Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 5 of 5
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By PUA Bart

Thread: Did I mess up? My texts & commentary! NEED ADVICE ASAP!

  1. #1
    machoman is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 181, Level: 3
    Level completed: 62%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    31
    Points
    181
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Did I mess up? My texts & commentary! NEED ADVICE ASAP!

    Kind of long post sorry, but I have a story I need input with. The background is basically this. I saw a beautiful girl sitting by herself at my college campus, and made up my mind to talk to her. I went in direct, which she liked, and we talked about her, her hobbies, and her life. She's studying to become an animal lawyer, works at a telus, and has a passion for equestrian... I'll also mention shes smoking hot. I said I wouldn't be able to leave without her number, and she gave me her business card, highlighted all her information, and thats kind of where the crescendo begins. Here are our texts with my commentary and interpretations. P.s. I made the mistake that I didn't set anything up for a day 2, so I was really hoping to get her out for coffee FAST based on the initial attraction I had.

    Wednesday, Few hours after we met...
    HER: Hey dalmatian
    ME: Hey
    texted her a few hours later, simplicity is where its at
    HER: Ooo i thought you weren't going to text me back
    I liked her response for two reasons, one shes into me more than i am into her, two, i felt how lonely she is
    ME: haha I was on lockdown. Ill be seeing you soon. Night montreal
    Was really contemplating whether or not to respond to her text, and if so, whether or not I should add the 'ill be seeing you soon' part. Turns out i hit the double whammy.
    HER: Night
    Personally HATE one word responses from girls slightly more than i hate terrorism. Only slightly though. Moving on.

    Next Day (Thursday)
    ME: So i met this really cute equestrian yesterday.. Kinda want to flirt with her, what should I say?
    One of my favorite lines
    HER: Well your lucky she thinks ur kinda cute
    back in business? maybe?
    ME: Just cute? have you seen my ass? p.s. lets grab coffee tomorrow around 2.43
    I knew it was a hail mary as soon as i pressed "J" but I figured her last response was good id give it a shot
    HER: I work full time
    fml, i feel the entire vibe we (didnt already) have was gone entirely with this. What now? do I pursue playfully? should i be forceful, or pull the plug?
    ME: Haha then tell your interns to pencil me in
    Pursue playfully
    HER: Haha
    HER: Why dont u start by adding me on fb or something
    I knew this was the issue the whole time, the whole comfort thing. Also maybe she forgot how cute i am Personally I wanted to get her on facebook b/c I have a lot of things going on in my life, im social, travel alot, and have many interesting treats on my profile... Most importantly I have an array of committed girls who actively post on my wall (although one could argue this is counterproductive)
    ME: a) dont tell me what to do just cos you're hot b) whats your last name c) im awesome
    I was torn between this text and "Oh is that how this goes? Sorry Im only on ch.3 of dating for dummies :$", OR i was thinking of sending her a link to my fb in response to her last txt. NOTE: I obv knew her last name and had her card but i didnt to completely jump through all her hoops
    HER: You have my card :P
    How much further can this downward spiral go....?
    ME: stop playing these games, whats your last name?
    I couldnt think of anything better or more exciting to say, and then (after I pressed send of course) i thought a little harder and thought of about 400 things. At this point i was really getting frustrated with how little effort she was putting in, and how much power I had actually managed to lose. I think it was here that I a actually deleted her number from my phone, and was ready to pull the plug. The thing is, normally i have pretty solid and witty texting and can get them into whatever we're talking about, but with this one i was hoping to get her out ASAP, so i compromised. Nothin doin pal.
    HER: (sends her last name)
    ME: Youve been added. Im going to bed. Gnite kiddo.
    HER: Nighty night
    My cup runeth over right? better than her last good nite txt right? right guys? anyone?
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    I draw the line here and plead for help before I lose this one. I have a feeling that if I continue without guidance, Im going to sound like an indian mobster trying to smooth over an arranged marriage. Im not finicky about this girl, but i find that this tends to be major sticking point with others as well. Im generally a lot more confident when it comes to face to face interactions so I feel when i get her out its smooth sailing. But i need help getting her out, so please if you can take a look at this and give me guidance with this girl, it would mean a lot. What should i msg?


    Cheers,

    -MM

  2. #2
    callmemister's Avatar
    callmemister is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 278, Level: 5
    Level completed: 56%, Points required for next Level: 22
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    31 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    28
    Points
    278
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: Did I mess up? My texts & commentary! NEED ADVICE ASAP!

    judging by her replies, and i am no expert, at first glance i can see you're playing your cards right.
    you've got the green light from her. now as for what you should message her (best bet would be in a day or two) ill let the pros give you some feedback first. but something is telling me that if you comply and msg her through fb your loosing a bit of control over the frame, unless she initiates a convo or msgs first.
    If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. MLK Jr.

  3. #3
    ColonelMathus is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 235, Level: 4
    Level completed: 70%, Points required for next Level: 15
    Overall activity: 19.2%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Lebanon
    Posts
    60
    Points
    235
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    17

    Default Re: Did I mess up? My texts & commentary! NEED ADVICE ASAP!

    you didnt mess up... i helped a friend through this same exact situation and now she cant stop texting him... she asks for him to meet and not the other way round...
    i personally think that after she said "she works full time" you shouldnt have pushed it... she's a HB.. she expects to be pushed into it... you could have said "ah... maybe some other time" leave some mystery... have her wondering when you'll ask again..
    but you're still not out of it dont worry...

    your next approach would best be NOT to mention taking her out... yet... engage her with interesting topics... add value to yourself... she'll smile every time you text her...
    you said you met her around campus, ask her casually to come have a coffee with you. try to grab her interest with a topic quickly (or chick crack), then while you're explaining or talking, look down at the time, and say something like "this will take time... btw i'm going to have coffee to relax before i get going... tag along." (dont say it like a question)
    hopefully she wouldnt be busy (class schedules or anything)

    think about these thoroughly... and wait for more advice if you can... in the meantime you can text her about interesting topics of hers (you have her facebook)... build value...

  4. #4
    PUA Bart is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 134, Level: 2
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 57.8%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    27
    Points
    134
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: Did I mess up? My texts & commentary! NEED ADVICE ASAP!

    I my no expert yet, but I don't think you messed up yet. But I do see some dangers lurking around the corner. You came in direct and it seems you talked a lot about her but other than expressing you think she's hot, I did not see any appreciation for her as a person (maybe you did, but it did not show in your report).

    Based on your report, the danger exists in the fact that she will think she does not deserve your interest and that you will therefore come across as just another desperate guy trying to get laid. This will result in her being reluctant to date with you and not feeling comfortable to be alone with you. Even if she and you only want a ONS, FWB or farkbuddy kind of thing, most girls will need to get that emotional connection. She will not be able to have an emotional connection with you if her ASD is online because you let her in too easily or if she feels your are letting her in unlegitimately. She is hardwired to bond, if she does not deserve you and you want her, then any slut could steel you from her later on.

    I would lay of the game of you waiting to text her back and trying hard to come up with witty responses, most people can see right through that game and en plus it all becomes too quickly very tiresome for the both of you. You also have to consider you already have her attraction, pumping up the volume on your attraction game is like a salesman who still is trying to convince his already convinced customers that they should buy his product. Eventually the customers will think "there must be something wrong with what he is selling us" and the deal will jump off. You will not lose her if you gradually loosen up and show genuine interest.

    So what should you do to avoid the danger that is currently lurking around the corner?
    1 appreciate her genuinely for what she does and who she is -which legitimates your interest. Convey that those traits you were appreciating makes you interested in wanting to know her better.
    2 convey genuinely that what's happening between you is so freaking farking unbelievably awesome as to keep the frame of "this can become more than just friends" alive. Tell her sh1t like that you usually don't open up as fast to someone as to her, so that she must be playing her cards right. Or something else in the same spirit. Make her the one playing you, not you playing her.
    3. Keep up the cocky and funny. Crack jokes about how freaking hot you are, so she will still see you as a sexual being. Keep disqualifying yourself. It will help her make her feel comfortable with you, as you take yourself out of the game of wanting to seduce her.
    4. Don't keep on punishing her for seeking contact with you through texting (waiting hours to answer while you have in reality nothing better to do). But ask her to refrain from it until you know each other very well. It would be such a pity to get to know her by texting or chatting instead of talking and doing fun stuff together in real life. You will lose the good vibe if you punish her for wanting to hear from you, it makes her think you are not able to pick up on her cues and please her emotionally and sexually. Hold off on the texting and chatting but tell her in a charming way that you want to hold off.
    5. Let her know your plans of what you are doing the next few days and let her know you would like her to tag along with you on one of those activities. If she can't tag along, she can propose something else. If she doesn't then tell her "it's no problem" and repeat the same way of asking her out a week or so later.

    Also something that did not show up in your report, and which bothers me... you guys talked about her. But what about you? Don't you want someone who is interested in you? Don't you want her to ask about you? Don't you want her to show legitimate interest in who you are and what you do and what you like? It should be a mutual thing in my book.

  5. #5
    machoman is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 181, Level: 3
    Level completed: 62%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    31
    Points
    181
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Re: Did I mess up? My texts & commentary! NEED ADVICE ASAP!

    Amazing replies, thank you! @ Colonel Mathus, yeap it seems exactly like that to me, definately have to build up comfort. One thing though, this is the first time I've ever seen her on campus, which is part of the reason why I wanted to get her out ASAP. There was better ways to deal with her messages, i think i took offence too fast. In retrospect, it all could have been sooo much smoother, but hey hindsight is always 20/20 right?

    @ PUA BART yeah, we talked about me for a little bit, but personally, I like to keep things as vague as possible in the beginning, you know where i pretty much know everything about her, and yet, she realizes she knows nothing about me. Reading your posts, I see where I went wrong and I feel I can salvage something before its too late, over the next week. I'll send her a txt tomorrow asking about her weekend, and then pacify the situation for the next few days, gauging everything and maybe setting something up on the weekend.

    Then again, im not leaving anything to chance anymore, so any ideas on what would be a good msg to re-engage her, and how to proceed with this would be most appreciated!

    Thx again, you guys are phenomenal


Similar Threads

  1. Kino's Stack Commentary
    By Suave Kino in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 07-22-2012, 09:11 PM
  2. Guys i need advice ASAP please
    By Rambo in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 12-05-2011, 07:22 PM
  3. A big big mess. I really need advice please!
    By newyorkguru in forum General Questions
    Replies: 7
    Last Thread: 12-03-2011, 01:24 PM
  4. NEED PRO ADVICE ASAP
    By AFC_andy in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 10-06-2011, 09:17 PM
  5. ADVICE ASAP!!
    By PUA JOMS in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 08-25-2009, 09:11 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com