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  • 1 Post By xavier
  • 1 Post By BarcelonaPUA

Thread: Question about psychology behind action in a bar

  1. #1
    RedSoBad is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Question about psychology behind action in a bar

    I am interested in psychology behind something, but in order to ask what about I think I need to give a little of the back story. On the other hand, maybe I am over complicating.

    For a couple of months last year I've been dating this girl that I still like but have nothing with anymore. I am not focused solely on her as there are plenty of others around, but as I said, I like her still.

    To cut my life story with her short, here goes what I am interested in and if anyone needs anything more just ask and I will write it..

    Yesterday, my friend and I went into a bar that I go a lot to as I know almost everyone there (and it's a popular bar) and she was there with her girlfriend and some guys (that are thought of as gays, and probably are - so no threat if I should even be concerned with that in any way as she is not my gf). I came in, I saw her there with all of them and I ignored them and acted as I didn't see her/them there, which I could pull off, and went to the bar with the friend where we drank some beers and had some laughs. I could see her from my position and she could see me but I didn't look and was engaged in a good talk with a buddy of mine (I am pretty sure that it is ok to have fun with your friend once in a while even in a bar and not pick up girls all the time ). After about half an hour she came over to us and said hi and stayed there for a couple of minutes with us and then returned to her own friends. While she was by our side we had a little talk where I commented on her horse-riding outfit and she told me that I am vaccinated from fashion taste etc. and then she went back.

    What I am interested in is: should i have been the one to come over to her and her friends, or is it ok for me to be there where she can see me and "make" her come to me or does it make no difference at all and something else in this little dynamic is much more important?

    I am pretty sure that I will have a lot of follow up questions, but this should be enough for start.

    I know the post is a bit long, and still probably a bit vague, but I am new around here so gimme a break ..

    Thanks..

  2. #2
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Question about psychology behind action in a bar

    What I am interested in is: should i have been the one to come over to her and her friends, or is it ok for me to be there where she can see me and "make" her come to me or does it make no difference at all and something else in this little dynamic is much more important?
    Hahaha that's what i'm doing to a girl right now.No it's not wrong but be sure to make it seem like an accident that u didn't say hi. Don't be rude though if u're eyes do meet say hi.
    I am pretty sure that I will have a lot of follow up questions, but this should be enough for start.
    It's ok if u make them interesting
    I know the post is a bit long, and still probably a bit vague, but I am new around here so gimme a break ..
    Better than most
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  3. #3
    BarcelonaPUA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Question about psychology behind action in a bar

    If i may:

    1 - it is always ok when she comes to you... that is the way it should be.
    2 - when she made the comment about you been vaccinated against fashion taste, you might have want to come back with a funny/cocky comment to show her you have the upper hand.

    Psychology wise she was testing you. you be the judge of what you think the outcome was in that one.


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