Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 6 of 6
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By blazeboy

Thread: Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

  1. #1
    Paddington Bear's Avatar
    Paddington Bear is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 109, Level: 2
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 10.4%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5
    Points
    109
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

    There is a russian girl I am seriously into at the gym I go to in London - she really seems like LTR potential - and there are a lot of indicators that she is into me (see below), but the problem is she won't see me outside the gym as she is "seeing someone at this moment" (she didn't tell me until this week). We are both quite dedicated and train 2 or 3 times per day - over the last 3 weeks or so this is now usually together at every opportunity. we have got in to the habit of doing all the same classes, reserving bikes for each other, always being close together agreeing on our training schedule together, her persuading me to go to yoga classes together, and I convinced her to come to circuit training early in the mornings - we get on really well, spend heaps of time together but she seems reluctant to let herself go

    Some evidence that she seems into me

    we text each other about all the time (as an example today was over 120 texts each), pretty much constantly when we are both at work and during the evenings, i've started buying her coffee on route to the gym in the morning before work, at lunchtimes i'm getting her into the habit of meeting near work (we work close by each other) to walk to the gym together.

    four different people this week in the gym have said to me that we seem really into each other, or that we would be a good couple. one of the trainers we see every day is always making teasing us about always being together, or asking whether we are glued at the hip.
    Today he walked past us and asked when the wedding was and she just smiled and seemed to not mind. Earlier in the week he said to us that he always sees me talking rather than training and she hit me and asked who else I'd be talking to.

    Last week she wanted some help with negotiating a salary increase she texted me when she was pissed off at work and we agreed to talk about it after training - so we had a serious chat for a while on a sofa in reception and wrote stuff down, she'd often be touching my leg to emphasise something - then when she dropped her diary and i pretended to steal it, things turned into a piggyback / wrestle in front of the receptionists.

    one night this week we spent a couple of hours just sitting chatting on the stretching mats laughing and joking with a few guys i know giving me knowing looks. we would often be lying down close together - and there was plenty of contact - she's happy to get her hands on me at my suggestion 'to help with stretching my back'. She seems fairly comfortable with any contact or closeness together

    Issue

    Problem arises when I try and get her to go somewhere outside the gym - i've suggested lunches /dinner or drinks. I've made a start with the coffees in the morning that i collect and meet her on route, i'll try and make that meeting for a sit down coffee beforehand. as an example of her unwillingness to we walked past a poster for a comedy gig that i pointed out i was already going to and she said she'd thought about going too. so that afternoon i texted her to tell her i'd bought her a ticket.... she told me she hadn't said yes, i told her she wanted one so i got her one, her reply was that she has the right not to go and that is 99% likely to be the case and that i could recycle the ticket easily.

    Without really knowing what doing, I thought maybe I should probably just kiss her in the gym on one of our mat sessions? - but it doesn't seem the right setting and i reckon she is likely to refuse given her mixed feelings with guilt for this guy she is supposed to be seeing. It can't be that serious if we are texting each other most evenings until bedtime - i doubt she'd do that if she was with him?

    i figure if she has all this interest for me, that is surely enough of an indication that she reckons she isn't with the right guy or at least part of her wants to be with me? in my amateurish opinion (which could be miles out) she isn't going anywhere with me as she thinks things will happen if she does go out on a 'date' and she doesn't think it's right for her to stop seeing one guy to start seeing me. Maybe i'm miles out

    Help Please!
    would really appreciate any help how to get things moving - i really like this girl and to complicate matters i am being sent overseas for work for three months from the end of march and could lose ground :-( so ideally i'd like to have some kind of foundations in place before i go away so either she comes out to visit while i am away or is happy to continue things when i get back

    Thanks for reading

  2. #2
    blazeboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,223, Level: 30
    Level completed: 23%, Points required for next Level: 77
    Overall activity: 20.5%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    144
    Points
    2,223
    Level
    30
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    96

    Default Re: Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

    120 texts?? each? that's a lot of friggin' texts bro. Well if that's true, I think it's fair to say she has something going on with you here. Let me ask you this... have you taken the texts to a sexual level? My guess is no. You want to use texting to your advantage. it's such an effective tool to escalate... at least that's what i've found. i do think you need to use more push-pull... right now, i think you are pushing too much. Buying her ticket without even her knowing was not a good move. She's clearly pulling away. I think you pull back man. Slow it down... don't respond to her texts as much. Talk to other girls at the gym... if she likes you, then if you are all of a sudden giving attention to other girls, that's going to get her more into you. Let something like a comedy show be her idea. Don't buy her coffee, etc... I think she feels like she has the upper hand and you are not a challenge. You need to change the dynamics.
    The world is your matrix. You control the strings.

  3. #3
    Paddington Bear's Avatar
    Paddington Bear is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 109, Level: 2
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 10.4%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5
    Points
    109
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

    yeah it was 120 today - i made sure i counted rather than post a guess. granted they are mostly very short as she isn't one for long texts. i've tried escalating with the texts but i can't exactly say i had a clear plan in mind. some are jokey / banter / flirty, some are comedy attempts at russian and some are more suggestive on my part but usually she just tells me words to the effect of "no chance".

    She obviously knows I like her given I've been trying to get her out of the gym, but in words she's not really said the same - it's just her actions i'm basing this on rather than her words, plus what so many other people are saying. Besides, i've never been able to tell when a girl is saying one thing but meaning another. I've probably dropped a big clanger in telling her the other night what i think of her and also that if she wants to change her situation with this other guy she can.

    I do talk to plenty of people there, including quite a few different girls (and was quite pleased when she seemed playfully jealous when she heard i chat to other people when she's not around)

    Will try some Push/Pull - was conscious I was pushing too much but didn't really know that there was a term for it or what other plans to try! Will also instruct her it's her coffee round on alternate mornings so she needs to drag her ass out of bed 10 minutes earlier.

  4. #4
    Paddington Bear's Avatar
    Paddington Bear is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 109, Level: 2
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 10.4%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5
    Points
    109
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

    Have tried a bit of text push and pull today or at least staggered how long it takes me to reply to her texts and tried a couple of negs (these are usually taken in good humour). Pushes definitely need practice though - think I just come across a bit weird with them!

    But here is what I could do with some quick help with: I've got tickets tomorrow for a show I'd arranged with another girl I was seeing a while back (but no longer). I.e I have a spare ticket for tomorrow..... now I know for a fact the HB from the gym would like the show (cirque de soleil) but given what I mentioned on my original post i reckon she's unlikely to say yes.....

    So do I ask HB if she wants to go tomorrow, and if so how do i phrase it? It would be a good first date scenario surely?
    or is asking her now still appearing too keen and I need to back off for a while? As an alternative do I take another girl tomorow? (purely as friends but she is someone I've slept with a few times last year)

  5. #5
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 634, Level: 12
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    132
    Points
    634
    Level
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    35

    Default Re: Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

    Have you given her the gift of missing you? It seems that there is a certain regularity in your meetings at the gym and in the texting, and there is no challenge for her.

    As far as the cirque de soleil if you say that there is a high chance of her saying no then I would not go for it. Because if you know for a fact that she would like to see the show I guess she told you so at some point or another. To her it might seem that you are trying "to buy her" with these tickets. So I would go with the other girl and mention to her that you were invited by a friend to this show. Basically plot in some jealousy, but do not make it obvious. Possibly she will get pissed off. If she does that is a good sign as you know that that is her weak point. If she gets jealous call her on it, but tell her that that girl that you went out with is just a friend from you side. For you to pull this off you really need to be in control of your frame.
    If she does not show any signs do not worry I bet she will go home and think about it.

    Blazeboy is right that you need to take things to a sexual level. If texts are not working for you then do it on a more subconcious level. Eg. when she is working out and you are standing around

    Also I would read up posts on the boyfriend destroyer:
    Make the impossible possible!

  6. #6
    Grant C is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 297, Level: 5
    Level completed: 94%, Points required for next Level: 3
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Southampton UK
    Posts
    55
    Points
    297
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: Need help with possibly keen potential LTR at gym

    I think what Blazboy said is right, step back a bit and talk to other girls at the gym. Show her your not that bothered about her it will drive her crazy. You dont want to become her shoulder to cry on or her new bff! shes obviously loving the attention she gets off you but then she going home and farking her bf. act like you don't give a fark and only help her out by rewarding her for helping you with something. It give and take not give give.
    "Begin to be now, what will be hereafter!"


Similar Threads

  1. she is all keen, but then she stands me up?
    By Cas0604 in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 10
    Last Thread: 01-23-2013, 01:34 PM
  2. Girl i'm fairly sure is keen on me, but won't respond to flirting
    By Mr Fahrenheit in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 12-05-2012, 02:54 PM
  3. Receiving mixed signals from girl. She is keen but not enough!
    By independence13 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 07-21-2012, 11:58 PM
  4. Not keen on texting...
    By TheChallenge in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 01-18-2012, 07:39 AM
  5. Want to date this girl, but think shes getting a bit too keen?
    By El_Draque in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 8
    Last Thread: 08-03-2010, 04:37 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com