OK, part of the reason nothing happened is because I didn't make a move .
But please read below and let me know what you would have done differently.
I know this girl since the time she had a boyfriend.
We met twice: once out with common friends once and I stayed longer with her, dancing and having some good time (don't like spending time with girls I know there are few chances to end up with, but hey, didn't wanna go home either and she was the only one staying ).
Second time early on a Friday for a couple of beers before going out "for real" with other friends. Had nice time/chat. She still had a BF.
Now something like a couple of weeks ago I comment on something on her FB and she is really eager to see me again (several messages; told me "write me when you're back in town"; I don't write and she writes once again to set up the meeting).
As I expected and as I would find out later she had become single in the meanwhile, but I never actually brought myself to ask directly as I didn't care much and as I thought it would have put "romantic pressure" on the meeting.
THE MEETUP AT MY PLACE
I propose my place for wine, then a bar in front and then a club (important note: the club, a commercial one with a name for being populated by scantly dressed girl was not actually one of her liking).
She is really excited about the idea.
At my place we basically sit on two different couches (NOT side by side and not at an arm's length), drink wine and talk about a lot of things. We were both quite comfortable.
She told me me she had dated a guy twice and she could see that if she had been willing to go further a relationship was in the cards. But she wasn't willing (to start anything now, I guess she meant).
I don't make a move at all while at my place thinking to do so at the bar or later at the club when physically closer and then eventually go back home together.
ON THE WAY TO THE NIGHT OUT
It had gotten quite late actually, almost 3 I reckon and the bar was closed.
I make a move to hold her hand.
I don't remember if my "hand holding move" was before or after she had told me she didn't really wanna go to the club. I reckon that if it had been after, it might have sounded like a last ditch attempt and might have seemed desperate.
Still I think I had to something anyway because after such a long evening and at the third meetup (even though in the first two the sex/romantic question was "officially" off the table) I was risking big time of entering the friend zone.
Anyway, she actually retracts her hand and say "oh no sorry, I told you" (I think she was referring to the fact she didn't want a romantic connection now).
She adds something like "and I was just thinking it was such a great evening".
I take it very lightly, confirm it was a great evening and as if nothing had happened just try to talk her into the club.
That was a mistake, I think. It might have either sounded desperate or, more likely, that I was more interested in the silly -for her- nightclub -or in the slutty girls in there- than in her.
I should have accepted it and just added "I hope to see you soon again, you still owe me a wine at your place" or something like that rather than being boyish and push for the club thing with a girl that is not really into clubbing (dumbass you! ) .
AFTER THE EVENING
She, 1st message
Ciao Lucifer7 (yeah, I post with my real name )
I want to thank you for the very nice evening yesterday!!!!!
I really enjoyed the time with you! Please appologize my reaction on your try, but as I told you... Hope you understand and you are not angry with me
How was Metro? Have you met someone?
She, 2nd message
what time did you get home then?
and with how many girls, hahaha
She keeps investigating twice about my evening but I keep evading that question with a joke (quite well received actually) and by skipping.
Hinting you found some girls might make you sound like you're superficial and not much into her, while saying "no girls" might have "lowered the value" (what would have done instead?).
What do you guys think? What would you have done differently?
Please share, eager to read some comments/feeds!