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  • 1 Post By stitches12811

Thread: autopsy needed on good potential LTR

  1. #1
    stitches12811 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default autopsy needed on good potential LTR

    I have been having a tough time with an alpha female and I think it is finally dead. here was a previous post about it.

    http://www.puaforums.com/ask-expert/...shman-pua.html

    1 week of no contact. I had some oneitus feelings this week but after some time out in field and messing with other chicks that is gone. I would rather know what I did wrong and if it can be saved, but knowledge is my first goal here.

    About four weeks of texting and phone conversation, I get tired / impatient of all the investment that she wants and the serious energy trying to maintain alpha frames with her. It finally comes to a head one night when I say I am not looking for a penpal relationship and we need to actually go out. She says that for December she really did not want to be dating anyone, she will be traveling and needs to spend time with her family. If I am single in January I should hit her up.

    I figure I am PUA and no need to put up with this so I tell her it was nice to meet her and that she is a great person and have a nice life. a few hours later she texts me back and basically back paddles all that BS. I still freeze her out for a little . finally we get a date planned. She asked me to meet her. I hung in for a long time and the date was 10 days ago. Go to a nice resturant that also is a bar. It gets seriously physical during dinner and then when we go to the bar. Conversation and escalation goes on for another hour or so. We are in a quiet corner of the place so it goes nicely.

    I really liked the convo with this girl and had thoughts that this could could be a LTR. It is a thursday and she does have to work early the next day so we all it a night. On the way home she says she held back since she didn't want to make a serious public display. I tell her well there is no reason we cant pull of the road as I am pulling off the road. Some more heavy make out in the car. She is giving me all kinds of verbal IOIs along with the physcial. She is leading some of the interaction, but near the end I take control. When I grab the back of her head and yank back she goes absolutely wild. Then I get the LMR's I do my best but she is alpha and cuts it off. I take her home not wanting to push my way into the shitter.

    Saturday I send her a text and we have some general convo. She says she has to go see an aunt down in San diego and we are in Los Angeles so she is out for the weekend but says she cant wait to see me soon. I ask her what her week is like and she said, kind of snippy, to ask her monday. I decide to wait until Tuesday just to maintain alpha.

    Tuesday I send a text. Nothing in response. Thursday I send a text. Nothing back. It is now Sunday.

    This girl got under my skin for good reasons and for oneitus reasons. I figure with the holidays things might be rough or stressful ( the guy who she was going to marry died tragically a while back. I know little of the story but dont know how long ago this was ), or I just plain fucked it up. Would love some insight on what I did and where to go from here. When i was aggressive with her in the past to get out and be together she shut me down. We talked about it and I told her it was personality and I wouldn't do it again.

    Advice?

    Thanks

    Stitches.

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: autopsy needed on good potential LTR

    Stitches

    u wrote so much - so i read 3 paragraphs only... but i think i have a good answer.

    so u don't error on ur next one, drill into ur memory:
    1) no matter how much u put out, she doesn't owe u anything
    2) u put expectations on someone u don't own, and then get frustrated/mad she did not respond the way u want.
    3) outline to ur target what u want from them - earlier the better... i dunno how u put up with her so long and she hasn't relented and sounds like she keeps pressing to friend u.

    in my experience with alphas - they don't respond so well to nice and gentle when u want something from them.... i think u did a good job of letting speaking to her like u did.... but did u wait the whole relationship to be this way.?

    this girl sounds good... i really like women who tell me what they want.

    i just was hoping u'd tell her what u want or u go.^^;

    sorry - i'm texting outside in -10 weather - so i didnt read ur wholr post

    hope this advice helps

  3. #3
    stitches12811 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: autopsy needed on good potential LTR

    Thanks YOKi,

    1. Good point, just seems a little odd to go hot and heavy and then go silent for no reason. Any ideas why?

    2. I was okay with the LMR, it didnt make me mad. Thinking LTR with her so not so worried. The girl from last night was a one nighter so I know the difference.

    3. I am thinking of waiting until mid next week and just calling. I could care less about if it is text or phone, and that way I can gauge quickly and in live. I like girls like this as well and dont want to let this one get away.

    Quote Originally Posted by YOKiTran View Post
    Stitches

    u wrote so much - so i read 3 paragraphs only... but i think i have a good answer.

    so u don't error on ur next one, drill into ur memory:
    1) no matter how much u put out, she doesn't owe u anything
    2) u put expectations on someone u don't own, and then get frustrated/mad she did not respond the way u want.
    3) outline to ur target what u want from them - earlier the better... i dunno how u put up with her so long and she hasn't relented and sounds like she keeps pressing to friend u.

    in my experience with alphas - they don't respond so well to nice and gentle when u want something from them.... i think u did a good job of letting speaking to her like u did.... but did u wait the whole relationship to be this way.?

    this girl sounds good... i really like women who tell me what they want.

    i just was hoping u'd tell her what u want or u go.^^;

    sorry - i'm texting outside in -10 weather - so i didnt read ur wholr post

    hope this advice helps

  4. #4
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: autopsy needed on good potential LTR

    --// 1) no ideas why - but u can just ask y. otherwise, waste of time to figure out y.

    --// 3) even if she's great like this, if u can't communicate on the same wave or it's like pulling teeth to make her bend - she can still be a psycho.

    example for u:
    my recent ex
    1: freely gave me money and presents
    2: amazing cook
    3: babies me
    4: lots lots friends
    5: fun - travel
    6: blah blah blah...

    but - she HAS to have things her way or highway. if she believed an elephant was a giant dog - u couldn't tell her otherwise - she would cut u up. she even told me this - lol.

    have u checked how she was raised.?

  5. #5
    stitches12811 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: autopsy needed on good potential LTR

    Awesome info, thanks for sharing that. Having had some major crazies in my former afc life I am super sensitive to the potential so I purposely try and overlook some things. I don't want to be assigning some quality that doesn't exist. I do get a whiff though of something. She is alpha to the extreme even when it comes down to the smallest thing.

    My work life is all about being in control of a lot of people so I don't mind someone else taking some control in my personal life, but when I want something, i don't want to be messed with.

    She seems to have been raised right but I have to see the mother before I make an informed decision. My last ex was nuts and so was her mother.

    Thanks again

    Stitches


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