Re: Being an alpha make and my situation don't mix
If I was in you're shoes (and i have been) i would ignore her existence, and get rid of that oneitis. It's not good man, especially if you have "feelings" for her and she doesn't have them for you. Believe that you're of higher value than that and stop putting her on a pedestal like you've been.
Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.
If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.