Hi guys, I just need some advice on how to deal with a special case. I'll tell you tell you the brief version of the story, so feel free to ask for more details. The story goes something like this:
I met this girl, through a friend, and over the span of a year, we gotten real close. She always referred to me as a best friend, but I made sure never to place her on such a pedestal. Then, a few months ago, God knows why, I decided that she was detrimental to my schoolwork, and I told her that I am interested in her romantically (she is pretty hot, and I enjoy her company, but I really just wanted to get rid of her or else date her). So I proceeded with the plan, but a bit too discreetly, like: “hey, I am interested in you romantically, but because I know you see me as a friend, then we should just split”. Not surprisingly, she thought it was just a phase and told me I am going to get over her: I ditched her. She tried to get with me several times after that, but I had a hard time getting over the fact that I ditched her so I never really spoken to her the same way, and ultimately she realized that and we stopped interacting.
Recently, one of my friends spoken to her, and he told me that she misses me texting her. She also told him that she should have just gotten with me (sexually) as a joke, but my friend told me that she expressed herself in a way that made it seem like it wasn't really a joke. He thinks that the joke was a pretext for conveying her real feelings without risking embarrassment. Whether his analysis was true is questionable, but he knew her longer than she knew me, and they treat each other as family members because their actual families get together all the time (hence why my friend got to talk to her, and not because they are farking behind my back, lol). So a bit later, she texted me a “happy new year’s”, and I used her initiation to find out about her plans. She stayed home alone. I went to a club with friends. That was it. The next day I initiated the conversation, and she responded, then we continued talking for the past few days.
My texting habits are simple; I rarely reply instantly, and I try to avoid dull generic texts. She texts with the same frequency, which makes me suspicious in the context of her missing me and her also being somewhat of an avid texter. But she always replies, so maybe she is using the same tactic as me , although she could might as well be at work or with friends (she is not one of those people who text a lot in the presence of others). We usually joke, and she seems to really get a laugh out of it. We don’t talk about personal stuff, but that might be because neither of us initiates these conversations.
Now I feel like I can use some help from you guys, because I think I really like her. I want to get with her but I don’t know how to approach her. I am apparently handsome, and a lot of guys and girls acknowledge that (so did she), but I am not what you call a “player”; I often experience anxiety in social situations and it’s pretty conspicuous when I do. When I try to get intimate with someone I experience a lot of anxiety which blows my game. So what can I do to make her see me as more than a prospective best friend, or as the douchebag that threw her out of his life because he wanted to be more than just friends?