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  • 1 Post By YOKiTran

Thread: Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

  1. #1
    nealcaffrey is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

    Hi there,

    There is this girl I used to work with and we both liked each other. But our contracts expired and we didnt meet after that, but we still kept in touch online. I did the biggest mistake of telling her I liked her and I said it online. She didnt take it that well. That's when I found out about these techniques of picking up women.

    She cut me of all contact after I said that and as an explanation she only said I made things awkward between us by saying it.
    Recently I saw her somewhere closeby to where I work and she tried to avoid me. I am not desperate or anything like that but, Im still new to all this even though I've had my fair share with girls.

    My main problem is building comfort with her now. Im not sure what to say when we meet again. I know her very well and I know exactly how she's going to react when we come together next time. Im sure some of you must have already come across situations where the challenge is to build comfort with a girl who isn't interested.

    Would very much appreciate if anyone could give me advice on what to say to make her be comfortable around me again because we used to be very close. cuz at the moment she's going to avoid all normal conversations like work, uni, family matters where as previously she used to tell me everything. I know exactly what not to say.. but in my case Im not sure what to say. Im sure there is a way. Much appreciated. Peace OUT!

    D

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

    dear Neal,

    first, u DON'T know her well... if u did, u wouldn't be asking on this forum.

    if u come expecting a result from an action, u will be surprised that it is not always the result u want... and then ur ego is checked.

    she could b going thru all kinds of stuff - ex BF, fam issues, etc... u don't know what her situation is. but, u know, u shouldn't care.

    be a man and confront her, but keep things light and polite as if awkward didn't happen.
    example:
    1) hey hot girl.!! (jokingly)
    2) move to her quickly
    3) Stacy - it's not 12-21-12 yet (Mayan Apocalypse) girl... why have u been avoiding me.?
    4) reason (don't take answer personally)
    5) (light and polite) well, i'm missing the chemistry we use to have.
    6) convo - PUA
    7) (whip cell phone out) i gotta go soon
    8) c'mon, let's do something on XX (gauge a good day for her)

    if she's interested, she will accept or give u another day.


    don't waste too much time being around the bush and i don't think there is reason to build comfort up to get her to hang out... u already have a good history.

    GL

  3. #3
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

    It sounds to me like you were friend-zoned and when you stated the fact the you liked her, well you scared her off.

    You didn't know any better and that's fine as long as you learn from it. Don't wait for her to come around there are other women out there. So now that you found this forum use the advice and work on your game all aspects of it!!!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  4. #4
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

    @PUA

    i think ur just guessing her behavior... again, we dunno why she's avoiding him.?

    @Neal

    if u really want to know where u stand, u have nothing to lose but to ask... if u look at a girl u like and allowed her to walk thru ur life without finding out....... well.....

    Cheers

  5. #5
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

    There is no actual way of knowing the truth and yes I do agree with you that he should still try its not a lost cause, but he shouldn't put all his eggs in one basket.
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  6. #6
    nealcaffrey is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Building comfort with a girl who at the moment hates you

    Thanks guys,

    1) Im pretty sure we weren't in the friends zone.
    2) She had a very rough relationship before me so she was very protective with me.
    3) I think im have a basic understanding of how to approach her now.

    But still I don't know whats going on in her life right now. It could be so much different. I think I have a way to figure this out I might just walk up to her and ask her straight up. We haven't met each other for almost 3 months now so the bonds more or less broken. Thats why I need to build comfort first and have no awkwardness at all.

    so any lines I could mention to make our conversation less awkward.. Like if she turns around at the first glance of seeing me how can I open up to her?


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