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  • 1 Post By I.M.Mortal

Thread: Pretty sure its over, but...

  1. #1
    blitz8's Avatar
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    Default Pretty sure its over, but...

    Alright, starting to get my bearings a little bit but this HB 7 I've been "talking" with seems to have flaked. I won't go into a ton of detail to try to keep it short, but here's the executive summary:

    - met online (ok cupid), got her number after 3 days of emails

    - clicked from the first date, she has great personality that fits mine... been seeing her about 2x / week with active, fun activities

    - K-close on 2nd date, 3rd date I drop her off, she asks if I want to "cuddle" (there was more that that), 4th date (NYE) got the F-close

    - Here's where it starts to get weird, next time in bed a lot of foreplay, both ready to go, she asks if I have a condom (no, I'm an idiot and didn't plan to be at her place), and everything just goes cold. Instantly, she was no longer in the mood and went to sleep (WTF?!?)

    - Texting responsiveness slows down and next date gets stranger... back at her place after, seems normal (and I'm prepared this time), but she wasn't interested.... not even sure she wanted me to spend the night but didn't say anything. I should have bolted right there.

    - She texts me the next day apologizing for her mood and says it's b/c she just recently lost her job. But texts continue to not only space out more, but I get very short responses and a lot of just 'LOL's.

    - Yesterday I text her to meet up at happy hour with some of my work friends (didn't 'ask' but stated it like suggested around here), she says she is having dinner with friends, ok... I'm cool with that.

    - Text later that night just to see if she would chat... we are actually texting a decent back and forth so I go in for setting up plans for the weekend. No response. I left it alone seeing if she would respond today, nothing. I have not re-initiated either.

    I feel like there are mixed signals (can share some actual texts if needed), it could be her job thing, but I'm thinking she got bored. I know there are many other women out there and blah, blah, but anything I can try to reel her back in? Or time to walk away?

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pretty sure its over, but...

    Just play it cool. Stop texting her and see if she texts you.

  3. #3
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pretty sure its over, but...

    Yep that one went to the birds. Sucks that you guys hit it off at first but time to walk away or at the very least move on to your next prospect and do a freeze out on this one.

    Sure the job thing might've took a spark out of things, but if the chick was really into you, no job issues will stop her from seeing you. She will hold on to you like a rock in a sea of turmoil. Because I can tell you one thing, if Brad Pitt or some high profile celebrity asked her out, I can assure you, she will put her best face forward when she goes out. Job issues? What job issues? She will be qualifying to him!

    Whether or not you want to reel her back in? I mean seriously, ask yourself would you find a chick like that attractive? What attracts me is a girl who has spirit/personality and can keep me on my toes physically and mentally. The mentality you need to take is you shouldn't need to be the one putting in the energy to make it work.

    And frankly if she isn't in the right frame of mind to date, she shouldn't. Sounds like she is looking for a relationship for the wrong reasons and all the guy will be left with is some baggage. Date to complement never to compensate. Or it never works.

  4. #4
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Pretty sure its over, but...

    Echoing what was said above... pump the breaks and move on, if she likes you or shows interest again don't be so quick to jump. I've been in your shoes before, you drop the challenge to early and they get bored and move on. It happens, chalk it up to experience and take it in stride. Always another opportunity around the corner.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Pretty sure its over, but...

    Thanks guys... Pretty close to inline with what I was thinking... still a noob at this so the re-assurance helps me resist falling back to my old habits ("normally", I'd have called her, ask is everything ok... blah, blah...)

    Sure enough after a couple days of freeze-out she texted me Sat. afternoon asking what I was up to, then Sun. invited me hiking with her... I went, seemed back to normal... she tells me about how she's worried about her job, considering relocating (maybe why she doens't want to get close)

    Then boom, Monday and today, spotty texts, doesn't seem interested at all. Whether its the job thing or that I'm just a weekend activity companion, I'm taking the advice and moving on. If she texts me and its interesting I can always hang out with her.


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