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  1. #1
    Zeeman646 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default The iois were there but it just didn't workout. Advice?

    Let me start off by saying that i do not have oneitis, i am talking to a few different girls right now, and this one girl doesn't bother me much at all. I am only inquiring about this situation to better help my game in the future, so the same situation doesn't arise again.

    So, i've been working on my game for awhile now. It started with my AA. I defeated that, and then went on to work on my game. I think i have some solid game for the most part, and recently my biggest challenge has been getting the date/hang out and escalating things to a more intimate level. The most recent example comes from an HB7 who i've been gaming for about a month now. Things have moved along a little slower than usual because she lives in my hometown, and i am only able to hang out with her on weekends. Anyway, this is the story:

    It all started with messaging me on facebook out of the blue. We knew each other previously, but not too well. acquaintances at best. In the past she was a real bitch to me, and i didn't get why. but it never bothered me. Anyway, before she messaged me, i hadn't talked to her in over 6 months.

    The conversation started with a greeting, then some fluff, and then randomly she starts spouting off about how she didn't know why she was such a bitch to me in the past, or why she didn't care for me, but lately she's been thinking about how funny i was, and how cool i am blah blah blah.

    I'm a bit confused by this... But I act like i barely noticed it (therefore hinting that i barely noticed her) saying "You were a b1tch to me? I didn't notice any bitchy behavior, and trust me, i know bitchy behavior!"

    Some more talk about that and all, and i end up getting her number and inviting her to a party i was having the following weekend. In the days leading up to the party, shes texting me all the time. Calling me at night. And when i don't text back real fast, she asked on several occasions, "i'm not bothering you, am i?" I'm just reading a lot of ioi's from our conversations. I'm pretty convinced at this point that i will be able to f-close at the party.

    Well... things didn't go as planned. Made out with her on a few occasions at the party, but that was it. Then the cops got called, and it's just a long story that didn't lead to an enjoyable night. That led to not being able to f-close. But that isn't the point. Before all the bad stuff happened, my ex got mentioned, and she started bashing my Ex pretty hard, but passively. "You can do so much better" "shes such a skank now" "all she does is mess around with trashy guys" Just throwing these in if anyone ever mentioned my ex. That struck me as odd, but i wasn't sure on how to take it (ioi?). Anyway, When she left the party, she called to make sure i was ok, and that everything was calmed down after the incident at the party. I told her all was well, and i decided to leave it at that.

    I didn't text her for a good 4 days after that. I was busy getting everything ready for the new semester, and forgot about most of the girls i was texting at the time. When i finally do shoot her a text, i get something along the lines of "omg i haven't heard from you in forever! Where ya been? " I told her i was busy, and i may have forgotten about her, (in a joking way) But not to fear, as i'm back.

    In the two weeks that follow, not much happens, but she says somethings that strike me as either an ioi, or a sh1t test, or i really don't know. But here are the things that struck me as odd:

    "Have you hooked up with anyone this semester yet?"

    "did i do anything wrong?"
    ^when i didn't text her for a few days^

    Fast forward to this weekend. The previous two weekends were failed attempts to get her to hang out, so i just went to a party, or hung out with another girl. No big deal. Anyway, this weekend comes up and i'm hanging out with a few friends earlier tonight. We have some drink, so I invite her over to come hang out and drink a little.

    The conversation goes like this:

    ME-"Come on out and drink a little with us"

    HER- "who all is there?"

    ME- *names people

    HER- "ahh okay, sounds cool"

    ME- "yeah. We're just hanging out, figured you'd wanna chill with us"

    (now here comes the text that just threw me off entirely)

    HER- "You're not going to make a move or anything are you?"

    (I honestly didn't know how to respond to that, so i ignored it, so she text me again)

    HER- "At ur house?"

    ME- "Yeah, at my place. We left for a second but we will be right back"

    HER- "oh that's so far away"

    ME- "Might be worth the trip. We're gonna be kicking it for a while"

    HER- "I might drop by and say hey"

    (I ignored her here)

    HER (about 2 hours later)- "oh man, i fell asleep"

    ME- "Alright then"

    She was being realllllyyy shady tonight, and it was just odd. Then i learn that she was hanging out with some other guy tonight, who i know to be a total AFC. Hes obsessive right from the get go, and i do not see how this is possibly attractive to her. I already decided that im going to cut my losses here and stop bothering with her, but there are a lot of things that confuse me about this whole scenario.

    1) she said so many things in the past month that are just... odd. From the "am i bothering you?" texts to bashing my ex GF, to asking if ive hooked up with anyone lately? I can't honestly be sure if they were ioi's or what.

    2) She texts me first 90 percent of the time. And shes always called me. I've never called her. This led me to believe she was quite interested.

    3) "you not going to make a move or anything are you?" What kind of question was this? I was honestly stumped on what to respond. Ive never had a girl ask me this. For future reference, how should i respond to this question?

    4) Was it anything i did wrong? Or was this just one of those scenarios i really can't help? I'm not sure what to make of this whole scenario, but if i did anything wrong i'd really like to know.

    If anyone is willing to help me make sense of this mess, please let me know if you need any other information. This is so confusing, i may have left some stuff out. But any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance guys, and sorry for the long read.

  2. #2
    Express27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The iois were there but it just didn't workout. Advice?

    Seems like she is trying hard to game you! You really did nothing wrong in my opinion. Seems like logistics simply kept you from f-closing her earlier. Now she is trying to get you to invest in her by going off with these other guys. That would probably work with an AFC, but you sir are a PUA!! Just ignore her and go on with your life. She'll be back once her AFC makes it to easy for her. She wants a challenge and you are that challenge. Keep it that way.

  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The iois were there but it just didn't workout. Advice?

    Some of us still know the difference in what real oneitis is lol. No worries.

    My only real suggestion is to take it to the next level by building comfort. That "get to know her" stage. I get the feeling you are still in attraction phase. But she's attracted to you already so why stay in the attraction phase. If it continues it will just be counterproductive and things will go stale. I think you still have a very good chance with her so I wouldn't cut her off completely.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    Zeeman646 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The iois were there but it just didn't workout. Advice?

    Thanks for the replies, guys.

    I think i have an idea of what i'm going to do. I'm not going to give up on this one, but i'm going to be very sparse in my contact with her this week while i'm at school.

    I will take batman's advice and build some more comfort, then try to f-close this weekend if all goes good.


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