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Thread: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

  1. #21
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    Okay.
    She knocked on my door.
    I opened my door.
    She said Happy Holidays.
    --Are you already leavin? I think we should have talked about what happened between us. I think we both got used to this situation so it is no longer embarassing to talk about it.
    She said: I think we have already done that.
    I replied:
    --Yeah but you've said that this whole thing came out quite bad for you and i wanted to know why you think so.
    --Well yeah it did. It was quite stupid, and we didn't think it through.
    --But by your writing i felt more than regret or shame. I would like to know what this all meant.
    --What could have it meant to you?
    --Ask it and i will answer.
    --Well, what did it mean to you?
    I looked away thinking, scratched my chin then looked back deep into her eyes and said:
    --I didn't regret what we did, but i don't like this coldness that is between us now, and i cannot figure out what made this sudden change in you.
    --I am not cold, but you are. What happened was too fast. And that summarizes what i feel.
    3 seconds of silence we just looked at each other. (awkward silence)
    I said:
    --Because i don't think what was between us can continue in the same way. I won't be able to look at you that way anymore.
    --It is too bad that you won't be able. It is not that big of a thing, i mean we didn't have sex.
    --Yeah but we crossed the line, and i don't think i would be able to continue our relationship as it was before.
    I didn't say anything, just looking at her she was looking at me smiling.
    --You should just go with the flow, not thinking about it. Well my hickeys have already started fading. I know yesterday you smiled because i wore a long necked shirt. ;we laughed at this.
    --Well yeah. --said I.
    My mind was quite fogged the whole time, i was nervous, talked in a soft voice, slowly.
    --I said: Well okay then bye. (very soft, and barely audible)
    So i hugged her. Gave a kiss on her cheek then tried if i can steal a kiss, but she tilted her head away so i had to give the other kiss on her cheek as well. Then we stood for like 2 seconds with my hands on her hips.
    I then walked around her and unlocked the front door.
    She said:
    --Oh you are so timid.
    then she said: --So it is not that big deal, you shouldn't stress on it.
    She started to tie her shoes.
    After like 10 seconds i said, while she was tieing her shoes.
    --Because what is between us is good.
    --Yes.
    She stood up and said:
    --But i was the one who got scared more by this whole situation, and still i am the one who act more cool, while you look kind of sad and stressed.
    --Because i don't know what this whole thing evoked in you. And thus i don't know how to respond to the situation.
    --Yeah but if it was just a joke and trolling as you said we would have stopped. - i said
    --Actually we did, you shouldn't stress on this.
    we looked into each others eyes again. And as weird as it can be i tried another hug and kiss thing with the same effect as before.
    --Now am i trolling? - she said.
    --Do it if you want it. - i said. Turning away.
    I opened the door for her. She said with her hand on my shoulder not even looking at me:
    --I say it is okay.
    Outside she half turned back wished happy holidays again i said "bye" and closed the door.
    Then went to smoke a goddamn cigarette and posted the earlier reply.

    My aura was kind of needy, timid, boyish the whole time.

    So this is it.

  2. #22
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    at least its out there... and u did it well and polite.

    so time to break it down.

    1. did u start the whole greet with ur question.?
    imagine ur responce when u hear: "we need to talk"
    --// feel defensive.?

    2. did u ask abt her feelings first.?
    -// Alex: stacy, how do u feel abt us.?
    -// HB: just as friends
    -// Alex: u don't feel we have great chemistry.?
    -// HB: course i do
    -// Alex: i like when we get physical.? do u enjoy them.?
    -// HB: yea, i enjoy it... it was wierd yesterday.
    -// Alex: yea, i was wierded too, because i found out i felt
    -// something different and good - and i didn't know
    -// how to react.
    -// Alex: u feel good when we're together.?
    -// HB: of course.
    -// Alex: i want to start dating u... what do u think.?
    -// HB: i got a lot going on - i just wanna b friends
    -// Alex: ok... but i only want to explore dating u and this
    -// is where i stand.

    do u this would have went better.?

    i don't like too much talking... to much exploring of feelings. as this girl is better off quickly reacting than she is when u ask abt her thoughts on the whole matter... to boot, u said let's talk abt yesterday in detail without putting her in an easy mode.

    this is all hindsight now... good for future referance.

    leave her alone and wait for her to respond. she now needs to decide how valuable u r to her.


    GL

    PS... i still like being seductive.^^;

  3. #23
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    Thank you for breaking it down.
    It was helpful to see how i could have done.

  4. #24
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    I've been a recluse pretty much my whole life except my early childhood.
    I had been beaten up and terrorized on a daily basis by classmates and pretty much everyone who got in my way from kindergarten throught primary school to highschool. So my coping strategy became total isolation. Right now i don't have a single friend in my life neither the social, communication skills or self-esteem, confidence to get my farking life off the floor. What would you recommend me, where could i start improving these things and how?
    PS: don't worry it is not some kind of desperate savemeiamsuicidal kind of post. I would just like to receive your opinion on this matter.

  5. #25
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    it's koo Alex... if u and i were naturals - we would not be here sorting it out.
    (a nod to recently retired Cody)

    little background
    i am also a recluse.
    parents weren't really around - no male figures in my life
    moved a bunch
    awkward HS years
    poor
    joined military - moved more
    real friends r far away
    lost 3 close friends where i'm at (differences)
    JUST broke up last week - Holidays coming
    blah blah

    but, u know... u have a good attitude -- the girl likes u for a reason
    and ur here on forums - so ur starting to look inward to improve.

    and, like me last year, u can grow a strong u..... right now sh1t is bad for me, but i know it's not beyond me to make it better...

    ask what u want - search and learn a better u.

    u will get success and confidence will come.... and then life isn't so hopeless even when ur in a bad rut.^^

    did u read "The Game" yet.? start there

  6. #26
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    Thank you, and keep up bro! I've already read the Game, and went through pretty much all the pickup materials available, didn't practice them though. I think i would just blow the dust off my NLP books and start working on my inner game. If i fix that it may become easier.
    Thanks for your help!

  7. #27
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    NLP is still confusing for me at times so i stay away.... all i like is anchoring.

    try this post on inner game... its abt Cody's direct game, it describes the mindset u want.

    My Direct Game Frame - Cody

    cheers

  8. #28
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    I decided not to follow this girl. Partially because i am too much of a wuss to make another move, the other part is because although i gave her all i could and told her how i feel about this all, she became distant and now avoids me. She hurt my pride really badly. I know i made mistakes, and all i can do now is take the responsibility for it. I've gone through 7 years of clinical depression. And i am only 20. Many people whine about hitting rock bottom. I've lived there for 7 f*cking years. I must get my life back. I must get better. I must turn this around. I already became too attached to her. I am so fed up with all this. I deserve joy, pleasure and happiness in my life. I gave her all i could, i was with her when she felt the worst. If she still wants to get me out of her life so be it. No pussy worth this much pain. I would rather go to a goddamn whore to lose my virginity, i maybe would come out of it better.

  9. #29
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    UPDATE:
    I've lost my virginity to this girl.
    She moved away. Convinced her to stay for a last day we can spend together. And since her old room wasn't heated up i told her that she should sleep with me if she didn't want to freeze to death. She agreed. In bed i said with a playful grin: I don't even get a good night kiss? She started making out with me. The rest is history...


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