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Thread: Advice about a girl who wont have sex with me

  1. #1
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Advice about a girl who wont have sex with me

    So i've been seeing this one girl for a couple of weeks; During that time we've been hanging out frequently, I.E. going to dinner, going downtown, etc. We've also been making out somewhat often and she says i'm a good kisser. After the first week, since we're in college, I tried to initiate sex during a makeout session, but she shot me down saying it was too soon. I played it really cool though, and acted like it didnt phase me at all. At that point, since it was late, I simply said alright, well i'd better get some sleep for my 7am class. So i left, but she kissed me heading out the door. I waited another week before trying again in order to avoid seeming desperate, even though I am =/. She doesn't know I'm a virgin and I don't plan on telling her. The second time, she still was not interested in having sex, or doing anything with my penis in general. I see so many people who hook up for one night stands at parties, and I'm just scratching my head. If she won't have sex with me, I feel like she's not actually that interested in me, but every single girl that has been remotely interested in me has done something similar.

    I'm tired of this bs. College is supposed to be "easy" sex, and yet i've failed every time with every girl. Making out is ok I guess, but constant blue balls is pretty frustrating. What the hell is wrong with me?

  2. #2
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Advice about a girl who wont have sex with me

    What the hell is wrong with me?

    ^That mindset. The thought that something is wrong with you, that's what's wrong with you.

    Stop caring, she'll come around.
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  3. #3
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Advice about a girl who wont have sex with me

    You know, that's what I said about the previous girl and I waited for a farking month for nothing to happen. I don't see how this mindset matters when it clearly doesn't affect my confidence, or anything else? I was confident enough to kiss her, and try to initiate sex twice. If you can't get laid in college, and you aren't thinking " What the hell is wrong with me?", then I think you're probably gay or asexual. Plus that question is what brought me, and so many other WBAFCs to this forum in the first place. Objective criticism never did anything but help me, and this question is only trying to get me to improve myself, which I would think would be admirable.

  4. #4
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    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Advice about a girl who wont have sex with me

    Hey Serp

    Quote Originally Posted by serp777 View Post
    So i've been seeing this one girl for a couple of weeks; During that time we've been hanging out frequently, I.E. going to dinner, going downtown, etc.
    Hmm, is sexual tension high? If not, there might be too much comfort

    We've also been making out somewhat often and she says i'm a good kisser.
    That's good - did you tell her "I know I am... you're pretty decent too"

    After the first week, since we're in college, I tried to initiate sex during a makeout session, but she shot me down saying it was too soon. I played it really cool though, and acted like it didnt phase me at all.
    What did you say? Were you like *roll off* "You're right, we shouldn't do this." Or was it like "It's cool, I understand." The first one builds sexual tension (a step forward) and the second builds comfort (a step backward).

    At that point, since it was late, I simply said alright, well i'd better get some sleep for my 7am class.
    Oooooh this ^ could be interpreted by her as "well, if I'm not going to get laid, then I'm going to go... after all, that's the only reason I'm hanging out with you at all, HB" You can build sexual tension by saying "well I'd better go, etc" but then turn to her and keep making out for a few hours. If she thinks you want sex she'll withhold it - it has to just "happen in the moment."

    So i left, but she kissed me heading out the door. I waited another week before trying again in order to avoid seeming desperate, even though I am =/.
    Hmm, usually if you get a girl to C3 and don't close, then she'll know you want sex. You're best move is to engage her pretty soon after and build attraction (if you go NC after almost closing then she might think you're "done with her" because she doesn't put out)

    She doesn't know I'm a virgin and I don't plan on telling her. The second time, she still was not interested in having sex, or doing anything with my penis in general.
    Try just whipping it out. I've seen about a 30-40% success rate with this.

    I see so many people who hook up for one night stands at parties, and I'm just scratching my head. If she won't have sex with me, I feel like she's not actually that interested in me, but every single girl that has been remotely interested in me has done something similar.
    It sounds like you've been building too much comfort. Examine your usual game and see how your ratio of attraction/sexual tension is to your comfort. It's better to have too much attraction than too much comfort.

    I'm tired of this bs. College is supposed to be "easy" sex, and yet i've failed every time with every girl. Making out is ok I guess, but constant blue balls is pretty frustrating. What the hell is wrong with me?
    As for "so many" people hooking up at parties - if you compare yourself to other people you will always be able to find ways that their grass is greener (that's why negs work on ladies ) and really there is an illusion created where it seems like more people are hooking up (since no one ever tells epic bro stories about not-getting laid).

    Keep at it Serp! You're much closer to it than you think
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Advice about a girl who wont have sex with me

    I was confident enough to kiss her, and try to initiate sex twice.

    [x] Confidence
    [x] The Ability to Sexually Escalate
    [ ] Abundance

    Without the last, you're just like every other RSD Bro.

    Autismus is right though. It sounds like you have solid game, it probably just needs a few tweaks here and there. Everything he said is solid. Listen to him.
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