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  • 1 Post By Autismus

Thread: dating for fathers?

  1. #1
    Cpt.Nemo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default dating for fathers?

    I'm curious what experience the community can share re dating for men with kids?
    Online dating seems to be a waste of time since girls seem to just look at 'has kids' flag and immediately close my profile.
    I also had similar feedback from girls I met in person who would not want to continue after finding out that I have a child.
    About me: mid 30s, well groomed, athletic, personable, my game can always be improved but the conversational, kino and body language skills are at the level.
    Any advice would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: dating for fathers?

    I'd suggest just not bringing it up on the first date. Intimate family situations are more of an after-you've-slept-with-her conversation topic IMO; just talk about you and talk about her.

    P.s. Telling her you don't have a kid would be lying - but not telling her you have a kid is the same as not telling her how many times you've seen each Batman movie... doesn't need to come up on the first few (pre-close) dates.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    Cpt.Nemo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: dating for fathers?

    Thanks for the response!
    Totally understood, but somehow this ?n always comes up. here's a recent example: great date with a girl, she's all over me, hugging, laughing etc
    Then she starts telling me how she had this horrible date with a guy who had 2 kids, and "how great it is that you don't have any"... I of course said I do, she almost cried, moved away from me, the date was pretty much a write off since she never recovered and I quite frankly got pissed by this behavior - it's not like I have AIDS or something, just a kid.

    And on POF in the online profile there's an explicit question about it - answering it as 'don't want to tell' is lame...

  4. #4
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    Default Re: dating for fathers?

    Just for clarity: my last 4-5 dates this subject came up EVERY SINGLE time somehow. Not sure how to manage it since when it does come up I always answer straight up since lying just isn't soemeting I do...

  5. #5
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    Default Re: dating for fathers?

    Hmm... here's a few ideas:

    Classic misdirection:
    Her: "I went on this date with a guy who has kids, Im glad you don't!"
    You: "Oh yeah, that's a deal-breaker huh? So what was he divorced? Really, though you seem like you'd be into the whole soccer dad thing" *cheesy smile*
    (Make it a conversation about her not dating guys with kids or about her type rather than a conversation about kids)

    POF:
    Have you had any success with women in your same situation? I've seen quite a dew milfs on there
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  6. #6
    Skygod3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: dating for fathers?

    There is an online dating site here in Australia that has options for putting whether you have kids or not. I put my kids are my first priority as do a lot of single mothers. In fact there is a group on it just for single parents. We also have what's called over 28 nights here which can be sad later in the night. I went into this one club early and was surprised to find 20 something year old females there looking for older guys. As one girl said to me "if young guys can go for MILF why can't we go for DILF". I'm proud to be a father so I never deny or hide it. I will let it out in conversation and if a woman didn't want anything to do with because of my kids then I really don't want to know her.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: dating for fathers?

    You have better shots with women who already have kids obviously. But you do need to formulate a strong frame when it comes to the kid subject with women who do not have kids. Which basically means you have to have a way to twist it into a positive thing for them rather than a negative. Here are some ideas (building off of what you have said)...

    " I have never had a more fulfilling life than when I had kids. It made me grow up faster than most men and I see the world as a worthwhile place to be in. Rather than living on the fast track with no goals. It's a great experience to be able to pass on your knowledge and life lessons to someone, preparing them for the real world. I can't stand when women hear that I have kids and automatically assume that I want a replacement mother. It's not like I have AIDs! Kids are a natural part of everyone's lives."

    You don't have to say this verbatim, but this might help to shape it in a positive light. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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