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  1. #1
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She misses talking to me - what does this mean?

    Earlier this week I got LJBFed by a girl I've known since August. She REALLY likes me, but she's not attracted to me. She says she doesn't know why.

    I'm very new to most of this PUA stuff, but already I can look back and I can see why. I can see why she really likes me too. I've gone wrong in a lot of ways (e.g. poor kino, poor frame control) but I've gone right a lot too (e.g. I'm naturally cocky funny, tons of social proof). No wonder she's confused and conflicted.

    To add further conflict and confusion - and to counteract the LJBF - I have cut off contact. Our only regular contact is through Facebook. I made only short, delayed responses last time she tried to initiate a chat - the day after she LJBFed me - I told her things had to change and I needed some distance, then I cut off the conversation.

    She said she would stay away and let me work it out my own way.

    Just over 25 hours later she sent a message saying simply:

    I miss talking to you.

    So, in terms of PUA psychology, what's going on here?

  2. #2
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She misses talking to me - what does this mean?

    First off, making a third post on this topic probably isn't the way to go about getting help with your troubles.

    Second, this post you left out the fact that you texted her back saying "You'll survive." IMO that just comes across as rude. It doesn't come across as clever, witty, cocky funny, or anything else. Basically, it's like telling her to fark off without the derogative terms. You would have been better off taking basically any other action. You could have ignored her for the day, you could have told her you were sticking to your guns, or you could have come up with something witty like, "It's only been a day and you miss me already "

    Basically, I'd venture a guess that you just pissed her off with the "You'll survive" comment, and now a freeze out isn't going to work anyways.

    After reading How to Make Girls Chase, I'd say you've definitely created some attainability problems though. More than likely you've sent two mixed signals. First, you probably came across as too attainable and hence the LBJF. Second, after you chose to freeze her out, I'm afraid you've raised your made your attainaility too low.

    I really don't know how you should proceed from here, you'll have to wait for the pros to help you with that. Perhaps get back into communication with her, see how she reacts to make sure you didn't just piss her off. If you're still LBJFd then you can try to freeze her out again.

  3. #3
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She misses talking to me - what does this mean?

    You say that but then... you helped.

    Thanks for reading this and the longer version.

    You might be right about the "you'll survive" reply. I'm really in uncharted territory with the 'freeze-out', so I'm not sure what to say at all. It wasn't supposed to be funny or witty. My humour and wit are what I'm denying her. But yeah, I have my concerns about overdoing it.

  4. #4
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She misses talking to me - what does this mean?

    Quote Originally Posted by G Force View Post
    You say that but then... you helped.

    Thanks for reading this and the longer version.

    You might be right about the "you'll survive" reply. I'm really in uncharted territory with the 'freeze-out', so I'm not sure what to say at all. It wasn't supposed to be funny or witty. My humour and wit are what I'm denying her. But yeah, I have my concerns about overdoing it.
    It's not that I wasn't going to help in the longer version. It's just that I'm new to this community and I like to get other people's input before spouting my bullsh1t.

    The senior guys on here seem eager to help people and I think if your patient, generally you'll get a quality answer.

  5. #5
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She misses talking to me - what does this mean?

    I take your point. The other one is way too long though.

  6. #6
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She misses talking to me - what does this mean?

    don't worry about it. I'm not chastising you. Just giving you pointers for next time. At least you're trying to improve the quality of your posts, which ultimately improves the quality of the community!


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