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  1. #1
    A380 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 2nd time FLAKE !! Confused!

    Hi Guys,
    So I met this girl at a coffee bean with her friends when she was visiting LA. She smiled and we started talking. Got her number.
    She asked me twice to come out with her friends, once I said no - had an exam next day. Next day I called her she asked me again to come out - I texted her later in the evening she Flaked.

    I added her on fb after 2-3 weeks and we started talking. She said you have to call me when you come here (I told her I was in Miami and lost her number so could not reach out)
    She has a good sense of humor and is a bit flirtatious too.

    I'm in miami again for 4 days due to some work and she lives 30-40 mins from here.

    I sent her - Guess what? I missed you so much that I flew all the way to Miami.

    I get a call from her after 2 hours. She wanted to see me that day but I was busy. She asked me what other day i could meet. I said let me check because I might be going back on Thursday or Friday morning.

    We were messaging 2 days back

    Me - Ok I leave on Saturday morning so your wish for going on a lovely date shall be fulfilled on Thursday
    Her - Awww but I have a night class on Thursday until 9.30
    Me - Well then I can meet you for a bit on Friday or we do it next time I'm here in 2 weeks
    Her - haha friday it is
    Me - So you did clear your busy schedule for me haha
    Her - Yes I did !
    Me (At 10 pm) - Anyways its bedtime. Need to be up at 6. So maybe we'll talk tomorrow sometime during the day. Night x

    No Reply.

    So i called her today, 4-5 hours back and no answer.

    2nd time flake.
    I do not get it.
    She wants to meet but then disappears.

    Try again after 2 weeks when I'm back ?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 2nd time FLAKE !! Confused!

    Alright, echoing what I've said in other posts regarding flaking. One of the biggest reasons why women flake is they don't VALUE your time. In your case, you didn't demonstrate higher value.

    "Guess what? I missed you so much that I flew all the way to Miami."

    This line is your first fatal flaw and you've set yourself up to fail. You shot your value so low it probably went through the earth's core and came out of China. Don't ever do this again. Not only you flew there chasing her, this implies that once you are there, you are willing to work around her. YOU NEED TO TURN IT AROUND AND BE ALPHA. Show her that your time is valuable and you are fitting her into your schedule or else she won't respect/appreciate your time. Sure it's romantic but save this for your girlfriend or wife, not a girl you are interested in. They won't find this attractive.

    Me - Ok I leave on Saturday morning so your wish for going on a lovely date shall be fulfilled on Thursday
    Her - Awww but I have a night class on Thursday until 9.30
    Me - Well then I can meet you for a bit on Friday or we do it next time I'm here in 2 weeks
    Her - haha friday it is
    Me - So you did clear your busy schedule for me haha

    I cringed shiver so bad when I read this I almost got hypothermia lol. You are pretty much bending over to her every whim. "Your wish shall be fulfilled?" Oh dear...OR "Then I can meet you another day?" This is a common mistake alot of guys make, following up. "How about [another day].

    You need to be the one telling her the days that you are busy. Automatically block out 2 days.

    "So I think I'm fairly free on Thursday, oh no, I can't, got an engagement. Sorry, can't do Thursday."

    Goad her into suggesting an alternate day, NOT you. NEVER SAY "So when you are free?" or "How about [x] day?" You lose. When she does suggest another day. Tell her something that.

    "Oooh okay, a bit hectic, but I can only do after 7:30 pm."

    There's other posts about flaking you should read up on. Again, you should be making yourself unavailable and fitting her into your schedule. You are putting her value waaay to high up there. Simple rewording your texts would've fixed it.

    The sucky part is next time, you are going to have to work harder. Tactically, you will have to start canceling on her.


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