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  1. #1
    rolis is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default how to get her back???

    hi guys,
    i've got a problem that needs consulting. i was with a girl and we where having fun together but her ex wouldn't let as be. he kept texting her and visiting her. She had strong feeling for him so when he told her to get back together she didn't knew what to do. eventually we broke up and she return to her ex. ever since we kept in touch and we talk almost every day. her ex lives far away and they have an long distance relationship. meanwhile, i start dating other girls but when she ask me i tell her that nothing serious happend yet. i know she want me, the thing is what to do to get her back asap. thnaks!!!

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: how to get her back???

    Hmmm this is a bit much. It's not a good idea to be with someone that isn't over their ex. And the fact you are still talking to her while she is with him makes it worse. She's getting her cake and eating it as well.

    But the feeling of losing a woman you were with to an ex is a sucky feeling. So the desire to know that you can have her back whenever you want is a powerful one. You want to have that control and I get that. I just hope that you don't really get back into something serious with her while she is still not knowing what she wants. You deserve better than that.

    And that's exactly what you should tell her. That you want a woman who knows what she wants. That isn't conflicted. You have to make yourself a challenge. Use Cat String Theory.

    Now this could swing either way. If she is serious about trying with her ex then it may work against you. It's about a 50/50 chance so use your best judgment to see if this is an option you can afford.

    I'm not sure what else to tell you other than don't let her have her way where she has both of you. She either gets 100% of you or 0%. Talking to her while she's still with her ex just lets her know that you are essentially ok with her doing you dirty and just up and leaving. Most women respond to men of challenge, not men that allow her to treat them less and walk all over them. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    rolis is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: how to get her back???

    from what she said to me, she got back to her ex so that the next time they broke up she will know that this is the last ( i hope that make sense). i can see that she wants me. the question is how to make her choose me and be sure of that decision so that we don't end up like that again...

  4. #4
    rolis is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: how to get her back???

    i forgot to say that her ex start acting like a wussy as soon as she met me and start asking her to take him back, crying and sending love letters. that thing worked for him. do you believe that this is the right way or that it worked only because she loved him before they broke up. also i have to say that now she is the person in control of the relationship (the first time they were together he was the one) and he is so unsecure and needy.

  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: how to get her back???

    When you have that connection and rapport, yes it could work for him. Especially if he isn't usually like that. Maybe most of the time he is a jerk. So that would make it more effective because she hasn't seen that side of him. She'll interpret that he really does care and that she should give him another chance.

    There isn't much you can do about it. But I know what you shouldn't do is allow her to be comfortable having you on the side lines, waiting for her, while she is with him. She'll never leave him for you if that happens. Sadly I feel your best choice is to leave her behind and let her go. She has to discover on her own that he won't change and things will not get better. And even if/when she does finally leave him, I would not recommend you dealing with the baggage she would bring to you. You may just end up a rebound. And as we know, no one knows they are a rebound until it's actually over.

    If you are in search of a healthy relationship I would not recommend having one with her. At least not for some time. She has to be single for awhile and learn to let go of her ex for her to be able to have one. Don't think of it as a loss, but a learning experience.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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