Re: Advice on this situation
I know the difficulty of trying to figure out how to not come across as weak or needy, but not wanting to be nice all the time.
There seems to be a bit of tension between you two. Back and forth mind games. Best way to alleviate any tension is to call it out.
Not sure why her message about picking up when you hung up bothers you. Whether it is truth or not doesn't matter. The fact is she took the time to explain herself to you. And that is a good thing.
Also try not to say you are NOT something. When you say you are "not being angry, but...." you might as well say "I'm not being a stalker, but I want to know your address." She may not even have assumed your message was angry. But now you have put it in her mind simply by mentioning it. (It also as a little hint of you being afraid to be judged by her. But that's a whole other subject.)
So that's enough of me bashing lol. On to the good stuff. And that is "How do you let her know she's crossed the line without seeming needy?" It's simple!....... You state your standards and expectations.
Understand that this game only increases our chances with a woman, not guarantee anything. Which means we cannot control her. Only influence. So when you tell her something like "I don't like it when someone behaves that way" you are stating what you expect, but not telling her what to do. It's letting her choose her next move. You drew the line, now it's her choice to cross it or not. Of course she may get defensive. You did just challenge her after all. But if you hold your ground and just tell her that you will speak to her later she will calm down from the sudden shock of you confronting her and she'll be more receptive to you the next time you talk. That is...if she does care about you enough that she doesn't want to lose you. Hope this helps and good luck.
P.S. She was not picking a fight.....you were.
"All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."