The question's in the thread title, but I guess I'll give a bit of background. It might help.
My brother gave me The Game for Christmas. It didn't make me want to become a PUA, but it did open my eyes to a lot of things. The behaviour of both women and men (including myself) makes a lot more sense now.
(I can't think of how to keep this brief, but I'm trying)
Anyway, mere days after finishing the book I got LJBFed by a girl I met back in August. She doesn't live very nearby - we've seen each other a total of 5 times since then, but most of our contact is in the form of almost-daily Facebook chats that are usually pretty long.
I first indicated that I was interested in sex with her back in November. She was vague and non-commital at the time but, when we saw each other next, things did get somewhat physical. We kissed, there was a lot of touching and physical closeness, but things didn't escalet to a particularly sexual level. I was still getting a vague, non-commital vibe.
That vibe continued until four days ago when, during a Facebook chat, she LJBFed me.
I've been LJBFed a ton of times, but never quite like this. She genuinely seemed desperate to be more attracted to me, but just isn't. She's as frustrated as I am, maybe more so.
This would have confused the sh1t out of me before I read The Game (and did a little firther research), but now I can look back on our interactions and see pretty clearly how we got to this point. I can see just how seperate 'liking' and 'attraction' are. And I can see that, while it makes me uncomfortable, freezing her out is the best thing to do (I never thought I'd see it this way, but it actually seems to be what's best for HER).
So that's what I'm doing. And it's having a rapid and potent effect. I don't exactly what kind of effect, but whatever it is, it's strong.
(I feel the need to mention that there is another guy in the picture. I don't know exactly what's going on there. She only ever mentions him when she's complaining about him pissing her off. Thanks to The Game etc. I can now see that all the things that he does to piss her off, are the EXACT same things that make him attractive to her. She kinda sees this too. Kinda. She's quite confused and helpless at the moment.)
When she LJBFed me, I was very honest with her. I told her almost straight away that I was thinking of 'being a d1ck', of freezing her out. She didn't object to the idea, but she did seem to doubt that it would work now that I'd told her about it. I'm new to these kinds of methods, but that doesn't necessarily seem to be the case at all. It's not a trick, right? It's just a way of tapping into some deeply fundamental, powerful instincts, right?
I told her I wouldn't do it though. It may have read like a promise, but it was an expression of self-doubt. I'm not sure how she took it but, either way, by the next day I had decided to do it.
She saw me on Facebook that afternoon and said 'hi!'. I fought the almost-Pavlovian response I have to the Facebook message notification sound and carried on with what I was doing - making dinner.
I did reply, but I did so in my own time - I was doing other things and they were my priority, so she had to wait for my responses. And when they came, they were short and to the point. I wasn't being unfriendly, but I was being really boring.
She said the conversation was 'horrible', 'the worst' we've ever had.
I wasn't enjoying it, but I could see that straight away, her perception of my value was affected. She was being forced to re-evaluate and appreciate what I have now taken away.
She said she felt like sh1t because of LJBFing me. I told her I felt good (which I kinda did, actually) and that she shouldn't feel sh1tty on my account. I told her that things had to change now and why. I didn't remind her of the affect a freeze-out (I didn't call it that) was intended to have on her - the explanation I gave was based on the benefits a freeze-out will have for me personally (perspective, healthy distance, caution etc.)
She said she understood (I think she's actually trying to freeze-out the other guy for much the same reasons right now, so I imagine she really does understand).
Then I cut the conversation off so that I could go take a bath (it felt fake even though that's what I was really doing).
The last thing she said was that she would stay away and let me figure it out in my own way.
I wondered how long she'd be able to keep that up. I wasn't wondering for long.
I returned home from a fun night out last night at 3am to find a message, sent at 21:30, saying that she missed talking to me. That was 27.5 hours after saying she was going to stay away.
I didn't respond at the time but this afternoon I replied "You'll survive".
I'm finding this fascinating, oddly satisfying, occasionally funny in a weird way, and really quite uncomfortable. While I want to fark her brains out, she is, above all else, my friend and I don't like seeing her suffer. I do believe though that my motives aren't entirely selfish and that this is a situation where I really do have to be cruel to be kind. But...
I want it to end already.
Which brings me back to my original question.
Thanks in advance for your feedback.