Re: A woman who was abused maybe?
Easy. I never got into a relationship with them. Lol.
But really, if you are interested in something serious with her than its going to be quite the uphill battle.
You have to basically MASTER frame control. Why? Because she will justify all her issues in the current relationship with you by pointing the finger at her past and that you should be "understanding." So you can't allow her to do that. There's a difference between addressing her issues and reinforcing them. Besides, you shouldn't be playing counselor or savior to your partner.
All you have to do is be happy and positive around her. You can talk about her feelings and issues, but don't add to it. You need a strong frame for this because she will unconsciously try to bring you down. You need a strong frame to bring her up.
"All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."