Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Mondragon's Avatar
    Mondragon is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 66, Level: 1
    Level completed: 32%, Points required for next Level: 34
    Overall activity: 15.0%
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    9
    Points
    66
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default How to get rid of strong one-itis :(

    Hey guys, been reading the forum for a while and decided to sign up to discuss a nasty problem I have...

    Terrible case of One-Itis

    Been with a girl for 3 years, and in many aspects this was the perfect girl for me. On a scale from HB1 to 10, I would rate her HB11. 8 years younger than me (I'm now 34), very pretty, perfect body (matter of taste of course, but according to my kicks) and completely wild in bed. Had the best sex of my life by far with her.

    Now the thing is, she's got a bit of a borderline personality. Lots of insane arguments, countless quarrels and fights - mostly verbally, although sometimes she would also take things to physical level, throwing sh1t around, etc. Extremely jealous, you know, the works. Of course there's more sides to a person, she also truly deeply loved me, would have wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, was very into me, we deeply appreciated eachother, and we've spent lots of quality time and had many great moments (also outside the bedroom).

    Rationally, I know I could never become truly happy with this girl. Regardless of whether I *can* deal with a difficult personality like that, I don't *want* to, regardless of how nice or hot she was. I'm an easy-going guy and to some extent I expect the same from a woman.

    Emotionally, however, sh1t keeps creeping up on me. I keep thinking how "perfect" she was, that I'll never find another girl as hot and kinky as her, you know, the self-poisoning stream of thoughts...

    Have met a few other girls since (including attractive ones), had some dates, and although I didn't try to compare them or find a substitute for my ex GF, none of them came even close in the level of chemistry I felt.

    Advice?

  2. #2
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 126, Level: 2
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 23.8%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    53
    Points
    126
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: How to get rid of strong one-itis :(

    Ever read on polarity? If you're laid back, you're cool energy, if she's not, she's hot energy. If you know how to deal with it, it can be a great relationship, but the arguments are a part of the deal. Don't expect her to get easier and don't change yourself, but try to look at arguments from the funny and loving side of things.

    Like obviously there's some boundaries, but if she's pissed off because you were talking to another girl, hold her and kiss her, it's romantic, problem solving, and kinda funny. If you can look at arguments like that, you'll be much more satisfied, just don't overreact to things.

    There are certain things obviously that you need to talk about, but try to break down the walls by being loving, if you play it right, there probably won't be much to talk about after you get her calmed down with her love.

    "The Way of the Superior Man" has a lot of details on this, I'd recommend it if you wanna learn more.

    EDIT: Just read she was your ex, if you have strong feelings that she feels the same, tell her how you feel. The stuff I said still works even if your'e trying to win her back.

  3. #3
    Mondragon's Avatar
    Mondragon is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 66, Level: 1
    Level completed: 32%, Points required for next Level: 34
    Overall activity: 15.0%
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    9
    Points
    66
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: How to get rid of strong one-itis :(

    Hey man, thanks, yeah I know about polarities. And how they sometimes attract like crazy, and sometimes repel

    There have been points that I was completely unable to deal with this. I guess I've become better at it over time, but it didn't make me really happy, the level of chaos was way beyond what I still consider an interesting or fun challenge.

    Anyway, yes she's my ex and I don't see us coming together, whether I'd want to or not.

    But "way of the superior man" - yeah I think I've heard of that. Thanks, will try and pick it up somewhere.

    Any other advice or tips on getting rid of the one-itis feelings? Sometimes I'm doing OK, but there are moments she's all I can think about and it's consuming me, having crazy unproductive thoughts.

    Rationally I understand this is BS and it doesn't help me one bit, but somehow that doesn't prevent me from being stuck in it emotionally. My reason and feelings are not in sync on this particular subject, so to speak.

  4. #4
    Vicodin24's Avatar
    Vicodin24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,424, Level: 29
    Level completed: 83%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    279
    Points
    2,424
    Level
    29
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    112

    Default Re: How to get rid of strong one-itis :(

    How long has it been since your relationship ended? It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do for a while. The plus is that you're working through it. You're far ahead of other guys - keep it up.

    As for your emotional state - ever heard of the philosophy of abundance? Read up on that and implement it into your life.

    Also, one of the best threads I've read on this forum can help give you perspective on your situation - http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ame-rules.html

    Keep meeting new women, keep going on dates, etc. Speaking from experience here - it'll take a while, I won't lie. It's something that can take a toll on you. I'd recommend getting more closure if it's applicable. Keep doing what you're doing and the feelings will fade.
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  5. #5
    Mondragon's Avatar
    Mondragon is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 66, Level: 1
    Level completed: 32%, Points required for next Level: 34
    Overall activity: 15.0%
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    9
    Points
    66
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: How to get rid of strong one-itis :(

    Thanks for the support, much appreciated. Breakup was about 3 months ago.

    No I haven't heard of "philosophy of abundance" before, although from the name I have a clue what it's about. Will dig into that. Meteora's topic also seems interesting. Strong set of rules and good feedback too.

    Just to be sure, what do you mean with getting more closure if it's applicable? (not a native english speaker)
    Closure as in "closing the deal" with other women/dates? Or closure as in getting at peace with the situation and moving on?

    Cheers man.

  6. #6
    Mr West's Avatar
    Mr West is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 142, Level: 2
    Level completed: 84%, Points required for next Level: 8
    Overall activity: 3.2%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    New England, Boston
    Posts
    60
    Points
    142
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Re: How to get rid of strong one-itis :(

    I had a break up with a gf of over 3 years and it sucks, like really sucks. But when you really get down to it, and like you already stated, it's not she was perfect for you, it's more that you were "comfortable". You know eachother very well, like, disklikes, turn ons/offs.

    After all the shitty feelings go away you WILL fell much better and free.

    Just move on, there's no future in the past
    -There's no future in your past


Similar Threads

  1. One-itis.. Help me please?
    By .complete.noob in forum General Questions
    Replies: 32
    Last Thread: 01-09-2013, 09:55 PM
  2. Came On Too Strong; How to Recover?
    By eo83o in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 01-05-2013, 10:02 AM
  3. The force is strong with this one...
    By Vecen in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 11-02-2012, 10:40 PM
  4. Be Emtionally Strong
    By rs5096 in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 02-20-2012, 06:14 AM
  5. Too Strong?
    By Cordelli in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 06-28-2010, 03:41 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com