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Thread: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

  1. #191
    Bandit's Avatar
    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Quote Originally Posted by ColonelMathus View Post
    alright here's a set i am in.
    she works in another company. she's the daughter of the owner. the company i work with asked them to build a warehouse for us.
    now, i already broke the whole texting barrier in business (instead of formal emails and phone calls).
    we had a couple of meetings and i managed to get a laugh from her (note she wasnt being courteous there coz we already bought their services). i dont know how to take it to the next level.

    it's quite tricky coz our interactions are absolutely professional. tips and advice appreciated.
    I'm 21, dude. Office Game is a little outside my area of expertise. Try messaging one of the older All-stars. They could probably help better than I could. Off the top of my head try Kino or T-Mal or Tyrone
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  2. #192
    Bandit's Avatar
    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Quote Originally Posted by newbie5432 View Post
    Hey Bandit,

    I had this girl that showed IOIs (even asked me out), but flaked everytime. I asked her out and she flaked again. I froze her out for flaking, and now she is cold to me. It doesn't help that her friend is saying negative things to her behind my back (cockblocking). I tried befriending the cockblock, but she is just a backstabber. What do you suggest I do?

    Thanks
    People seem to have a hard time with freeze outs. In my experience, there are only two ways to use them

    First, they can be used as a punishment. But it's a very very short term freezeout. It's a way to conquer Last Minute Resistance. When you're trying to get a girl into bed and she's having second thoughts or playing hard to get. Ignore her for a while, do something else, make her miss the attention, then come back. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes.

    The other is like a reset button on a game. You use it to reset the frame of a relationship. It takes months, sometimes longer, and is only useful when getting out of the friend zone or trying to get back an ex. Other than that, I don't advise it.

    I don't believe in the middle-length freeze out. I've never had any success with it and I haven't heard of it working consistently. Which is kind of what you did. In your case I'd say pour on the charm and try and make up for lost ground.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  3. #193
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Guys, come on. Keep in mind I do this for sh!ts and giggles. When I see a post with like 5 questions in one thing, it completely saps all the enjoyment out of it. Keep it down to just one question per post, or I will have to verbally abuse you for all the internet to see.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  4. #194
    SoccerMom69 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Hey Bandit-

    What would you do if a girl is being bitchy and saying stuff like "Not with that hair cut" or "I'm not having this conversation with you"?

    I said: "Aww, your cute when you do that"

  5. #195
    BobbyEffect is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Hey Bandit - I already posted this somewhere else, but i really want you to give me your take on this.

    So I've been texting this girl trying to get her out but she seems very hard to get a hold on and gives me mass sh1t tests.

    Like today I started up with:

    Me: Surprise!
    Her: ?
    Her:

    Me: My buddy and I are going to xxx blabla,.. you should totally roll with us. it will be a blast!

    Her: I'm sorry but who is this again?

    At this point I was like ( meh this is a Sh1t Test again / or maybe she really doesn't have my number saved which I doubt coz we texted for 3 weeks now)

    Me: someday we should go to rehab together.
    (idk why I said that really, since she already went to rehab for real lol.. yikes)

    Her: ?

    Now I'm confused, what should i do/have done? Her interest seems pretty low

  6. #196
    mastertrek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Please answer me I posted this for the second time
    I'm studying with a girl I love for the second year and I love her deeply the problem is I didn't tell her because I was a cower so she friend-zoned me and even though I'm giving her too much importance and she knows that, sometimes she ignores me! I want to speak with her but I don't find any way, I say jokes, I ask her questions then make a statement but no results she usually responds with one or two words, she even made me think I'm not funny anymore ( when I see her laughing with some boys I just feel desperate) I feel that she's not that much interested and the worst thing is that I'm feeling that we're becoming more separated day by day. my best friend told me to let go but the problem is : I CAN'T!! I love her but I can't make any move.

  7. #197
    Cement is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Hey Bandit can you please advise me on what to do if I want to get you ex-girlfriend back?

  8. #198
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    I have aspergers syndrome and never learned basic social skills, now that i know the problem I'm trying to start. this is the furthest I've ever come with any girl, ever. i desperately need help

    a week or so ago i had a seminar at second city. basically a mock audition. while i was there i saw this cute girl so i sat next to her. i was a couple minutes late so i asked what i missed to start a dialogue but it was pretty short. after her turn we talked about what happened for a second then she left. i sat for a little but i had a good hour before i had to be back so i went to the starbucks downstairs for a snack. she was sitting there. the only open table was next to her (i was worried she’d think i followed her so i was hesitant but i decided id waited a while so there was no logical reason for it) as i sat down she started a conversation with me. we talked a while and she seemed impressed by my background and when i asked hers she seemed hesitant to tell me her ONLY background was in theatre. we talked and joked and she seemed unable to decide if she wanted to look me in the eyes. she kept quickly switching between me and the ground. she seemed shy. we had an hour so after a while she started going on twitter on her phone. she repeatedly apologized because she was addicted to twitter and couldn’t stop. at starbucks i got her number b/c the guy spelled her name funny on the cup and she wanted a pic but she didn’t want him to see her take it so i took it and texted it to her. we spent the whole time, pretty much, chatting between the times we had to be quiet or separated. i guessed a bunch of stuff about her and only got one wrong (I’m told that that shows her i get her) and when i guessed travel and she talked about it (once she got started she started determinedly listing all the places she’s been) i did that thing where you give her a look that says she impressed me, now I’m interested. i really was impressed so she shouldn’t have sensed any kind of lie. the way she talked about it, she seemed like she was hesitant to talk about it. she seemed embarrassed and like she didn’t want to look bad. once i did that look thing, she picked up steam quickly.

    I dont know if you read Vin DiCarlos PANDORAS BOX (I strongly recommend it because it has a very good take on pick up, that in my experience has yet to profile a woman wrong and its a good thing for your podcast) but if you have, i think she was a connoisseur. That means she likes to invest in the guy before something happens. she doesn't like to talk sex, preferring to deny that she has sex over shrugging it off "its just sex, who cares". she is a realist meaning she focus's on career and doesnt think about family fantasies. she accepts that guys like sex and cares more about being special to her "boyfriend" (its quoted cause she doesnt take labels) then being monogamous. the investor-denier-realist is the take from VIN DICARLO not me but every time i use this book, it seems to be dead on. i didn't get enough info about for my analysis of her to be fool proof but it feels right.

    she chuckled at almost all my jokes. her chuckles sounded sincere b/c there were a few times she seemed to be less interested and her chuckle sounded different. at the end i told her we should hang out and she said ya, definitely, i dont really remember it was essentially a [hesitantly excited] yes. I told her i have her number, ill call her.
    at one point early on i asked if she was on facebook and she quickly said no. Im pretty sure i found her, though aside from changing 2 pics, she hasn’t posted anything in a long while. its possible she said no cause she doesnt use it (doesnt want me to rely on it?).

    At the end of class she made a call that didn't sound like business. I heard almost none of it so it may not be her bf. it coulda been family or the friend she was meeting for a movie she was looking towards after class. She mentioned a couple times she was hungry and wanted go to the chipotle downstairs. Her tone didn't sound inviting to me but it didn't sound like anything. At the time I thought she just wanted keep talking to me.
    Did I miss a hint?

    2 days later I texted this:

    Hey Cacey. Hope you didn't cause too much chaos at the film festival. Got any planned for tomorrow?

    The reason was the guy at Starbucks spelled her name wrong, normally Casey, and she was surprised, taken aback, and tweeted a photo of the cup. It distracted her while we were talking and we talked about that. She was seeing a film at a festival after the seminar and she seemed excited. We talked about that for a while. I never heard back. It occurred to me she said she works nights/evenings. She's a hostess. What if she didn't want to text at work and thought it too late to reply? Would she have just dropped it? If so is it a bad idea to reach out sooner or should I try again?

    It also occurred to me that I don't remember seeing her texting. She checked her email, she was on Twitter ALOT. She was also on the phone a few times for work and professional.

    Last thursday I called her. at first she didn’t seem to realize who it was which tells me she wouldn’t have recognized the text. especially since she had tweeted the inside joke to her over 300 followers.

    When she realized who it was she sounded pleased. I can't quite remember exactly what was said but this is the gist. I called. I called her by a nickname to create a sense of familiarity. At first she didn’t realize who it was and thought I was calling for someone else, asking who i was looking for, and when she realized who it was, she sounded happy. I made a reference to our conversation from Tuesday. We talked for a few minutes. We both had plans though. She was getting ready to go to dinner and I was driving to dinner. I forget what we talked about first. There was a mention to our conversation from before. It was about the weather but it wasn't nonsensical filler. We got hit by a cold front and she got hit by snow. On Tuesday she had mentioned she loved the spring because it gets warmer. I said I love the fall and she said that's just cause the weather gets stable. So when the weather hit I said something like she may be right about fall, how bad did the snow hit? Or something like that. I said "I'm going to the art museum Friday, you should come with me" she sounded genuinely disappointed when she said she had to work all day Friday (She is currently doing a TV movie that has been keeping her busy. She didn't mention that part, I just know about it) I told her the rest of my weekend is pretty busy, unless she wanted to come with me to a Halloween party Saturday but I doubt she would. She sounded even more disappointed when she said she had to work all day Saturday, too. Then I asked her about her film and she started to tell me about it. At first she sounded a little embarrassed until it occurred to her to compare it to the hunger games. I think that inspired a little confidence in her cause she started to speak clearer. That's about when I said something like that sounds cool tell me more and she picked up steam and kept going. After a little while I messed up because instead of ending at a high point when I sensed I should, I gave her one more moment and she beat me to it. She said "I gotta get going, I'm going to dinner" and I replied "you beat me to it (more callback humor I think, that's what i said Tuesday when she said right before I was about to that we should go back upstairs), I was about to hang up. I'm driving to a friends for dinner." Then I said either I’ll call you later this week or I'll call you next week (I think it was next week) and she said something like ok in a similar, hopeful sounding tone to the one she used when I saw her last week.

    i noticed that on twitter on friday she tweeted that she was at something to do with dancing that night but it looked like a class which could have counted as work. on saturday i noticed she tweeted at around 11 a pic of her dog waking her up in bed. I figure that was in the morning though and she wouldn’t have wanted to hang out the first time in the morning and she would have assumed the party at night (it was) at least thats how I’m rationalizing it.

    I got 2 free tickets for a second city show on halloween night. i figured id call tuesday, make conversation with callback etc, ask what she is doing for halloween, and if she says no i would say something like “I have an extra ticket to a second city show, you should COME with me” i emphasize that word a lot when i talk to her (i find its the easiest sexual trigger word to place) and she seems to respond, subtly.

    i called at 4:40ish b/c when i called at 5-something last time she was getting ready to go to dinner and she did sound slightly annoyed that that was when i chose to call. she did not answer when i called so i left a message "Hey Case, we'll talk later" and hung up. i can rationalize why she didn't answer and if she's shy she may not call back maybe. I wanted to know when I should try calling again, if she didn't. i left my message ambiguous enough that if she didn't i could call back without losing points and i can see how it might have made her think id call back. Im also going to a party the day after halloween so i figured if she already has plans for halloween (i bet she does) and its not something i can subtly join her for (i forget which book said i should do that) then i can say she should come with me friday.

    is this a friendship, potential date, or a flake? why is it that? what could i do differently next time? do you have any advice on how to call a girl (in general)?

  9. #199
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    whats your take on subconscious signals like pointing your feet at someone or mirroring? theres a girl in my improv class who id go for but i never have any idea whats in her head. her arms are always crossed, which may be just more comfortable. yesterday for the first time her feet seemed to point to me a lot, i noticed a distinct change in when she started. there was some sexual banter but that was part of out scenes, the class was about making innocuous statements and turning them into funny scenes and we got partnered. when it was her turn, she went sexual several times (we did it a lot) but she also frequently went with telling me its not going to happen. I'm going to her party tomorrow night and i was surprised she invited me at the time b/c i thought she wasn't a fan. not necessarily didn't like me, just not nothing me and wouldn't want to bother. she was close with the girls, real feminist type, and i was surprised that some girls didn't know. she also told me she'd send me a link to the facebook page for the party and the next day i messaged her asking for the info and 3 days later she messaged me the info privately with an emoticon smiley.
    in general, she talks to me when we are alone or close to it but she usually stops or talks to everyone else as much as possible.

    everything in person did happen last night. i know she single, or at least was last week, b/c while a few weeks ago i overheard her telling some girls in class about a good date she went on and IF she called him she'd go out again and a week or so ago she posted online about trying to make eyes with the cutie at starbucks.

    whats your take on the body language, which last night seemed to contradict itself, and what would you do about her?

  10. #200
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm Bandit, ask me anything!

    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyEffect View Post
    Hey Bandit - I already posted this somewhere else, but i really want you to give me your take on this.

    So I've been texting this girl trying to get her out but she seems very hard to get a hold on and gives me mass sh1t tests.

    Like today I started up with:

    Me: Surprise!
    Her: ?
    Her:

    Me: My buddy and I are going to xxx blabla,.. you should totally roll with us. it will be a blast!

    Her: I'm sorry but who is this again?

    At this point I was like ( meh this is a Sh1t Test again / or maybe she really doesn't have my number saved which I doubt coz we texted for 3 weeks now)

    Me: someday we should go to rehab together.
    (idk why I said that really, since she already went to rehab for real lol.. yikes)

    Her: ?

    Now I'm confused, what should i do/have done? Her interest seems pretty low
    Tell her who you are if you want to keep the set going. There's plenty of girls that get a lot of numbers and are not responsible enough to save them. I would have texted "it's [your name] lol - how are you ?"

    I know you wanted Bandit, but I hope that helps.


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