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Thread: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

  1. #1
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    I am madly infatuated with my female coworker. I get the impression that she is just a player. She is my office girl, who helps out with my paperwork. I had asked her out for lunch once before, and she said that she had to take her car in for repairs at lunch. She didn't offer another day, so I left it.

    Last night was our staff office party. I had actually rsvpd and was going to take a date. But my date got sick, so I was just going to stay at home.

    Well about an hour into the party, one of my coworkers calls me up and asks if I am going. Then my office girl gets on the phone and asks me to come.

    So I decided to go dateless. When I get there, I see her with a date. We got a bit drunk and she was flirting with him hard core. But with me as well. A lot of play fighting and she would constantly pretend to bag me. I stole her smokes and then walked up to people and gave them away. She laughed lots about it and then danced. I used lots of Kino, and she didn't pull away. But when I said lets go dance, she wouldn't dance with me, and she didn't dance with her date.

    When she leaves, she walks up to me and play slaps me a bunch of times in the face. Then leaves hand in hand with her date. Even though she wouldn't kiss him. (my coworkers asked them too)

    Anyways, I want to know how to stop having feelings for her?? I barely go in to the office as it is, because I don't want to see her. My work has suffered greatly, to the point where I am practically broke.

    From what I have read, a lot of woman feel its ok to play a man, as a lot of men, just want to screw around. So they see it as fair game.

    I would like to transfer, but I am not allowed at the time. I would quit, but this is my career, and I have no where else to go. Should I just tell her how I feel? Is she just a flirt, and having fun? Can I hate her for that? No! But now I have mad feelings for her, and nothing to do about it. Advice??

    The only thing I can think to do is call her on it. Next time she flirts with me I will politely say it's not appropriate, and I know what she is doing. And that if she continues, I will complain.

  2. #2
    beingattractive's Avatar
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    What do you want to do? If you want her to leave you alone so that you can move on, then call her out on it and tell her your not interested. It does sound like shes a flayer (female player) lol these kinda girls could be fun to have around but are definitely not girlfriend material... you know what you need to do.

  3. #3
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anuks View Post
    I am madly infatuated with my female coworker. I get the impression that she is just a player. She is my office girl, who helps out with my paperwork. I had asked her out for lunch once before, and she said that she had to take her car in for repairs at lunch. She didn't offer another day, so I left it.

    Last night was our staff office party. I had actually rsvpd and was going to take a date. But my date got sick, so I was just going to stay at home.

    Well about an hour into the party, one of my coworkers calls me up and asks if I am going. Then my office girl gets on the phone and asks me to come.

    So I decided to go dateless. When I get there, I see her with a date. We got a bit drunk and she was flirting with him hard core. But with me as well. A lot of play fighting and she would constantly pretend to bag me. I stole her smokes and then walked up to people and gave them away. She laughed lots about it and then danced. I used lots of Kino, and she didn't pull away. But when I said lets go dance, she wouldn't dance with me, and she didn't dance with her date.

    When she leaves, she walks up to me and play slaps me a bunch of times in the face. Then leaves hand in hand with her date. Even though she wouldn't kiss him. (my coworkers asked them too)

    Anyways, I want to know how to stop having feelings for her?? I barely go in to the office as it is, because I don't want to see her. My work has suffered greatly, to the point where I am practically broke.

    From what I have read, a lot of woman feel its ok to play a man, as a lot of men, just want to screw around. So they see it as fair game.

    I would like to transfer, but I am not allowed at the time. I would quit, but this is my career, and I have no where else to go. Should I just tell her how I feel? Is she just a flirt, and having fun? Can I hate her for that? No! But now I have mad feelings for her, and nothing to do about it. Advice??

    The only thing I can think to do is call her on it. Next time she flirts with me I will politely say it's not appropriate, and I know what she is doing. And that if she continues, I will complain.
    Dude....You're losing it man. Sounded like you were doing well?!? She's playing you and your trying to game her. If it is really bugging you then call her out on it and say that you're not interested, have a gf, etc. LOL although that might make her want you more.

    Just reframe, you're doing well. Just treat it like a game. Don't give in, don't lose it. Game other chicks also.

  4. #4
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    Yea Fuser you are right. I should just call her on it and say I am not interested and she is "not getting in my pants" Which will undoubtedly make her want me more. But that is exactly what I will do. Thanks for helping me keep my head level.

  5. #5
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anuks View Post
    Yea Fuser you are right. I should just call her on it and say I am not interested and she is "not getting in my pants" Which will undoubtedly make her want me more. But that is exactly what I will do. Thanks for helping me keep my head level.
    Glad to help. Good luck man, let us know how it goes. Remember to keep the confidence up when you say that. Make it like a challenge to her, not like a frustrated remark.

    Cheers

  6. #6
    hyp
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    being on the iPhone sucks with copying paragraphs and bolding them but she's keeping you on a hook , attracting you and not following through
    Edit: and going off with her bf/partner, players don't really like getting intimate in pub with ppl they're interested in so I'm not sure now

  7. #7
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    Yea I always figured that she was.. Some of my friends would say that they think she likes me, and encourage me to go out with her. Even my boss and supervisor have teased me about her. Saying stuff like she likes you, or she wants you take her places or go for a drink with you, etc. Personally I am bit pissed off. If it was me doing that to her, she could complain, and I could get canned. But because she is a woman, she is allowed to flirt and lead me on at the office. And I can't do sh1t about it.

    Yea I should have said this to her on the phone last night. "No Jill, I am not going to sleep with you, I am not interested in you, because I am taken"

    I really dislike her now. When I stole her phone she was texting some other guy named Paul.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    Anuks, you've got one-itis for the first girl who IOI's you.

    Don't take my comment the wrong way, I just mean it as an fyi.

    When you first start at PUA and you begin to see what is and is not an IOI you find yourself getting drawn toward the girls who are giving you IOI's because it is validation in a way that you aren't used to receiving. But she's giving you IOI's simply because flirting is fun. It's something she, and all other hot girls know, and something you will learn too.

    To get her off your ming you just have to game other girls, get numbers, run text game, go on dates and (eventually) just have fun flirting with girls (whether or not you move it beyond flirting) just like she has fun flirting with you (and her office party date whom she probably didn't fark anyway).

    If it was me, for good measure, I might IOD and Neg her until you blow out. But realistically that would be unnecessary. All you need to do is game other girls and get more IOI's from random @$$ chicks than you get from this flirty girl.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  9. #9
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    Well I think it's rather inappropriate, because we work together. The place where I work, people stay for years and years on end. To flirt with me like that, is leading me on. Which can actually cause negative feelings/ drama. It's not like a restaurant/bar where staff flirt with each other all the time. They won't be there for years on end. But my type of work, they can take sexual harassment very seriously. Even though, my boss and supervisor were teasing me about her. No idea why either!

    The last job I had, same industry, same type of work environment. My supervisor would hit on me ALL THE TIME. She was married also, with a kid at home, I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. And when I would just ignore her advances after a year, she got pissed and nearly had me fired. They believed her over me, primarily because she was female.

    So my flirty coworker here, flirts with me and its ok? Nah! I don't think so... but Autismus I get what you are saying. That is why I am doing day approaches, and using the "Better Man" iPhone app.

    Respect.

  10. #10
    hyp
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    Default Re: Infatuated with coworker who is a player.

    And when I would just ignore her advances after a year, she got pissed and nearly had me fired. They believed her over me, primarily because she was female.
    yeah but at least you went out with your standards still high

    but seriously why don't you just go up and friendzone her, tell her you think she's sweet and you just want to be friends, that will either get her on your case even more or make her back off a fair bit, but seeing as she's a player i'd tip the first one


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