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  1. #1
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    -Introduced to a girl (HB8) in a study building, where much of our interactions take place.
    -One of her friends (HB6.5) is interested in me, she may/may not know.
    -We're both college freshman at a smaller school, have overlapping friend groups, etc.
    -IOIs here and there, nothing too strong, probably because I didn't come on strong enough (but wasn't completely absent either).

    We have been playful and flirty around each other, but the first time we went out drinking together she suddenly decided to be unpleasant (read: bitchy) towards me, so I iced her out.

    The other day, she initiated contact on Twitter:

    Me: Aced my hardest final..happy monday everyone
    HB8: Cocky much?
    Me: smart & sexy sexy to back it up too (which a HB10 favorited, which is similar to liking a post)

    Talked to her yesterday, things were going well, there was kino, IOIs, etc but when another (alpha) guy came, I kinda choked and wasn't comfortable enough to keep up so I was kind of quiet. (There was an HB9 in a relationship sitting with us too).

    I texted her today to see where she was and didn't get a reply.

    How do I proceed? Next?

    It would be nice to know what is going on "under the hood" too.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Charlie Neptune is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    She sounds like a crappy person. I'm not about wasting time on girls w/ lame personalities. If you are going to back down when an alpha shows up then you are going to have trouble. Def read up on being alpha and maintain that mindset.

  3. #3
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    she suddenly decided to be unpleasant (read: bitchy) towards me, so I iced her out.
    this is an alternative to "icing her out" (lol) that seemed a bit too much, just do the classic "is she always like this?" to the nearest person that may or may not be listening in and then riff on it, be playful but semi-serious, not as "b1tchy" as her and she'll tone down her sh1t

    The other day, she initiated contact on Twitter:
    that shows you initiated the contact? if not whole convo pls

    I texted her today to see where she was and didn't get a reply.
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...e-replied.html

    How do I proceed? Next?
    read up on being alpha

    and id say if you're kinoing , turn it up a notch

  4. #4
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    Thanks for this, that helped.

    She initiated contact, because the first one wasn't directed at anyone, just a public tweet. Tweets could be stronger than text initiation since they are so public, but then again it is a social community.

    Thanks for the link - I'll check it out. I started the whole PUA thing when I got to college so I'm definitely still learning! Any other advice/resources would be awesome!


    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    she suddenly decided to be unpleasant (read: bitchy) towards me, so I iced her out.
    this is an alternative to "icing her out" (lol) that seemed a bit too much, just do the classic "is she always like this?" to the nearest person that may or may not be listening in and then riff on it, be playful but semi-serious, not as "b1tchy" as her and she'll tone down her sh1t

    The other day, she initiated contact on Twitter:
    that shows you initiated the contact? if not whole convo pls

    I texted her today to see where she was and didn't get a reply.
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...e-replied.html

    How do I proceed? Next?
    read up on being alpha

    and id say if you're kinoing , turn it up a notch

  5. #5
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    She was awesome before any alcohol was involved; I thought the same thing so we'll see where it goes. I guess I have to stay in the mindset that I'm selecting a girl, not I'm trying to be selected.


    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Neptune View Post
    She sounds like a crappy person. I'm not about wasting time on girls w/ lame personalities. If you are going to back down when an alpha shows up then you are going to have trouble. Def read up on being alpha and maintain that mindset.

  6. #6
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    Thanks for the link - I'll check it out. I started the whole PUA thing when I got to college so I'm definitely still learning! Any other advice/resources would be awesome!
    search the list of experts there's a whole lot of awesome guides that have been written and help in some way shape or form

    She was awesome before any alcohol was involved;
    this can't really be helped in the early stages but i'm not sure where i stand with letting her know she changes when she drinks and not in a good way --> if she gives me a lecture (like my ex did) ill let her know the next day not to do it (showing that i won't take her sh1t and alcohol isn't an excuse)

  7. #7
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    Thanks for that - I've been trying to find some good things to search here; there's just so many threads it's hard to sift through them all.

    As for the situation with the girl, it was weird. It was like she was acting playful about not wanting to talk to me, but she took it further, further as she drank more and more. Her friend that is interested in me was there too, so that might have caused that. Who knows...


    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    Thanks for the link - I'll check it out. I started the whole PUA thing when I got to college so I'm definitely still learning! Any other advice/resources would be awesome!
    search the list of experts there's a whole lot of awesome guides that have been written and help in some way shape or form

    She was awesome before any alcohol was involved;
    this can't really be helped in the early stages but i'm not sure where i stand with letting her know she changes when she drinks and not in a good way --> if she gives me a lecture (like my ex did) ill let her know the next day not to do it (showing that i won't take her sh1t and alcohol isn't an excuse)

  8. #8
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    maybe she's one of those chicks that gets depressed when she drinks that's what it sounds like, you could ask her how come she's gone so quiet and take it from there, it'll show that you're paying attention to her queues but won't come off as needy, because your genuinely curious

  9. #9
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    maybe she's one of those chicks that gets depressed when she drinks that's what it sounds like, you could ask her how come she's gone so quiet and take it from there, it'll show that you're paying attention to her queues but won't come off as needy, because your genuinely curious
    I know its common place to enjoy alcohol at our younger ages, but when it gets out of hand or its "overly habitual" it can become problems.

    I called out a girl who was sort of hot-cold, i.e being flirty/teasy then going dry, and it seemed half the time I was texting her she was coming from a party or at one.. However she wasnt out of control and it related to the more so of getting out of the box, and as we got more comfortable it was common and fun after the initial stages ...sort of had to feel each other out at first to see what was acceptable. Every body acts a bit different and gets more loose when theyve been sipping on juice.....but more so once people get comfortable around each other things can progress more smoothly.

    Some hold back what they say, then it may slip out and one party may get offended or scared off. As well sometimes girls test guys by saying these type of things to see how they handle it. Don't get eliminated....

  10. #10
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being gamed, a backup, or just oblivious?

    I completely agree with you, my ex used alcohol to give her the confidence in social gatherings, on her own she was fine, but the quality of the woman also matters I'm not sure how it is with this girl but for me I find that If they can't go out without having booze shows where they are pretty clearly


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