We are room mates since 2 and half years. We have been very close friends as well. She has a boy friend back in india. And we are in california pursuing with our studies. She is in long distance relationship ever since it started. So till last week I didn't intend to do anything since she was in serious relationship. But it was new years night when we went to a night club. We were drunk and I tried to get some girls but to no success (there were plenty of fat girls). She had told me that she wont dance with anyone because she is committed and just enjoy herself. So when the third girl in our group started dancing with some guy in club she was left alone. So being a nice friend I stayed with her and we started dancing. We both felt some attraction between us. She was feeling my chest, my shoulders. I was holding her hand all the time when we were dancing. I wanted to hug her, have close dance with her. Even she felt it (which she told me a day later). She felt that she haven't felt this since a long time.
Next day, she told me how she felt. I told her even I felt the same day. She asked for my hand. I hugged her. But I said that I am not looking for a committed relationship but I like the way it felt. And I want to continue this feeling and enjoy it. Even she agreed. She said she didn't she us long way but liked the way it felt. Next two days we were holding hands, we hugged, she was so excited she wanted to kiss me, even I did but I wanted to wait for her to come at me. Couple of times we almost kissed (when we were hugging and I was smelling her). But she said " don't kiss me", "what exactly do you want from me", "what are you doing with me? It feels so good." I promised her not to kiss her till she is ready. She was avoiding her boy friend from 2 days.
I also sensed something weird in her relationship. When asked she said that her boyfriend had done something bad which she is suffering with, since past 5 years. (she didn't tell me, but when i asked do you think he has cheated on you and she said yes). But everything changed yesterday, when she told her boyfriend that she felt attraction for me and we had talk regarding it (except that we hugged and almost kissed, only the part that happened on 31st). Ever since she is saying that she doesn't feel the attraction for me. Her boyfriend is really upset and hurt after hearing this.And she just want to let go whatever happened between us and not to think about it. She knew this attraction wont last long. When talking about this I went ahead to hold her hand and she pulled back. She said sorry for hurting and that I am not playing any games. The attraction was genuine and true but doesn't want to continue anything from here.
So I don't know whats happening with her right now. What is going to happen next. We stay in same apartment so we see each other everyday. I think I should have just kissed her when I got the opportunity. I feel she is playing hard to get and its her ASD (Anti-Slut Defense) that's talking. But my question is whats next?? What should I do next? I asked her how exactly she felt in past 3 days?? (apart from attraction). I asked her because I wanted her to recall the feelings and somehow get close. But she said she will answer this question later and not to think about it right now. Tell me guys where do I stand? Where to go from here?