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Thread: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

  1. #31
    PUA Bart is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I really like this. She IS getting comfortable with opening herself up to you without fear of rejection. You will gain much rapport in no time and she will only desire to be even closer to you. I also really like your responses. But if I may critique....just a little lol....

    Your responses sound really controlled. Now...you didn't tease her, which is GREAT. She would never do anything like that again if you did. So I know that's a big step for you to NOT tease her. But try this...

    Try NOT seeming so controlled. Something like "Omg I can't stop smiling," really shows that she has an affect on you that you can't control. Saying things like "There's something about you that I can't help myself but be drawn to you," are very powerful statements. When you give her the feeling that you CAN'T control yourself around her when you actually try to, sends a very positive and powerful emotion to her.
    Ok, I would really try to throw it into the mix... how I gradually have more and more difficulty to control myself. It sounds as an easy way to "legitimate" more sexual touching, talking and appreciation. Something I would like to tell her is how I forgot everything around me when we met.

    And you are right, the old me would have teased her or maybe waited a day before responding! Only thinking it would make the attraction stronger.

    edit: I just send her this text: Tomorrow we'll finally see each other. I am smiling all the time thinking about it, and it makes me look like a fool and I can't help it. She responds immediately: "That's so COOL! I am really counting down the time "

    What you said earlier about the community not caring about opening up and showing emotions (cos it's beta and stuff... what kind of stupid term is beta and alpha, anyways?). I noticed that too. And I think it's really strange that the community puts so much emphasis on attraction, when the man who started it, mystery, himself said, and I quote: "the game is played during comfort". (But then he made the mistake of focussing 90% of his mystery method on attraction techniques).

    I know me and the girl I have my first date with tomorrow, aren't sleeping together yet... but I am wondering as it seems she is really into me:
    * Where are her so called sh1t tests?
    * Why does she like me when I have not used one neg, did not qualify her (although you can say showing appreciation for what she does, who she is and eventually how hot she is may be a way of qualifying), I have not used push pulls, did not DHV (or i did not do it actively, which also may be in itself is a DHV)... Only stuff I did do was being cocky and funny when the time was right, let her initiate kino, disqualify myself and showing evolving appreciation and talking about topics evolving from our shared reality (the party where we met) to more personal but still superficial topics... If I hould believe the community, the way I acted would certainly only get me in the friendzone... or am I about to be friendzoned by her? To Be Continued

  2. #32
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    Default Re: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

    Quote Originally Posted by PUA Bart View Post
    Ok, I would really try to throw it into the mix... how I gradually have more and more difficulty to control myself. It sounds as an easy way to "legitimate" more sexual touching, talking and appreciation. Something I would like to tell her is how I forgot everything around me when we met.

    And you are right, the old me would have teased her or maybe waited a day before responding!

    edit: I just send her this text: Tomorrow we'll finally see each other. I am smiling all the time thinking about it, and it makes me look like a fool and I can't help it. She responds immediately: "That's so COOL! I am really counting down the time "

    What you said earlier about the community not caring about opening up and shwoing emotions. I notice that too. And I think it's really strange that the community puts so much emphasis on attraction, when the man who started it, mystery, himself said, and I quote: "the game is played during comfort". (But then he made the mistake of focussing 90% of his mystery method on attraction techniques).
    This is truly amazing. I haven't seen anyone reach this kind of level in their game. It's like a hidden legend lol. Glad to know I am not the only one seeing these things. Mystery does only touch upon it, but something tells me he knows there's more to it than what he just wrote. Or maybe he just didn't explore this aspect of game yet. But he should know it's there. I do plan on writing a lengthy post about this sometime soon. There's so much more to say about it. It's time to start spreading the skill of building a connection properly.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #33
    PUA Bart is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

    Quote Originally Posted by Blistex View Post
    I was actually thinking about this the last few months, how the most alpha thing of all is not being in control of your emotions as much as knowing how to express them in a health way. That is what I think this girl I'm seeing now will help teach me. I remember a 44 year old woman I was seeing once. She told me that the most attractive thing about me was that I was not scared to reveal my emotions to her. BatMan, I would like to PM you a couple questions I have about this girl I'm seeing now if you don't mind, it mostly relates to this thread, but I would like to keep it private.
    I just recently started realizing the importance of showing emotions and sharing stuff, so I am no expert in the matter, but to my understanding you can almost immediately start doing it. Not tell her everything you are thinking and feeling, I mean it must be naturally evolving. First you talk to each other about the reality you are sharing at that moment, you give your opinion or feeling on the matter, she responds by agreeing, disagreeing or giving hers... a little like playing tennis. And everytime she tells something more about her feelings it's like an invitation to you to get to know her better and/or to share a little more about yourself too. Before you know it, you relate with each other, even if you disagree all the time! I have almost nothing in common with the girl who send me the love poem on thursday, but somehow we get along very well and she is open to me and I am to her. I think it's because I started on talking about simple stuff, and we both rewarded each other the whole time so we were able to evovle into talking about more personal stuff. It's the same with expressing appreciation, it was naturally growing. At first I appreciated her behaviour towards me (she took initiative to dance with me)... as we began talking about more personal topics I saw things I appreciated in her as a person (being sophisticated, optimistic and smart/intelligent) and I told her that... after a while I started to appreciate her social capacities (she is so easy to talk to) and the uniqueness to me (I never had such chemistry with someone I just met) of what is going on. Now I am trying, with the suggestion of Batman, to show that "I am a little out of control, and I just can't help it"... TBC today as we will go site seeing Bruxelles together.

    This is how I feel about expressing your appreciation and emotions... I think it's not so important on how you express it, I think it is really about making it naturally evolving. If you are in the moment and you truly see behaviour you appreciate, just say it she is scoring or making a good first impression with you, and start building from there on. If you are not genuine, than I guess the way you express it may backfire, as you can easily come across as someone who is trying to kiss her ass. But you can absolutely not go wrong with appreciating something she does good (asking you to dance, showing she cares, trying to tease you, etc...). By appreciating that, you are giving her a manual on how to seduce you. When being consistent in genuinely rewarding her for good behaviour, she will use it to make you feel better That's how I feel about it now, it can change over time as I gain experience using this stuff. But anyway, I feel it's a strong technique, and loving and appreciating fits my personality better than negging and DHV'ing and other popular darker PUA stuff. I feel there is a lot of negative energy in DHV'ing, punishing bad behaviour and negging, and I think romance is more about positive energy.


    I saw the girl yesterday about whom I was talking in my opening post. I was sharing more of myself, first she was not very talkative, so the conversation was not very fluent. When I noticed she did not reward my openess with being interested in me or telling me about her self on the same subject, I simply stopped talking until she started again about something else. I knew if I tried to bulldoze myself into conversation and report, it would show neediness and make her uncomfortable (because it screams "I want to fuck you because I think you are hot, I don't really care about you") . Eventually we opened up to each other, and we were talking the whole time. She came to the party with her friends, but she sat next to me away from them the whole time. But as I made my move/physical sexual escalation too fast by not legitimizing my interest in her a few months ago, I still feel like we are still in some kind of damage control situation. She told me her birthday party will be held on 23rd of february... but a glance to my agenda showed me I was not able to attend to it. I looked her deep in the eyes, and she said she will reschedule it. At the end of yesterdays party she began teasing me. I really like that, but I was so surprised that I forgot to express it, but I will say it to her the next time we meet. What I also liked, and forgot to express, was how she can be so caring. She was teasing me on being very muscular, with a role reversal she started on how she's much stronger than me (I: "oh yeah, your arms are so imposing, I am really really scared of you. Please don't hit me! Flex your biceps, I want to feel them! "")... but out of nowhere she became so concerned... "Bart, you aren't taking roids are you? Please, please promise me you will never do them...". I reassured her I thought about taking it but eventually concluded it's too much of a risk. I really liked how she suddenly showed her caring side... Again I was so surprised about it I forgot to express it, but I will later Expressing it later, maybe puts even more emphasis on how I really liked it? At the end of the evening my friend, who drove me to the party (we take turns on carpooling), came to get me. "Bart, are we going?". She and I were teasing each other with a big smile, and he immediately put his hands on our backs and pushed me and her against each other and said: "I think I will come back later and leave you two for a while.".

  4. #34
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    Default Re: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

    Quote Originally Posted by Blistex View Post
    I was actually thinking about this the last few months, how the most alpha thing of all is not being in control of your emotions as much as knowing how to express them in a health way. That is what I think this girl I'm seeing now will help teach me. I remember a 44 year old woman I was seeing once. She told me that the most attractive thing about me was that I was not scared to reveal my emotions to her. BatMan, I would like to PM you a couple questions I have about this girl I'm seeing now if you don't mind, it mostly relates to this thread, but I would like to keep it private.

    Sure. I don't mind giving my opinion on the matter. And I understand discretion.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #35
    PUA Bart is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

    I datet girl B today (the one I met a week ago). We visited a beautiful city. She tried her best to impress me, and she was real proud to take me up on a high building to show me a panoramic vista over the cityscape. Afterwards we went dancing in the park, where we made out. it was perfect. She talked the whole date long about everything she could come up with, not making a secret about it she wants to impress me with everything she knows, but once we started making out, not a word was uttered. But suddenly, she began asking me about wether I do this the whole time, taking beautiful girls to visit a city, dance in the park and make out. She wanted me to hear me say I was really meant it with her. I was really surprised with her concern as I concentrated from the moment we met, on making her feel special and unique to me. I hesitated because I did not yet think about wether this is serious or not and the age (she's 12 years younger) difference might cause some problems in the long term... I said "I really really like you but still need to get to know you better, but I feel this can turning into something meaningfull". TBH I did not know how express being a little uncertain about where I want this to go...

    So I am in control of everything. She chases me, she impresses me, she qualifies herself to me... she is crazy about me. Not a single push pull, neg, DHV or whatever dark negative energy PUA technique was used. Only being cocky and funny, disqualifying myself, conveying genuine and naturally growing appreciation and a naturally evolving way of talking with each other.

    TBC

  6. #36
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    Default Re: LJBF as a result of not enough report and emotional connection

    That is a tricky question to handle. You could simply tell her how special you think she is to you, but it may not seem genuine since she sparked the concern initially. And then on the other hand you could tease her by saying "Yea of course I do. Every Tuesday and Thursdays" which could backfire if done wrong and could also make you feel like you're going backwards towards attraction phase again. I say, why not both!!

    Start off by teasing her about it. "Yea actually you're lucky number 21 this week" (the exaggeration is on purpose) then follow with "No, but seriously. I don't know you that well, but I feel this unique energy about you that I haven't seen in a long time/before. It makes me want to know more." Again this is just my opinion, but I find it works for me.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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