Hello my fellow PUA I have recently gotten back in contact with my Ex (UH OHHH) but its not as it seems, I broke up with her a long time ago for my own reasons and after fighting really hard to get me back she left the state of Florida, found a new man and started a family, that ended about a year back but we have been in contact throughout the whole thing and she has been there for me and I for her, we learned to just become friends and a lot of times she expressed that she missed me and still had feelings for me (feelings I shared as well) but I always told her that she had a family and I couldn't do that. A long time has passed and things are different now, she lives alone with her daughter and she had asked me a long time ago to move in with her but I denied this with led to her slowly not talking to me anymore her reason being is that it hurts talking to me. After months of us not talking I decided to say hi on FB and she reacted in a really friendly way!
after a couple of messages between each other she admitted that she misses me and that she wished I would have never left her (This obviously hurt her a lot and to this day because she brings it up every time she gets mad or sentimental) she also asked me to move (to another state) in with her. This time I said yes because I feel like I am ready to be in a relationship with her again, and look forward to a fresh start away from the town I grew up in she has proved that she loves me over and over, and I guess she always kept her distance to avoid getting hurt. She sounded really happy on the phone and started calling me again a lot! But now it seems like she is going thru something, she has not picked up my calls for almost a week (I only call her once every 2 days or so to provide her with space) but now I decided to not contact her at all anymore. I feel like she is having Buyers Remorse from all the stress in her life right now and the fact that I hurt her a lot and she is probably scared that I will do it again! So I decided to write her a letter that I will send to her with the objective of giving her Comfort from those thoughts about the past while still providing her with space and not smothering her.
This is the letter (changed her name to "Female" for obvious privacy to her)
I read a story the other day I would like to share with you. It goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was this guy...who was walking down the street...and there was a beautiful girl that was walking down the street towards him.
And when they saw each other, they stopped...and deciding to start talking. It was a totally natural and spontaneous thing and it wasn't something that these people usually do. It just happened.
And these people just connected with each other on every word and at every level. It was as if, they had already known each other for so long, even though they had only known each other a matter of minutes...but it soon came a couple hours. And the incredible connection these two made was so strong it was as if there was a glowing light between these two people. So it was then that they decided that their meeting must be FATE.
To test this out, the two went on their separate ways...and decided that if they would meet again, they would KNOW for sure that it was their DESTINY to be together. So they departed. They went on their separate ways.
And as the years passed, a plague hit their city. And many people died.
And years later...there was this guy...who was walking down the street...and there was a beautiful girl that was walking down the street towards him. And as they passed each other, both people recalled a faint glimpse of a memory of having seen each other before. But they continued walking their own separate ways...
Isn't that a sad ending? I know most people would say it is realistic but I dont believe that anymore, because I have a new mentality in life, and that is that anything can be achieved when you have a burning desire for it, and that is me now Female! I dont know how else to say this but we have been there to see each other grow up in so many ways, you were there when I graduated high school (the cutest prom date ever) and when I became a U.S. Citizen, remember that I elbowed you in the temple by accident in front of my mom when trying to put my arm around you? And I was right there when you had your daughter even from so many miles away because it doesnt matter how far we are or how many times I would try to forget you, we are still close. At heart we have a connection, like the two people in the story above, and I would be ashamed if I just allow us to have the same ending! I understand there are a lot of stressful things happening in your life right now and that it is confusing at times. The decision for me to move over there was very sudden and there are probably a million thoughts going in your head already besides the ones of a new person living with you, I'm just trying to say that I am not going there to judge you, or put you down I love you, I want to see you succeed as much as I want to succeed myself, I want you to never forget that we are not just our history or the way we feel about each other, we are also friends, we are two people that can connect in a deep level and be free and ourselves around each other, I am going there because I am ready for a fresh start and I'm not afraid of leaving anymore, because the friendship that we have and the way we feel about each other is worth pursuing, and because I know what I want and I am always going to strive to get it and I want you! Do you know why you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen? Its because I see your heart Female and its huge, it radiates so much love everywhere it goes and the people that judge you cant understand that because they only look in the surface were we all make mistakes. (you are also really hot!) When we dated we were just kids and even tho I believed in you from back then I didn't see it the same way, I blamed you for a lot of things and it led to me separating from you, I know that hurt you a lot and it affects our relationship to this day I just want to assure you that that wont ever happen again and I know it! I am much older now my way of thinking has changed but the core values remain the same. You once told me that I gave you a reason to begin believing in the day of love, the day of hope, the day of happiness. Well that statement is true for both of us and that day is approaching and to be honest I have the burning desire to spend it with you, having fun and being happy just how we know how to do I guess this whole letter was just my way to say, I love you.
I started this letter with Styles story designed to end Last Minute Resistance, and went on to write the rest of the letter, I know I wrote the L word in there twice once as a friend and once as a lover, I mean them both and she has told me that she loved me too so I don't see a reason to move back from that. But I am coming here for advice, Im making sure the letter doesn't make me sound submissive to her in any way and I am sending this because It is a big decision for me to move there and if it does not happen I will no longer talk to her (it would hurt me too) so this would be the last attempt along with any useful advice I can get here. I am doing this because it is what would make me happy and I am ready to do it! Thank you so much for your time and your input!
Btw the letter is going to be written by hand on paper and sent to her so that she can have a tangible message that she can feel and touch and because Facebook or email is too typical.. lets go old school
Also how do I delete a post I have this on a different section but prefer to have posted it on here!