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Thread: Getting her to start new text conversations?

  1. #1
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Getting her to start new text conversations?

    I always seem to try to keep my conversations going and I think they are usually at least pretty decent conversations but i always end up being the last one to text and then.... Nothing. How do I stop this and get her to want to even start up new texts later, ie. The next day? Any and all advice would be appreciated as I'm not very good at this yet. P.S. a little off topic but also what are some good ways to pick up on whether or not a girl is just playing with you or actually likes/ is attracted to you?

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    mate put examples up, I would say ur being boring, instant replying when she doesn't or where it's not needed and being predictable

  3. #3
    warlord is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    Ahhh... the Holy Grail of texting a girl... getting them to text you first.

    i have had this problems many times because i like having a lot of long distance relationships and texting is an important part of that.

    1st a couple of things i want to know if you are doing.

    Are you controlling the tempo? If she takes 1 hour to reply your text, are you texting back right away after she replies or wait a Minimum of 30 min before replying?

    Do you ask a lot of questions in your texts or make a lot of statements? Nothing says im on your nuts like texting questions after questions.

    Are you always the last text sender? If she text something that doesn't really need a reply, do you HAVE to reply?

    Example: Her: " Oh, no problem, anytime."
    you: (any one of the following) cool! your so nice! Thats awesome of you!

    Do you freeze her out? This one is hard to do and a lot of times, you have to be prepare to lose her. I've frozen girls out and lost them and i've frozen girls out to have them initiate texting me again after 2 month...

    You have to realize tho, MOST HOT girls HB7's and above, usually don't initiate any texts. Thats just how it is. You really don't get a lot of starter texts from a girl unless 1) They are IN LOVE with you or 2) You have built a lot of comfort

    More info on your situation would help too, and as always, this is just my opinion

  4. #4
    hyp
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    You have to realize tho, MOST HOT girls HB7's and above, usually don't initiate any texts. Thats just how it is. You really don't get a lot of starter texts from a girl unless 1) They are IN LOVE with you or 2) You have built a lot of Comfort
    it's true, mainly cause they would have a few guys on the hook texting, even if they're not players (or testers - pandoras box term)

  5. #5
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    Thanks for the advice guys. But ya, I usually naturally think that I should follow some of those rules but I usually can't seem to help myself. And text wise, ie. The other day I texted her and we had a semi brief conversation about her going to Florida for winter break and then a semester abroad. I dunno, nothing special I guess. Rigt when i sent the last message i realized i probably had just sent the ending text for lack of a better word cuz like you said, it was a response to her saying "madrid spain." I can't say for sure, but I think the only clever thin I've really messages her was how I got her number. Do you guys maybe have any suggestions on types of texts to send that are a little more interesting because I can never seem to think of the right thing to say until it's too late. Alao, Thanks for the help.

  6. #6
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    Ahhh... the Holy Grail of texting a girl... getting them to text you first.

    i have had this problems many times because i like having a lot of long distance relationships and texting is an important part of that.

    1st a couple of things i want to know if you are doing.

    Are you controlling the tempo? If she takes 1 hour to reply your text, are you texting back right away after she replies or wait a Minimum of 30 min before replying?

    Do you ask a lot of questions in your texts or make a lot of statements? Nothing says im on your nuts like texting questions after questions.

    Are you always the last text sender? If she text something that doesn't really need a reply, do you HAVE to reply?

    Example: Her: " Oh, no problem, anytime."
    you: (any one of the following) cool! your so nice! Thats awesome of you!

    Do you freeze her out? This one is hard to do and a lot of times, you have to be prepare to lose her. I've frozen girls out and lost them and i've frozen girls out to have them initiate texting me again after 2 month...

    You have to realize tho, MOST HOT girls HB7's and above, usually don't initiate any texts. Thats just how it is. You really don't get a lot of starter texts from a girl unless 1) They are IN LOVE with you or 2) You have built a lot of Comfort

    More info on your situation would help too, and as always, this is just my opinion
    . I forgot to answer these oops haha. So ya I'm usually the last texter, I guess I do ask a god amount of Q's so how do I make more statements but still keep it going? She is pretty hot so I have no doubt other people are texting her, and she took a couple hours to respond the first time but it was later at night so I just texted back right away but the rest of her reponses after the first were pretty much right away as well. How do I control the tempo exactly and what do you mean by frezzing her out?

  7. #7
    hyp
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    How do I control the tempo exactly
    if she replies instant, you reply in 10 minutes for example, if she replies 2hours, you reply 1.5 to 3 hours, sometimes even longer, even a few minutes keep it random

    what do you mean by frezzing her out?
    no contact

  8. #8
    cavan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    I have this exact same problem! except I think I screwed up a little bit more, when I moved back into the city we met up for coffee to catch up, I thought it went good she was laughing at my jokes, and she seemed to generally enjoy the conversation, the later that evening we were supposed to meet up again for drinks and she ended up never texting me where. Later I asked her brother ( 1 of my closest friends) to scout out the situation and he told me she apparently got bored when we met up, you didn't tell me this till after I have been trying to text with her in a manner that is fairly similar to what you've just described as bad.
    Please tell me there's a way I can pull out of this suicide dive and land this figurative plane
    And remember kids, Han shot first

  9. #9
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    so freezing her out is not contacting her at all? and cavan, I could give you some advice even though I am no expert on this subject just because I usually can think of some pretty good advice, but I should probably let someone else give it haha. anyway, I just never seem to know what to text her or other girls when I need it and I have no idea how to get passed that. it gets even harder when I start thinking about wanting to get somewhere with them, things start getting more difficult. i dont know why.

  10. #10
    warlord is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting her to start new text conversations?

    Quote Originally Posted by cavan View Post
    I have this exact same problem! except I think I screwed up a little bit more, when I moved back into the city we met up for coffee to catch up, I thought it went good she was laughing at my jokes, and she seemed to generally enjoy the conversation, the later that evening we were supposed to meet up again for drinks and she ended up never texting me where. Later I asked her brother ( 1 of my closest friends) to scout out the situation and he told me she apparently got bored when we met up, you didn't tell me this till after I have been trying to text with her in a manner that is fairly similar to what you've just described as bad.
    Please tell me there's a way I can pull out of this suicide dive and land this figurative plane
    Well.... best way to get a girl to re-engage would be to freeze her out.. but like i said YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO LOSE THEM FOREVER.

    Freezing is dangerous but effective. I just recently had an HB 8.5 who I've already slept with lose interest in me because i froze her out...

    I talked to her on the phone and she talked to me for an half an hour and said she had to take a shower and she will chat with me via text later. I froze her out for 5 days and when i re-engaged today, she seem very distant and cold. she said she was sick and when i asked her what was wrong she never texted back. Im pretty sure i lost this one.

    Now the only option i see for my self is to do long term freeze. Basically no contact until she contacts me first or till the next holiday (which would be Christmas) and i do a mass text to all my girls with Merry Christmas and see how she responds to that.

    The point of a freeze out is basically to call their bluff, let them know you don't need them and you are willing to lose them to see how they respond.

    P.S. ( just today, a girl i had froze out for about 3 month all of a sudden text me today saying shes coming in to town with some girls friends in January.. i thought i lost this one but it looks like she might be coming back.. so sometimes freezing does work)


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