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  1. #1
    skylines is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Got some action with here, then suddenly..

    Hi, I'm new here. Been reading and learning alot about the PUA mastery in the last few weeks. However, I was unable to find some content related to my problem.

    Few weeks back, I started working at another location of company of mine - where I saw her. We only exchange looks for a while, for the first week. By the end of the week, we had a company party and she was there. We got together, talked, went on partying by ourselves to another club since the company party was somewhat awful. Before we went to another club, we walked around (she held my hand by the elbow). So after we arrived there, we started dancing and because I've noticed that all evening she was giving me IOI's I kissed her there, you know the few seconds stare, no words and then kiss suddenly.

    So we partied till like 4am, then I arranged for her to be driven off to another party, where she had to pickup some colleague which she promised he could sleep at her place (he's not from the city, so needed a stay over).

    Next day I texted her like that I had fun last night, she replied that she had fun too and it's beautiful weather outside, naturaly I got that as an IOI and asked her out for a coffee, which she agreed upon. So we went outside for a coffee, talked, held hands and kissed for while - we were both hungover, so both of us were quite lazy When I dropped her off, later she told me she'd invite me to her place - but her roommate is a total b*tch and complains whenever somebody is at her place (I did not invite her to my place since it was a total mess - and i mean such a mess that I'd be ashamed bringing anyone over).

    So fine, we texted some random stuff, and all was well. Then next day, when I saw her at work, we went for a smoke (and we were alone), so I leaned to her to get a kiss (probably a mistake) and she was like that nah, I don't want to do this at work, everybody's looking and talking if they see something. I said its cool, not to worry I won't brag to anyone about this.

    Later that evening, I've asked her if she's free next day to hang out, she said that she would let me know - that she already has something in plan, of course the next day I waited for her to let me know but she didnt. Then the day after, texted her again and she responded, but said that she had fun in the weekend, but that she's going thru some stuff and doesn't think it's a good idea to involve anyone in it. I responded that it's cool, that I understand and if she wants to hang out sometime with no strings attached, to which she responded that she's not that kind of person - but that anything can happen.

    So following days I was being a bit cocky to her - and she had laughed, but I've gone too far with using same subject and later told me that it ain't funny anymore. So few days passed again, in the meanwhile we gone for a cig (since we temporarily work in the same place). So few emails passed, txt also.. But I got the feeling I'm not getting any response, like everything is stuck at some point.

    Now few days I decided to go totaly cold on her for 3 days, which she did notice. She didn't text me or anything, but when I went home from work, she dressed up quickly and came upstairs for a cig - I noticed that she was dressing up, but made some phonecall like that I'm not waiting for her outside. When I finished the call, I was stone cold to her like hey whats up and some useless talk about sleeping habits.. then I left.

    Next day I texted her to call me when she come to work, so we go to smoke, but she responded that she ain't working that day (which was true).

    Now all of this happened in 2 weeks. I've looked back and noticed I've might've been a bit needy (sigh) but on the other hand I don't get enough feedback from her to engage in anykind of conversation so I could use that to enhance the connection we had.

    So I'm literally stuck at this point - nothing's moving anywhere. Should I just freeze her out completly and move on, or is there any other method I could try to reignite the connection?

  2. #2
    Kaybee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Got some action with here, then suddenly..

    I think you blew it at the kiss during lunch break, AT WORK, followed by asking her out the same day. Kinda needy there.

    Again, you accepted her frame about not wanting to involve anyone with her stuff. This could have been a huge emotional breakthrough if you had been less passive about it. She probably needs someone she can talk to about this.

    I say you try to go on a date with her again. If that doesn't pan out, move on.

  3. #3
    skylines is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Got some action with here, then suddenly..

    Yeah, I figured later on I had some needy behaviour. She took me by surprise, I mean when I was drunk I was all cool and didn't care much + we had some common interests we talked about - guessing the attitude and interests attracted her. I've only started getting a grip of how to handle girls the right way, been in 3 years relationship and am now single for 2+ months so I'm a bit rusty.

    I will however ask her out for a bowling or something fun, so you can do something while you're with her - giving me advantage of being more relaxed than just sitting at a table and having a coffee But will wait a few days (freezeout) so I'm hoping I could take her by surprise.

    and something she said to me on that weekend: she thought I had a girlfriend and that she was too shy to approach, but was happy whenever I came out for a smoke while she was there also (being in company of others or alone).

    About accepting her frame of that - I'm not keen of others talking about who I'm in relationship with in our company, it only brings displeasure and others involving in your personal life - that's why I accepted that. I don't understand how that would be an emotional breakthrough if I'd be more passive about it? And she needs to talk what about exactly? I'm not sure if I understood that part of your reply, or I'm just blindsided

  4. #4
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Got some action with here, then suddenly..

    Sounds like she has someone else in the mix, whether it's an ex or another dude she is dating, her interest in this other person is higher than her interest in you, but she isn't fully decided on what she wants yet. I would back off and pump the breaks. You are initiating everything and putting in all of the work, make her chase YOU. Girls like that

  5. #5
    skylines is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Got some action with here, then suddenly..

    Quote Originally Posted by Shortman View Post
    Sounds like she has someone else in the mix, whether it's an ex or another dude she is dating, her interest in this other person is higher than her interest in you, but she isn't fully decided on what she wants yet. I would back off and pump the breaks. You are initiating everything and putting in all of the work, make her chase YOU. Girls like that
    That is also the case, yes. Being at same place I tend to notice people behaviour and body language and there is/was definatley something going on with her and some other dude. Tho, she told me she's single for a year now and her ex is in another city so I'm sure its not her ex


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