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Thread: Reattract - Ask her out.

  1. #1
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Reattract - Ask her out.

    Hey,

    I got a university degree in psychology but I do this post university class for animal behaviour therapy where I met this girl (a vetrinary). She was definitly attracted to me (based on non-verbal cues) but because I'm actualy kind of a shy/insecure guy I didn't ask her out when the moment was there.
    It's important to note that people don't view me as shy/insecure, even people who know me have a hard time believing that.
    Women describe me as a verry assertive, sociable, funny,... guy. Which I think works against me because they think I have the guts to ask them out or make a move. Some women who were attracted to me also told me that they actually thought/got the feeling that I was to good for them and they stood no chance.

    The point is I like her alot but I noticed ofcourse the attraction/interest in me is fading. I'm quiet sure I'm not in the friendzone yet and she still feels some attraction for me but I'm not sure what my next step should be.
    Should I ask her out right now or first try to rebuilt attraction and then at that moment ask her out? Should I start flirting with the other women their and give them more attention or is that risky. Because in my opinion she's at the final point of deciding and I'm afraid she might think she has no chance with me. I know I shouldn't focus on 1 women so don't give me the move on advice. I'll move on when I farked it up

    EDIT: It may be important to mention that the other classmates treat/behave around us like were kind of an item together.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    Never ask a girl out until you've built attraction.
    This is a HUGE mistake that a lot of guys make.

    Relax, be calm & confident. Be playful & fun. (Fun is the ultimate attraction trigger!)

    A girl needs an emotional reason to go out with a guy; so if you haven't built attraction, you're most likely gonna get shot down if you ask her out.

    Don't worry about flirting with OTHER girls.... flirt with HER.


    It's OK to focus on 1 girl for a short time, while you work on building attraction & comfort... just don't get hung up on her while you're doing it.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    Well the attraction was allready built, but I notice know it's fading. She went from sending positive - flirting body language to more neutral body language. I bust her balls and challenge her often and I'm genuily viewed as a fun guy. I don't have to try

    So the questions more how do I go on a date with her. I haven't really built much rapport with her (I'm better at beeing fun). I don't know should I start doing that know more often or....

    EDIT: She has said things to me like 'that I'm even worse then other guys' followed be a 'haha', she's the only one who can handle me,... I viewed that as signs of attraction together with the body language her staying in my proximity, waiting for me when we leave the classroom,...

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    Here's a good follow up line you can use if you get caught off-guard by a girl's comment when she's potentially sh!t testing you...

    Whatever she says, ("You're worse than the other guys" or "You're such a freak" or "You need some serious help" or virtually anything along those lines...)

    You can reply with "Ohhh, you have NO idea!!!...." (*as you give her a sly smile & a wink, and turn your body away slightly.)

    You're not avoiding the comment, but rather, responding in a confident manner while still being playful.
    (The "negative body language" of turning away, will subconsciously trigger her attraction switches at the same time.)

    I've used this phrase MANY times.
    It works because it shows that you're completely unfazed by what she said, and you express confidence & a slight bit of mystery, which makes her more curious about you.



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  5. #5
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    Hey thx for the reply!!

    I went for: I know what is gonna keep me lying in bed awake tonight (and neg body language) ... and she replied I got this feeling there's almost nothing that can keep you from falling a sleep (in which I know discover there was or I could've pretented their was a underlying sexual context).

    But apart from that what is your advice on the next step??? Should I built rapport, disqualify more,... what should I do?

    I know one thing there was serious attraction but now... It's fading, she gave up on flirty body language,... or she's testing me but I don't think a positive way but rather to reasure herself she has no reason to pursue me.

    I already started to engage touch ( with acceptable repsons but she doesn't reinitialises it) now and then (its not as cultuarly accepted as in most countries) but i dont know what's the main other thing I should do...

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    I'm going to dig in your head a bit....only a little lol.

    The thing is that she has already won you over in your mind. But she doesn't know that yet. So the problem is "How do I show her I'm already interested without creeping her out in case she is not interested?"

    That is what qualification is for. I have preached about it many times on this forum because it is heavily overlooked. One of the reasons why this is, is because it requires us to have some sort of standards. And as men, who will turn down a pretty blonde with a playboy body? Not many. So you have to develop standards that have to do with her character and qualify her on them. Some times directly, other times indirectly. Some examples:

    - "I love a woman who knows how to cook"

    - "Why do ALL women like to go out and get trashy drunk?"

    - "If you were a little more ambitious, you'd have me on my knees begging for you."

    Some of these can convey your interest directly to her, but also displays that you aren't quite won over just yet (even though we both know you would take her if she offered herself lol. And we wouldn't blame you.) This is important because it sets you up as a challenge in her mind and allows you to display interest, but have some hang ups about her.

    There's a lot of material on qualification. Check it out and I guarantee that once you get her attracted and you qualify her properly you will have to push her away when she tries to jump on you.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    Thx man!

    I'm not a natuaral compliment giver so it's gonna be hard for me to do that.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    Quote Originally Posted by M_ROCAL View Post
    Thx man!

    I'm not a natuaral compliment giver so it's gonna be hard for me to do that.
    Think of it this way...

    For every compliment you give her, you tease something else immediately after. "You're awesome! I love you. Too bad you're so self-centered."
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  9. #9
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Reattract - Ask her out.

    I woudn't do it any other way!


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