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  1. #1
    mrpalme is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default kind of screwed it up, need advice how to proceed furhter

    So short story long. Yesterday I went to a presentation about some world travel from some couchsurfing girl. In the list of participants I saw a HB8 beforehand. So I decided to go and try to get in touch with her. In the beginning everything went fine. The presentation was paused, everybody stood around, she also. I opened her up with some random BS abt travel and stuff and she showed some IOIs (at least thats what I took it for) and our conversation was goin well, she laughed a lot and had a good time. During the presentation speaking was not possible but I leaned over, giving Kino to her shoulder at one point and asking her name (which I forgot to ask beforehand) and introduced myself with handshake.

    Then after the presentation was over we chatted a little bit abt this and that, she plans to travel the world blablabla. I always listend acitvely and stuff was (from my perspective) goin well, still. Then, everybody was abt to leave and whole thing was getting shut down I said to her sth like "ok well, so what you think abt having a coffee someday soon?" And she reacted kind of surprised but replying "sure". At that moment I already had the thought that I may have approached too fast or with too less affection from her side beforehand? Ok but still.. I tried to NC her and said sth like "well then give me your number and we stay in touch". She was still like "yes, sure". And at that moment everythin fell apart. I told her that I had to get my jacket with my mobile in it. At the very moment I was back with the jacket, some random elder couchsurfdummy was coming over to her and starting blabla abt some boring shit about bikes or whatsoever. Then the 3 of us went out together and that dumb fucker just would not leave us alone.. then eventually some other dummy was joining the 3 of us, starting to participate in that random boring bullshittalk. I clearly saw that she was getting uncomfortable with the situation but did not see what I could do against. Then, after a couple of minutes she said "well, I am gonna make a move, see you".. without giving me the number.. Shortly after she walked to her car, I decided not to give in so easily, said goodbye to the dummies and left with my bike in her direction. She still had not left with the car so I knocked her window and asked her again for the number which she replied with "just write me on couchsurfing website"..

    So, concrete questions of mine are:

    1) How can I build up more affection. In that moment I couldnt really isolate her to give her some kind of fancy mind-reading routine or stuff, so what would you recommend? (Besides, for other cases, which would be good fancy mind-reading routines?)

    2) She still left me with the option to contact her via that site so as there is nothin to loose I will definitely do it. BUT: how & when? I met her monday night, tomorrow midday I leave to Czech Rep., being back friday night. So either I write her wednesday morning or friday evening. First option would allow to propose coffeedate for the weekend but maybe it will show that I am too much after her? Second option maybe too late? What you think? How shall I write her? She is from another town abt 10km away so I would suggest coffee in my city to stay in control of the frame (is that right?)

    3) Getting the option to write message on couchsurfing, facebook, msn or whatsoever is always a bad signal,isnt it?

    4) General suggestions abt what I could have done better, also to get rid of that interfering dummies?


    Ah and by the way, kindly excuse my bad english, I am German native and the described situation also took place in German in Germany....

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: kind of screwed it up, need advice how to proceed furhter

    Honestly; from what I can tell, it looks like you were too focused on having a conversation & building rapport; rather than flirting & building curiosity / attraction.

    Also- you weren't expressing "Alpha" qualities... especially when you "asked her about having coffee".
    It sounded like you were unsure of yourself & almost worried that you were inconveniencing her by bringing it up.

    Instead, you should make the offer like:
    "Hey, I know a great little coffee place. I go there all the time, and you should totally roll with me this weekend... my treat."


    Assume the sale.... express confidence.
    Flirt & build attraction before you get into conversations & rapport.

    That should make a pretty significant difference.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    mrpalme is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: kind of screwed it up, need advice how to proceed furhter

    thanks! Good advice so far! I am still pretty new to the game so I am very thankful for every advice I can get!


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