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Thread: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

  1. #1
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    I haven't been doing as many approaches as I would like, and I have no freaking clue why. But anyways I decide to go to this pub last Saturday night, and was about to leave and this drunk guy starts chatting me up. I thought he was ok, and friendly so I stayed and talked. Well, he had no knowledge of my "hobby" and suggested I should go "open" the 3 set by us. I didn't want to, because they were sitting with a guy. And approaching a 3 set, is a bit out of my comfort zone. Well this guy wouldn't let up. For 10 minutes straight he HOUNDED me to go talk to them, so I thought "fark it, I will do it just to shut him up". I go up to the one girl and say "my friend thinks you are cute, are you single?" She goes "no I am married".

    I was about to leave and they ask me to join them. Turns out she was just saying that because she wasn't interested in him, and both girls ended up loving me!! Both really really cute too. The one, I was thinking wanted me. She likes all my status updates. Especially, when I make statuses about, me having mistletoe hanging in every room of my house. Or how men should really love woman. She even gave me her phone number with in 3 minutes of talking to her.

    The weird thing that gets me is, that this drunk guy, who I don't even know, hounded me for 10 minutes to go talk to them. He wouldn't even let me talk to other girls. Well anyways, I guess it just felt like I was meant to meet those girls.

    Well anyways I was texting quite a bit with the one, and they both added me to facebook. The one that I was interested in, kept liking my status updates and some of pics. I was texting her a lot on Wednesday and had plans to meet up with them yesterday.

    I got off work and met them at the bowling alley, I thought it would be cool to surprise my date and say "hey" beside her/kind of behind her. Well she freaked out and jumped up, she seemed so anxious. I remember reading about in The Game, never approach a girl from behind, but in this case I thought it was ok, considering we were texting and had hung out before. Also her and her sister seemed so keen on me, so I didn't think much of it.

    After that our date was a total sh1t pile. She couldn't even be comfortable with me at all. She wouldn't talk. Poor body language. Just total awkwardness. I stayed for about an hour and ejected, feeling like dung. She hasn't texted me and hasn't liked any of my facebook statuses. She also "unliked" my status saying "I have misletoe throughout my house, wanna come over to my house?"

    What's your take on this? Is she just super insecure? Or was I the complete a-hole for surprising her?

  2. #2
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    What I did today was develop an opener and talk to woman about this. I referred as it happened to my "Friend". What I was saying was this.....

    Me: "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something"

    Girl "Okkk!"

    Me: "if you went on a second date with a guy, and he came up beside you and surprised/startled you that he was there, would you lose attraction for him?"

    Out of six girls, four said no. One said maybe, depending on how much they knew each other and one said yes it's creepy. What I noticed that woman I was attracted too, based on personality alone, laid back fun attitude always said no. Oh well, I guess live and learn.

  3. #3
    hyp
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    I thought it would be cool to surprise my date and say "hey" beside her/kind of behind her. Well she freaked out and jumped up, she seemed so anxious.
    haha yeah don't do it, that was probably a nail in the coffin for you this chick back in high school awkwardly came up to me on our first date and that was a huge turn off, but on the other hand i can see it being funny you just going next to her and saying hey --but where i sit with it is don't do it, maybe after the 3rd or 4th time i would say

    Or was I the complete a-hole for surprising her?
    probably not used to guys being fun with her, or exposed to that before so nope

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    Yea I am pretty bummed about it. Should I text her, or message her on facebook say I am sorry. Or just forget it and move on?

  5. #5
    hyp
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    did she delete you from FB? cause i'm not sure who would go to the length to UNLIKE a status of someones hahaha

    well the thing is, if you're forgetting it and moving on, you can go AFC and ask her what you did to make her feel uncomfortable, this might separate you from the pack cause you're showing you paid attention to her and confirm what your mistake was And then move on (which i'm sure you'd like to know despite what most guys are probably thinking that you shouldn't be doing this but then what have you to lose? zilch zer0 nothing), because it's going to help for the next woman like her that you meet

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    No she hasn't deleted me. But I figure if I just ignore it, and don't talk to her she will. What else do I got to lose? I have to tell her I am sorry.

    She just texted me, and she says that she wasn't scared because or quiet because of that. She was just a bit off, because she wanted everyone to have a good time. And was a bit shy.

  7. #7
    hyp
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    you don't have to apologise for being you :/ don't worry about her, what i'm saying is just get feedback from her and play it from there, whether that involves dropping her so be it, and refine things for the next woman / date

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    I think you were over-thinking at it jarred the entire date. Being a master at seduction doesn't mean you just get situations to play out safe and well. A great seducer charges interactions so they have this unbelievable amount of energy between them. When you get to this level of game you realize that good game is always a bit messy. I'd rather have it charged and moving fast than continually tepid and subdued.

    The fact that you "approached her from behind" isn't what made the date go bad. Maybe it was something that she didn't like. But what most likely what made the date go bad was how you responded after realizing you freaked her out. I would bet that you became more cautious (aka more needy) instead of joking and making light of scaring her. I bet you apologized more than once (yet again needy, and lacking ability to guide her through negative emotions). Next time, realize you messed up, joke about it: "Wow! you guy's scare easy! Please don't tell me you wet yourself just now!?! THAT would make this date weird" (she'd probably tease back or just playfully say no). "Okay well, now that you guys have peed yourself in fright and gotten adrenaline pumping through you, lets go bowling." All said with a bit of surprise and a smile. Then I'd move on with the date. Whatever you make a big deal out of she will generally make a big deal out of. At the same time whatever you make light hearted and fun she will make light hearted and fun. Women are lead by emotions more than by intellectual structure or facts... This post is making me want to do a infield video to disprove a lot of these overly valued rules that should be seen more as general ideas and guidelines like "never approach from behind"

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    I agree (again apparently) with Dommer. Good game comes across as sloppy to the average eye. But what's really happening is that every mistake gives an opportunity to show how you handle them. If you apologize then you lose value. If you own up to it you look alpha.

    I think if you would've responded with "Wow how creepy was that? I guess I'll have to properly stalk you now. I charge extra for sending letters though" that it would have eased some tension that may have been created. Dommers response would also work well.

    The point is that making "mistakes"is a part of game. Yea you may screw up and do/say the wrong thing, but do you apologize endlessly for it or do you look at her, shrug your shoulders and say "Yep. I'm an asshole" and move on?
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Scacred my date by accident, now is not interested.

    Yea I apologized a couple of times (actually only twice). And then dropped it after. I didn't want to apologize too much, cause like you both said (batman and dommer said) that is beta.

    Anyways today, I texted her and she said that she was just like that, because she was nervous and wanted everyone to have a good time. She also said that I worry too much. The fact that she texted me back, right away and told me how she felt, seemed like an IOI. But whatever happens this point forward, I feel 100 times better. The game IS always sloppy.
    I think I handled it well, despite my screw up.

    Btw, I went out tonight and still # closed.

    Thanks


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