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Thread: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

  1. #1
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    Hi guys! I am new to the forum, but i've pretty familiar with most PUA concepts for a while now.

    There is a girl who is 2 years older than me. I am 20 years old and still a virgin so my lack of game probably contributed to the current events.
    So I've known this girl for 3 months now and there was a mutual attraction between us. We are veryy much on the same wavelength. I think i've build up more than enough comfort in this three months. We watched movies together, laughed, and she told me things she would never tell anyone. And many times she told me that she trusts me more than anyone.
    As for Kino escalation we didn't really proceed further from sensual hugging. But occasionally she brough up the topic of sex, and even qualified herself to me. I could have had many opportunities to escalate towards sex with her because she brought up sex as a conversation topic many times and i could sense that she tested me because she would be interested to proceed that way.

    Yesterday we chat on facebook teased her, build more attraction, and she brought up sex again so we talked about that. Things got pretty hot because she came into my room with only a towel on her to bust my balls a little bit. Then went back to her room. Later she came back to my room and we smoked, she ran shit test which i've failed, she continually busted my balls with comments. Then i left her and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea to myself. She followed me grabbed my ass, we teased each other by fake kiss closes. And all of a sudden we hugged and she started biting my neck. Heavy make out started. I grabbed her and went to my room. We had petting. Pretty much everything except actual sex for an hour. But because i had no condoms we stopped, talked a bit smoked a cigarette and she went back to her room.

    This morning she messaged me. She definately felt regret. Said that we were stupid last night. But things like this happen. She got scared not ready for something like this. She doesn't want to screw up things between us. And she also invited me for a lunch tomorrow because she hopes we could work on so that this won't hurt anything that was between us before this, so that we won't be embarassed in each others company. etc..

    She is experienced while i am not. I know i wasn't pretty good, but still when i told her that i don't have condoms she seemed disappointed. But she is very disciplined when it comes to sex. She rejects the idea of having sex with a stranger just because of some sudden impulse. Yet she had one night stands before.

    I can't get a read on this. Is this buyers remorse or am i being friendzoned? And what can i do to make things better and continue proceeding towards sex and probably even LTR?

    Thank you guys!
    AlexGB

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    ur hesistancy to close is making her feel slutty. before, she trusted u enough to part her legs, and now she feels dejected and unsure/confused.

    i tell women (I TRUST) that i shoot blanks when there's no condom. i knoe this is HoRRIBlLE way to live, but i hate condoms.

    listen, if u haven't done her yet, u need to ask urself if u have a problem and address it... ask urself, what would a REAL MAN have done.? most likely, sex.

    when u see her - n ur alone...
    -// 1. don't say sh*t
    -// 2. look at her quietly - cock ur head and warm smile
    -// 3. she says anything does whatever, keep quiet
    -// 4. approach her slowly and nod in agreement w/ w/e she says till ur in her space
    -// 5. look at her lips - look at her eyes - LOOK at her quietly - she's yapping
    -// 6. kiss her... if ur bold, hold clasp her hand slowly before u do
    --- if she doesn't like it - turn away slow and polite and go set up dishes or w/e
    --- stay in the vicinity n feel for a reaction
    --- don't say sh*t... u want her to escalate or leave

    it's time to have sex... if she says NO - then fine - freeze again.
    she is there, bro. u r not.... u need to b have a strong frame and be a man
    and if u can tell that there is no sex, then thk her for the invite and leave

    let me kno if u can stomach this..^^. this feels like its not what ur use to.

  3. #3
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    A problem is that she just came out of a relationship 3 months ago, and she is also in a very tough phase in her life. Aaand we live in the same apartment, she is only two doors from me. Yesterday she was the one who started the whole thing, she initiated by biting and sucking my neck. As for sex it was my first time so i was so nervous that i couldn't get the private to get up at all, so i told her that i have no condoms. This morning as we texted she told me that it was a stupid thing we didn't think it over, she is not yet ready for such a thing. At the same time she complained to me for like a month that she is so horny recently, and would like to do it with somebody. Yesternight i told her that we should sleep together (it was such an AFC thing but it slipped out), to which she replied "now i am gonna be a troll, only lovers sleep together and as far as i know neither of us want a LTR". I would like to solve this between us, but i am concerned that by being too straightforward now would just scare her away.

  4. #4
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    u won't scare her... u have earned her trust by being u.

    be mature abt it -
    ask urself:
    --// 1) how she makes u feel
    --// 2) what u want from her... be honest. (i'd want sex)

    now tell her 1 & 2 politely.

    she's not ready... yet she throws out all the signs... ur hesitancy is working her slut shield and she will convince herself that her inability to satisfy what she wants with u - as not being ready.

    let me put it this way... ever broke up with an ex and tell urself ur over her -- but then fold later on.??

    u want to carry in like u r -- safe/no risk ... confused as to wether to dive in or watch.....

    well then, u wanna watch forever.?

  5. #5
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    That sucks, because i think i have contributed big time for this opinion of hers. Because this morning I've agreed that this was probably a mistake, told her that i had condoms but i wasn't sure about this thing. And even agreed that we should not let this "mistake" affect our relationship. Maybe she was just testing me with it. Checking if i agree or not.

    Can i still turn this around somehow? We have more than just chemistry and attraction between us. I think we have some solid comfort built up.

    Thank you for helping me. You've shown things in a new light.

  6. #6
    rebelwithacause is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    I agree with Yokitran but also I am going to advise the "Just Friends" quip about Lunch being an express lane to the friends zone.


    essentially try to move that lunch date to a dinner one.

  7. #7
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    whatever u did to mess up - ur only recourse now is to move forward.

    in the heat of the moment - who cares what u said this morning.?

    reframe urself -
    u r the man
    she wants u
    she's making excuses

    well now - it's time to show her what she means to u
    she will kno ur desire

    ... i'm not suggesting u rape her.. u r not being sleezy with seducing her...
    but the line must be drawn clearly.

    again - be polite and firm when u let her know.

    btw, seduce her with my first post - first.
    too much talking abt feelings and exploration kills the mood

  8. #8
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    So what about this lunch thing tomorrow then? This whole day we haven't talked face to face. It looks like it would be embarassing for both of us if i just went to her room and present these heavy things. I think tomorrow might be a good opportunity to talk to her about this all. But there is the risk of getting friendzoned if i accept her offer as rebelwithacause said.

  9. #9
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    u feel awkward -- but u really dunno wht she feels -- and she doesn't know what u feel

    what u both eventually feel - is what u present in the moment.

    when u c her, be cool abt it.... nothing bad happened.

    look - yesterday was yesterday... erase it. u got the forums to help u here -- consider urself reborn.

    NOTHING bad happened yesterday... it never happened.

    be ur normal HIGH ENERGY person...

    this is a private lunch, right.??? move it to a private setting then.

    1) greet her like u normally would
    2) come in - chat a bit... rebuild comfort - LIKE u been doing
    3) stop talking... look at her... let her drone on
    4) go ahead and do my suggested steps above

    no more being around the bush...

    do u like to watch opportunities leave.?

  10. #10
    AlexGB is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give any advice? Not sure if BR or friendzoning

    It isn't a private lunch just grabbing a bite at BURGK because she received free coupons or whatshit. Ok. Screw it Let's do it.


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