing me would be extremely painful for her because I've made her feel so much better. According to her she was lonely before she met me and I have managed to make that feeling go away. What I can tell is that she is emotionally very invested in me, because she told me that losing me would tear her apart.

    Now that I look back I realize at least some of my mistakes. Although I reinitiated kino I didn't do it with flirting and teasing. I haven't done any push/pull stuff in a long time. I've also made it way too easy for her. It became obvious that I was always there for her and she didn't really need to have any effort.

    I realize that I need to reverse the frame. I'm planning to take a 2-3 week break from her and start fresh after that. My plan is to disqualify her and start introducing flirting and teasing once again with kino and just hope that i can flip the attraction switches back on.

    I'm a newbie when it comes to this stuff so any tips & opinions would be appreciated!

  2. #2
    Alejo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friendzone trouble

    Hey! I think after you enter the friend zone, everything is lost...

    I would do two things:

    1. Date other girls (3-4 per week), that way you will focus your attention in other people and that break time you want will be very easy for you
    2. If she insists to much on not loosing you as her best gay friend, don't push it anymore and enjoy her friendship! Is almost sure she has some hot friends you can date!!!

    Have fun amigo!

  3. #3
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friendzone trouble

    My advice... decide what you want

    If you are happy being friends do that (but it sounds as though you're not).

    I would put some distance between you and freeze her out for a little while. Then try to reconnect later.

  4. #4
    XgorillafistX is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friendzone trouble, I took to long

    I am in the exact same place as your right now, My advice would to be to use her as a pivot to get other girls so that you can keep her in your life. Maybe, just maybe that can kind of be used to make her jealous and show her that you are not slobbering over her constantly.

    I am not sure if this would work I am still a noob this is just what all my friends have been telling me to do.

  5. #5
    Supremo's Avatar
    Supremo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friendzone trouble, I took to long

    I wouldn't use her as a Pivot. That is something you do with really close friends or someone you have no interest in dating or hooking up with. Not someone you are interested in. What you can do is freeze her out for a few weeks, go out and date other women and figure a way for her to find out, ie A picture of you with another hot lady posted on facebook, etc. Like you said she knows you will always be there and if you are gone for a couple weeks she will realize what she had with you which will cause her to come crawling back to you.

  6. #6
    Nizel90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friendzone trouble, I took to long

    Quote Originally Posted by Supremo View Post
    I wouldn't use her as a Pivot. That is something you do with really close friends or someone you have no interest in dating or hooking up with. Not someone you are interested in. What you can do is freeze her out for a few weeks, go out and date other women and figure a way for her to find out, ie A picture of you with another hot lady posted on facebook, etc. Like you said she knows you will always be there and if you are gone for a couple weeks she will realize what she had with you which will cause her to come crawling back to you.
    Thanks for the tips!

    I saw her today and got some new info out of her. However this time I can say that I didn't do any AFC stuff. I didn't tell her how important she is or how I feel. I made it look like this wasn't a big deal for me, which is good I hope.

    She told me that she had second thoughts about me but she couldn't go for it because she wasn't entirely sure. The reason for this is that a similiar situation ended up badly for her in the past.

    I believe the freeze-out will work wonders because even by changing the tone of some text messages to a bit more serious one, caused her fear of loss to increase. I'm going to spend a 3 week christmas holiday in another city so the freeze-out will be easy.

  7. #7
    Supremo's Avatar
    Supremo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friendzone trouble, I took to long

    Props on not doing any AFC stuff when you saw her. You did the perfect thing by not showing that it has affected you. Remember YOU are Alpha Male, you are the prize that she has to work to get. Not the other way around. When she starts crawling back to you don't immediately reward her for that behavior because you will undo all the work with the freeze out, ect.


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