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  1. #1
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    I know a HB9 who is a good friend of my ex (also HB9, but most girls think she is THE HB10) who is dating someone else now. HB9 dated one of my good friends for a month before my friend dumped her and has gone back to dating his previous ex long-term. Now I think HB9 has not been in a romantic/sexual relationship for a few months now, it's even possible that she is not completely over her ex (the friend of mine who I mentioned above).

    We were not friends or anything, just said hello when we met and smiled at each other but that's it. In the past months she has started to like my facebook photos and activity. In November we met at a Halloween party where she started to flirt with me hard (she was drunk, so was I), than we kissed on the dancefloor for at least 1 hour, I touched her wherever I wanted, I even started to stimulate her through her tights and she put her hand in my pants. I know, I should have gone for more immediately as she lived 10 minutes from the party, but I became too drunk to make the move. I told her that this affair should stay between the 2 of us and she accepted (I was not sure of my friend's reception of this)

    We walked to her place with her girlfriends and 2 of them slept at her's (they mentioned it before). When we walked I didn't talk to HB9, I was chatting with another girl, when we said goodbye I wanted to say bye with 2 kisses on the cheek (thats the trend in my culture) but she kissed my lips in front of everyone. By this time she seemed really drunk.

    Then half an hour later she called one of her girlfriends who was with me that 'she is sending me a warm greeting'.

    Now it might seem that all went well, but this was more than a month ago now and we haven't made much contact since then. For like 2 weeks I did not have enough time to set up a date for us, then when I had time I 'asked her out' like this:


    Me: Hi Girl A, we're meeting today at Xy at 9.00, you and me. You don't have to wear the cat costume you wore last time but dont disappoint me[I
    (i think this was a good opening message)

    HB9: Hi *mitkoberba*, i'll be at Xy at 9.00, Girl B and me. I'll have to disappoint you[

    I messaged her one and a half hour before the planned date. I read her message but I haven't replied to that, since then we bumped into each other in a party which was almost ending where she was dancing with some other guy (the younger brother of her ex!), we smiled at each other and said hello but my friend told me that he spotted her looking at me on the dancefloor. I dont remember too well, but I think I was a bit AFC that night not trying to talk to her, it was simply not my day...

    We haven't talked since then and another 2-3 weeks has passed. She liked some of my facebook activity, but I dont think thats a big deal because usually a lot of people like my photos and statuses.

    How to progress from here? I thought I would just repeat the way I tried to set up a date the first time. 'Hey HB9, I'm taking you out to skating on Tuesday. We're meeting at 19:02 at the entrance, dont break my heart this time (come up with some cocky funny if you have a more creative one). Someone adviced that I shouldn't ask her out on a date just take her with my friends to have some drinks or party.

    My dilemma is that I might have waited for too long and it will come out of nowhere for her - on the other hand, I think it shows that her rejection didn't shake my confidence.

    This is more or less the first time when I try to go direct and make sure that a girl feels that I want to be more than friends.

    [I have already sent this message in private to some of the best posters I know here, got some decent answers, but I'm still not sure what to do. I don't want to blow this.]

    Update: this girl feels extremely cheated, I know this from a mutual friend. We should might consider this as this may change my plan to get her.

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    It simply comes to whether you want high risk/high reward or low risk/low reward. Asking her out directly is high risk/high reward because you haven't run any attraction game in awhile. Yes she may have some leftover interest from before, but a lot of guys make the same mistake of thinking they can pick up where they left off with a woman. Attraction is a flame that needs to be tended. If not it simply dies out.

    However, if you pull it off then you've just skipped some of the toughest steps in game. Period. So again...high risk/high reward or low risk/low reward?
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    If I choose the latter, how should I go? I don't have her number, I can only contact her on Facebook or 'accidentaly' bump into her in some parties. I can do that if I want, she always joins to events on FB she is attending.

    Asking her out to join my friends to have a few drinks - I do not think it is too direct.

    I would appreciate further help from anyone!

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    I think you just answered your own question. If you know she shows up to Facebook events then you could easily bump into her. Then you can start from scratch and rebuild that attraction.

    Remember...the attraction phase should take no more than 20 min. That's your goal. If you don't make it, no big deal. But try to shoot for less than 20 min.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    if u bump into her again, rely on ur PUA knowledge and make it clear u r interested.

    keep things friendly and fun. if she accepts or sees u wierd.

    go in with the knowledge that she is not interested and she prolly isn't since u admit ur AFC on her.

    if u seriously want her, then ur gonna need to make other options (girls) happen for u. u r so hung up on her u've been tracking her activity... nuff said.!

    to get the girl u want, u must have the knowledge and confidence from getting other girls.

    1) approach
    2) use PUA
    3) KINO boldy as far as u can then scale back one step when they show discomfort
    4) keep it fun - interesting - and exit with number

    after a while - u will get ur dates in... ur text/FB game improves. if u still want her, she will see/feel ur difference.

    make sure she's done with her ex for couple months.

    u can do it.!

    GL.^*

  6. #6
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    I wouldn't say I'm hung up on her, I have kiss closed another girl last weekend and there really are other girls in the picture, but I admit she has been the hottest one recently.

  7. #7
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a heartbroken, already K-Closed, cold HB 9

    that's good - u get the idea

    there is always one that does shine... but i hope even she doesn't make u stumble.

    keep ur gAme strong.

    cheers.!


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