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  1. #1
    shortandgoofy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Angry What's an IOI and what's not?

    Ok, so here's a disappointing story. This girl looked and sounded interested in me. She said she likes dancing with me, she complimented me on my guitar skills, would come up from behind and snuggle me, laugh at my jokes... so I was sort of getting hints of IOIs. I was getting ready to ask her out. And now, suddenly, through a common friend, I come to know that she has a boyfriend. Which means she had friendzoned me long before I even knew it. So here's the million-dollar question - what's an IOI, and what's not? What indicates that she would really want to date you, and what indicates that you're one of those guys she thinks "an awesome guy as a friend" but would never, ever date? How do you tell the difference before it's too late, and if possible, how do you turn things around?

  2. #2
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What's an IOI and what's not?

    This is not so much about IOIs but rather the fact that you built comfort before you built attraction, which is where friendzoned.

    She was throwing out IOI's like touch and compliments but she was doing it in a friendly way because that's what she saw you as.

    To avoid this in the future you need to be more forward and build more attraction! Flirt more, kino more etc.

  3. #3
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What's an IOI and what's not?

    Why do u think u are friendzoned???

    She has a bf... women leave boyfriends.or at least cheat on them. If u like her, keep running game. If she likes u or just breaks up with him naturally, she will act on it.

    Bf is not an automatic ticket to friendzone
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What's an IOI and what's not?

    As a man who's in an LTR I don't like the idea of men chasing taken women. It's annoying. But Lockdown is right. A bf can be an obstacle, but if he isn't doing his job she will stray. Maybe even want to leave him for you. Although I wouldn't recommend it. Rarely do those types of relationships become healthy.

    A simple way to test attraction is a compliance test. This is more of a guideline rather than a rule. But just find out how far is she willing to go for you. If she is willing to drive an hour to see you, clean your room, make you a sandwich, or take out the trash it can be a good sign. Lol not the best examples, but I hope you get the idea.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What's an IOI and what's not?

    Echoeing what Sidewinder said. You stayed in the comfort phase too long and you didn't escalate.

    IOIs are best discernible early in the relationship. I am a believer that seduction starts at "hello" and you have to catch the wave early to make the most of the ride.

    Upon first meet, there's subtle things if you pay very close attention reading her body language: preening, lilting her head, subtle glances looking at your mouth, leaning in (pecking) etc. As time goes on it becomes harder to tell, especially once she throws you into friendzone. Attraction is fleeting so if you don't escalate, you "friend."

    There is a way to get out of it, but it will take some work. I'm thinking of putting a guide out on that because this question comes out so often. The question you must ask yourself is are you ready to compete and is she worth it?

    Honestly, I think that same energy spent can be used by going out with other women and honing your game so you don't miss the wave next time (especially on a good catch). Just when you think she is "it," you are bound to come across something better.

  6. #6
    shortandgoofy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What's an IOI and what's not?

    Yeah, even though I did like her, I guess I am much better off trying to meet someone new somewhere. This is actually one of the common problems I have with girls - I start off pretty well, but then do not know how to escalate properly. General tips about escalation?

  7. #7
    shortandgoofy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What's an IOI and what's not?

    Also, can somebody answer this for me too?

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ether-bar.html

    (My apologies to the mods for using this workaround to post a link. I know I am not supposed to, but this links to within PUAforums itself)

    MOD: We fixed it for ya.


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