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View Poll Results: What should I do?

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  • Move on you sucker, ignore her (shes worth fighting for though!)

    2 66.67%
  • Stay friends and slowly escalate the relationship

    1 33.33%
  • Stay friends, friendzone (Fuck the friendzone, i aint about that haha)

    0 0%
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Thread: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

  1. #1
    haszan1172's Avatar
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    Default I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    okay so we met like 1 and a half month ago. it was her birthday right when i broke up with my ex. I met her approached everything was good, she had a friend too. I gave her a hug cuz it was her birthday.
    This girl is amazingly cute.
    Okay so i got her number the next day i met her. We texted and everything, however. I came to noticed that she was SOOOO OVER PROTECTED (BITCH SHIELD TO THE MAX). It took me a week to disarm this, build comfort, etc. HOWever she was sooo scared that i might fall for her cuz she has had like the worst history with guys. She is very protective of herself and doesnt want to let any one in. she even told me this. I kept asking her to hang out, she said "i dont want it to be like a date thing".

    Okay so going back, her ex visited her 3 times, second time he physically abused her. that is what she told me.
    she also has abandonment issues with her parents. fathers gone, etc.
    So i wanted to help her. HONESTLY, i fell for this girl hard. HARD i mean. We hung out the next day, took her to the mall, we smoked some weed, etc. It was amazing, she had a lot of fun, we came back late. I dropped her off home, and went home myself. (she always tells me im cocky, in a complaining way, but i prove that im not being cocky, its the perfect level of confidence, and i earned it, cocky is when ur above the limit, etc.)
    I build ALOT of DHV over time. ALOT. she flirted with me too, alot. telling me shes naughty, etc. etc.
    This girl is soo over protective though. So she tells me shes leaving, she has a flight to mexico, she goes away for a month. While shes gone, we were talking, and i slowly jumped into telling her that i liked her. She was like "omg, omg omg" i can never have a guy friend. i was heart broken. so then we kept talking for like 2 days, (texting) i told her i cannot be with her as a friend. emotions will eat me. then she panics, shes like omg. again with the whole i can never have a guy friend.
    She texts me 7 days later. and tells me she misses telling me everything, talks to me about how i make her feel confident,etc, etc. all that lovey dovey sh1t. Then she comes back after that one month, she tells me she wants to see me. I see her we hug, etc, i hold her by her shoulder, we go get coffe and sit in my car. I asked her about herslef, etc. She tells me she likes no guys, she has no feelings or anything. She is discusted in herself for what she did with her ex. she said she never liked him, she only used him, and now his life is ruined, and she doesnt want to do this to me. I asked for a chance, she said no. So i gave her an ultimatum, as i was frustrated, i was either let me go, or give me a chance. She said then that i deserve alot better than her. etc. etc. And that she loves me as a friend. I drive her home, not talking to her. she said she will still text me, etc.
    She grabbed my arm one time i passed her without loking at her (next day after the talk).
    Then i texted her 2 days later, asking for a hangout (after the talk), telling her how i dont like how i ended things off. she WENT TOTAL OFFENCE MODE.
    Telling me that she wont give me a chance, what do u want from me, etc. I kept sweet talking to her. Then she said u farked up our friendship. I said we can start over, clean slate. She said okay. (last night). And i said good night. (this was over 1 day of her being totally offence mode, the at the end i cleared the air)

    I am soooo confused. I did EVERYTHING RIGHT. EVERYTHING. WTF. Im a good/average looking guy as well. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, i dont want sex, i want a relationship wit this girl.


    and i summarized everything. this was like 100,000+ texts summarized. and talks, etc.

    so tonight is the night after this last text, i didnt text her.
    fark FRIENDZONE. THIS TOTALLY DESTROYED MY CONFIDENCE. TO PIECES. I FEEL SHATTERED.

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    There is so much going on here so I will tell you as much as I can, but I won't be able to tell you everything.

    First, you did NOT do everything right. Otherwise she would be really into you right now and not constantly rejecting you...correct? So obviously you are doing something wrong, but because you are comparing to what teachers, parents, friends, and movies have told you, you feel what you have been doing is the right thing and she is just not responding like she should.

    You are in the friend zone hard and don't realize it. That's why she freaked out saying "Omg I can never have a guy friend." She MEAN'T it. Because she didn't see you as something more than a friend.

    I am sorry you are feeling this way, but someone needs to give you a reality check. Realize that all her reasons, her "shield", are MENTAL not PHYSICAL. Meaning that they are not tangible, so not real. If she says she has trusts issues then you say, "Join the club! Who DOESN'T have trust issues." You fell into her frame and now are asking her to give YOU a chance. NOT a good position to be in. In an ideal situation she would be trying to prove to YOU why you should give HER a chance. It's all about your frame of mind. Are you the prize...or her.

    My views on your situation is this...she is trouble and you need to leave her alone. You have this feeling that you want to SAVE or FIX her. I can tell you now that, that is NEVER a good mindset to have about your PARTNER. A friend? Yes..... A sibling? Yes...... Classmate? Yes....... Your lover? NOOOO. You should be equals roughly. Not a parent/child relationship nor a counselor/client relationship. It will only bring you down and cause you more trouble than you need. I'm speaking from experience.

    However, sometimes we need to make those mistakes and learn the hard way. If you decide to keep chasing her (which you likely will) then you should learn what we have to offer. Get started on some material that is offered on this forum and get yourself a copy of The Venusian Artist Handbook. It's a good starting point and you'll learn the foundations of what we know. Hope this helped and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    haszan1172's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    Oh man. I really needed that reality check. Thanks a lot. Seriously. It wasnt her that was bothering me much. Its was the fact that i was just confused as to why shes doing that. And i thought i should be a good listener?? And i took the frame control after breaking her bitch shield. Even when we hang out she is always looking at me to c where were goimg. Or where we will eat, or hang out, etc. I was the alpha male. But the thing i realized that i did wrong, was that i did not create enough tension or attraction in the first place. And also fell into her frame first. Damn. Nd i stil have a great social value infront of her aswell, from the beginning. And were always laughing too, we flirt, etc.

    Damn. Guess i fucked this one up. If there is any chance for me which u guys might think. Let me know. And thanks alot for the advice again. I will work on the frame control, and being the prize.

  4. #4
    Cockblockkiller is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    I have yo agree with Batman but i have a crush similar in type to yours so i understand the benefits as well. Let me tell it to you straight. You are taking your chances and putting it in a blender and then taking a crap on it. With these type of got and insecure women you need to build sexual tension aka chemistry. After you do build it up (almost to the point you both cant stand it) have sex with her but make sure she is ready or if the moment is right. If you don't know how to build tension it is usually teasing a girl (playfully) then complimenting. It is like taking two steps forward and taking one backward. IDK whether your girl was like mine but the teasing part has to be more of a 1/4 step back because as you know they are sensitive(most of the time) you seem to have been out and in to the friend zone so here us two final suggestions: make her chase you if possible so that she doesn't have the pressure of YOU messing things up and don't ask her to "hang" because it is a used way of asking girls out she needs to feel special that's probably a reason she thinks she ruined her ex's life she believed what he made her feel. So do something creative and make sure to start teasing hard with light compliments and if it doesn't work then compliment hard (not too hard remember try to make her chase you) and tease lightly (this way might work best at first you decide)

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    Follow the rule #1 :
    Go find 10 other quality girls
    then you will have the power.
    Rule #2 g not give approval
    Rule #3:Make her your pivot,she will be very jealous
    'I am single now and I find this woman interesting will you help me?I will introduce you as my sister..'
    This is powerfull if you do that.
    1-you are a confident man
    2-y d not need her approval
    3-you Neg her
    4-you build mystery and drama in her mind
    5-y throw her out of her ideal reality

  6. #6
    haszan1172's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    Haha i tried all that. I havr sooooo many gal friends, and she does get jelous of em. One time she stared swearing at them aswell when i would give her attention. But i got confused as to how i turn it back on with her. So i told her i let the other girl go. She swore for a bit again at her. And this other girl was my ex. I was laughing at the stuff she said. Bit then she went back to normal mode. Everytime she sees me with other girls, she gets pissed off. The day in my texts when she went offence mode, i was woth 9 other girls. (Friends, attractive).and when i compliment this girl, she says you probably say that to every girl...... fuck. Then i tolf her its not the case, i like u a lot. More than others. Etc.etc. but then it lead to me being put back into the friend lzone. Somone explain this part please. Thanks.

  7. #7
    Cockblockkiller is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    OHHHH! Why you no mention that earlier. Take sometime to gain her trust but instead of doing it friend drop little romantic gestures in there so she at least doesnt put you in the friend zone ( dont make her jealous as you have figured out that doesnt work)

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    what do you mean make light romantic gestures? like take her out as a friend and hold hands once in a while? or something? and i havent texted her for almost 2 days now. It suddenly got pretty awkward. i should stir it all up, make everything exciting, then stop texting her, so she starts the convos again.

    and yah, then i tried to make her feel like shes the only gurl in the world, etc. cuz she was very jelous, then she's like
    "umm, thanks?"

    you could tell she was going full bitch mode after that. then i calmed her the fuck down, then she finally told me what was up. shes like "you ruined everything, i wanted to be friends, you fucked it all up"


    thats what happened man. this girl is wierd as fuck. i honestly think its a waste of time if this aint going any where. I think she likes me but is very afraid of a commited relationship, and to make her self vunarable. she has very low self esteem too. if you guys think this isnt going any where? please tell me straight up, i can take it, haha. Just don't wanna waste anymore time. And shes leaving by summer, moving away for ever. her dad got a job. thats why she said she doesnt wanna get close.

  9. #9
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-get-gir...html#post80900

    Freeze out then retry if you can't move on. But I'm with bat man, you should just release and fish elsewhere.
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I am sooo confused by this girl. PLEASE HELP! i like her ALOT

    Come on MAN! you are pua if you did all of that.
    She like teasing you like a player! It's so obvious.
    She sensed your player mode and mirroring you.
    Now she needs Drama ,Passion and Leading.
    No verbal communication.
    Kiss her. Stop playing and d not apologize for your actions to her.She will love that.She is waiting for this drama movie end.
    Stop over thinking in the field.


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