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  1. #1
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
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    Default No connection after first date

    Ok, so here's my story. I had terrible oneitus for a girl, conquered it, she started falling for me and I caught it again. Was relatively nice for a while, just had the first date (bear with me, I'm young and she's never had a boyfriend).

    Made a poor decision of taking her to the movies, but we cuddled. My hand got under her shirt rubbing her stomach up and down, tickling her, holding hands, etc.

    Anyways, I texted her later, because I'm not one who plays games with a girl usually.

    I said "Hey, I had a great time =)" about 2 hours after the date.
    She responded saying "Hey =) I had a fun time too, but I don't think to be honest that I really felt anything."
    I said "Yeah, I totally get it, part of it was the setting and it was only one date lol, but yeah I felt it too. I'd love to go out again sometime though"
    She said "Idk. Like I really wanted to try it, because I guess I kinda had to and it was worth a try you know? But its just not for me, I dont think... I don't think I'd want to go out again. Not in a date type thing at least."

    She's never had a boyfriend, she's extremely smart, really cute, and she gives lots of IOIs with me and we've both made it obvious we're interested in each other. I'm not heartbroken over this, because I took her off the pedestal a few days before the date, thank god. I realized she wasn't really girlfriend material, at least not right now.


    But I'm kinda stumped as what to say.

    I'm thinking
    "Yeah I totally get it. Let's just be friends, but remember friends don't put each other in boxes."

    This good bros? Maybe something will happen with her and I down the road, she's one of my good friends. I'll keep attraction and interest up though.

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: No connection after first date

    respect her n let her do her thing... chasing will only make u more needy and DLV u.

    friends is fine... u'll figure how much u want her then.

    if u decide u want her.... shoot forums a question.

    gl

  3. #3
    Nullhunt's Avatar
    Nullhunt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: No connection after first date

    She probably doesnt exactly know what she wants, but a question though.. whyd u think it was a poor decision to take a girl out ot the movies? unless the movie itself was poor that is..

  4. #4
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: No connection after first date

    Quote Originally Posted by Nullhunt View Post
    She probably doesnt exactly know what she wants, but a question though.. whyd u think it was a poor decision to take a girl out ot the movies? unless the movie itself was poor that is..
    Yeah, I know she doesn't know what she wants. Any advice on what to do with that? I'd like to keep her on the backburner, I know she's really interested in me though (I've been reading so many alpha male/self improvement books and it's really payed off).

    I just always assumed it was a bad idea because you can't really talk as much and connect. But after I said the "LJBF, night Luisa" thing, she said "You're a great cuddler , goodnight". I know I can keep her attracted by just being me, but is there any way to get her more sure about dating? She's not emotionless, but she says she thinks thinking is better. If you've ever read the personality type stuff, I'm an ENFJ (Naturally helps for innergame ), and she's naturally more of a thinker, trying to rationalize everything about her and I.

  5. #5
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: No connection after first date

    movie is bad for first dates... u wanna maximize time doing PU, not quietly watching a screen... u can movie after u bond

  6. #6
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: No connection after first date

    Quote Originally Posted by YOKiTran View Post
    movie is bad for first dates... u wanna maximize time doing PU, not quietly watching a screen... u can movie after u bond
    She's one of my bestfriends and we talk all the time, I see her quite often with school and such. Plenty of comfort already and I know she's attracted to me because she tells me constantly lol. But I would like to pursue seeing her again, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it.

  7. #7
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: No connection after first date

    u kno her and u have a bond already... but what is the bond type.? if it's the FZ kind then want to keep if out of the movies.

    she being attracted to u is one thing, but u can still be FZ as the nice guy girls would be lucky to have.

    the understanding that needs to be created is u r a serious suitor to be recognized.

    FZ must change to FB or GF.

    nuff said.^^

    refer to this post on what happens when u want something more - but watch movies.
    skim page 3 for SLY post made @ 9:47am
    NICE GUYs - let out tension w/ the F*ck U game


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